My only hope right now is the alcohol. I hope the alcohol muddled Ji’s brain so he won’t remember what happened. Oh, please let him forget about it once he’s coherent! I’m really starting to get scared. If Tabi finds out about this, ugh, I don’t want to think of what he would do.

 

I sighed as I watched my bestfriend sleep. Then, my phone beeped.

 

Tabi: wer r u? We’re going out remember?

 

My eyes grew wide as I finished reading the message. Oh, dang it! Dang! I forgot! I freakingly forgot about the date! I quickly stood up and ran for the door when I suddenly heard my bestfriend’s voice.

 

“Sandaya!” he called. I stopped and looked back again. I saw him turned to the other side with eyes still closed, mumbling. I realized he was just dreaming, seeing that he’s still fast asleep. I bit my lower lip as I was torn. I looked at my phone then my eyes darted back to my sleeping bestfriend. I glanced at the door then at my phone then back at Jiyong again. I did this for a few times, weighing the odds, my priorities.

 

“I’m sorry, Ji,” I whispered then headed towards the door. I half-walked, half-ran as I was now out of the apartment. A few good miles, my feet suddenly stopped, INVOLUNTARILY. I glanced back. Then I heard my phone ring, I looked at it and saw Tabi’s name on the screen.

 

For some weird reason I can’t explain, I didn’t answer the call and just stared at the screen. I’m not sure how many minutes I was standing, staring at my ringing phone. But it eventually stopped. Then I turned it off and started tracing my steps back. A while ago, I was half-walking half-running, but this time, I broke into a sprint. I was panting a little when I reached his bedroom. I smiled a little as I saw him still fast asleep. I walked towards his closet then opened it. My smile became prominent as I saw the boxer shorts I returned neatly folded. I took one out and searched for a loose shirt. Then, I started taking my school uniform off. I stepped into the bathroom and started taking a shower.

 

 

After a while. . .

 

I wore the boxer shorts and shirt I took out. Ah, it’s been a while. I’ve missed wearing Ji’s boxers.

 

After drying myself up, I decided to tidy the place up. I started picking up the scattered bottles on Ji’s bedroom. Then I proceeded to cleaning the living room. After being satisfied, I took the unopened bottles and brought it over the kitchen counter. I started opening them and poured the contents in the sink. I gave out a smirk as I saw ALL the bottles empty.

 

I went back to Ji’s bedroom. I took a seat at the edge of the bed. At this point, I’m glad I didn’t break a while ago. I was glad I didn’t shed a tear. I’m just not used to hearing Ji complaining about me or something like that. I’m just not used to seeing him needing someone to talk to because I was used in seeing him as the person I can always run to; I was used seeing him as my refuge. But on the other hand, I felt bad that I missed out a lot on what’s happening to him lately. I felt guilty as I remembered Ji’s words a while ago. He was right, I did change. At first, I was firm on being the “tough” Dara that I am. But being with Tabi helps me escape the memories of Appa sometimes; I can be vulnerable with Tabi without getting him overly worried. Maybe because Tabi had no connections with Appa, which is the total opposite of Ji.

 

I’ve been wanting to escape Appa’s tragic memories because I don’t like people seeing right through me. I don’t like being vulnerable in front of Umma and Ji. I’ve seen how much Umma suffered from Appa’s death. If I won’t be strong for the two of us, what will happen to her? I don’t want her to see that I’m suffering too because it will only hurt her more. That’s just my little way of helping Umma move on. Being with Tabi is different. I know that if he sees me being vulnerable, he won’t suffer as much as Umma and Ji because Tabi doesn’t know anything about Appa’s death; he doesn’t know it was my fault. With Tabi, I can freely blame myself.

 

Last year, there has been a lot of “accidents” involving me. Ji was always there. His worried expressions and actions remind me so much of Appa. How Ji always saves me and come to my aid reminds me so much of how Appa used to do that to me. With those reminders, Appa’s memories began to haunt me through dreams. I started dreaming about him frequently. And with every dream, Ji was always there, too. And I didn’t like that because I’ve always wanted to run away from those memories. I’ve wanted so much to escape that when I saw a chance, I didn’t hesitate to grab it which resulted with me pulling away from Ji. I didn’t notice that I was pushing him away already. It’s just that. . . Ji knew ALL about me that I secretly hated the fact that he knows what makes me weak. I secretly hated the way he can see right through me. I secretly hate that he kept on saying that IT wasn’t my fault. I secretly hate the fact that he shared so many memories with me and Appa. I secretly hate that ALL my memories with Appa, he was always there. And I secretly hate that the only memory of me being alone with Appa was his death. I secretly hate everytime I looked at Ji, I can always see Appa in his shadows and I can always see Appa’s shadow hovering over him. Appa told me not to cry anymore, to be tough and brave for Umma. That’s why I don’t usually cry in front of Ji. That’s why I’m being tough in front of Ji because I was scared. I was scared that if he sees me being weak, he’ll leave me too, just like what Appa did. I was scared to hear Appa’s words from Ji’s mouth.

 

And so, that’s where Tabi comes in. He became my strength for the reason that I can’t see Appa’s shadows when I’m with him. That’s probably one of the reasons I fell in love with him; why I always wanted to be with him, to be beside him.

 

But then, I also don’t want to imagine how it would feel to see that Ji is not behind me. Even if Appa’s shadow lurks over him, I still want him to be there everytime I looked back for he would always be my refuge, my comfort, my shelter.

 

I suddenly shook my head. Waah! I’m thinking of too much drama! See? This is exactly Ji’s effect on me! I don’t like being like this. Dang!

 

 

JIYONG’s POV

 

I groaned out loud as I felt a throbbing pain in my temples. I also felt pain in my body; lastly, I felt a sting in my face. Without opening my eyes, I stood up, making my way blindly to the bathroom. As I did, I felt more pain in my head. Ugh, headrush! I was a bit dizzy and so I felt I was swaying a little. I searched for my brush blindly using my hands. I proceeded on brushing my teeth and washing my face, still with eyes closed. Then, I felt for the towel and dry my face. That’s when I opened my eyes. And I was pretty SHOCKED with what I saw in the mirror. I saw dark purple surrounding both of my eyes, there’s a little bruise at the side of my lips and oh, there are also dark marks on my arms. How the hell did I get these? I can’t remember anything about a fight. I did not engage myself in a fight, right? Ugh, why can’t I remember anything? Where the hell did I get these? And who did this to me? I looked at myself in the mirror again. I looked like a panda right now! Ugh! This will take some time to fade. This explains the sting and pain I felt when I woke up a while ago. I looked hideous! Ugh! I need ice for this.

 

I stepped out of the bathroom, planning to get some ice when I suddenly saw a figure sleeping in my bed. The sight made me stop on my tracks.

 

Then it hit me.

 

Oh! Of course! Who else would have the guts to do this to me but her? She’s abusing the fact that I can’t hit her back or even hurt her. Aish! This truly explains everything: the two blackeye, the bruises. I shook my head irritably. Why did she do this? What is she up to now?! I marched towards her, swaying a little from the headache. I was about to wake her up and shout at her when I suddenly found myself staring at her. Huh! She does look like a baby when she’s sleeping, so angelic, so opposite of her boyish acts. That made me smile. But it quickly faded as I remembered that she already abandoned that “image”. But she still punch and snore like a guy though, evidenced by the pain and the bruises I’ve got. Well, at least hyung wasn’t able to change that, at least there’s still a proof that she’s still my little rabbit. I sighed. It’s really weird how she can easily make me feel better. Just a while ago, I was feeling a bit dizzy but by just seeing her, it miraculously disappeared.

 

I quickly shook my head. Dara has a lot of shortcomings, I shouldn’t be swayed.

 

 

DARA’s POV

 

I felt a menacing, heavy gaze upon me. I felt chills run down my spine. My eyes fluttered open and voila, I was greeted by a panda! Instincts made me kick the panda hard in the face. How the hell did the animal got inside? Did Ji adopt the thing for a pet? I saw the panda fell down on the floor.

 

“Oh!” I exclaimed as I realized that it was Ji. Uh-oh.

 

I quickly went to him to help him up.

 

“Are you alright?” I asked.

 

“Oh, I’m fine. Aside from the black eye, bruises, body pain, and a solid kick in the face, I can say I’m perfectly fine!” he sarcastically answered.

 

I can’t help but smirk as I threw myself to him. I hugged him so tight, err, more like squeezing him that he started to protest.

 

“Off!” he gasped as he was pinned down on the floor. “What the hell are you doing? Let go, it hurts!” he added.

 

Instead of letting go, I hugged him tighter. I don’t know why, but hearing him being sarcastic made me feel like he’s back; that he’s still the same Ji; that he’s still MY BESTFRIEND; that nothing changed between us; that he still sees me as his bestfriend.

 

“Dara, let go,” he said.

 

“No. Ah, I missed you!” I muttered mindlessly. He was quiet for a while, then I felt his arms around my waist, an indication that he’s hugging me back, that he already forgiven me.

 

“Can you explain how I got all these bruises? I know it was you so don’t you dare deny it.”

 

I pushed myself up away from him and looked at him. “Don’t you remember anything?” I hopefully asked. Please, don’t let him remember about me bathing him. I saw him frowned.

 

“Should I remember something?” he suspiciously asked.

 

I widely smiled at him then stood up.

 

“Get up, we have to tend to your bruises,” I said.

 

“I can take care of myself. And I’m scared that I’ll earn more bruises if you’ll be tending to me. And since when did you know how to tend to bruises? Besides, I bet TOP hyung is looking for you right now. You’d better go.”

 

I looked at him for a while then rolled my eyes. Is he really making me say this?

 

“Let me take care of you just this once,” I mumbled.

 

 

A while later. . .

 

I heard Ji chuckle as I was applying ointment and ice pack on his bruises.

 

“What’s funny?” I asked.

 

“It’s been a while since I last saw you wearing boxers.”

 

“Oh!” I mumbled.

 

“You haven’t explained yet how I got all these bruises,” he started.

 

“It’s a long story,” I answered.

 

“I wonder what Umma will say after she sees me in this state and after I tell her that it was your doing?”

 

“Do you want to earn another bruise?”

 

 

TOP’s POV

 

At first, I was getting impatient with Dara but when I can’t contact her anymore, I started to get worried so I decided to go to her place since someone told me that they saw her running through the school’s gate hours ago.

 

I pressed the buzzer. Mrs. Park greeted me as she opened the door.

 

“Annyeong!” I greeted.

 

“Annyeong!” she greeted back. “Come in,” she invited.

 

“Oh, no, it’s okay. I was just wondering if Dara’s home already?” I asked.

 

“No, she hasn’t arrived yet. She’s probably at the Kwon’s apartment.”

 

“Oh, neh, of course, sorry for the bother.”

 

I went towards the Kwon’s apartment the moment the door closed. I rang the buzzer. When no one answered, I pressed it again. Then, my eyes grew wide as I saw the door opened and saw my girl wearing a boxer and a GUY’s loose shirt.