“Your parents are going to kill you,” Junsu said as he sat down next to Changmin. His on-off boyfriend was smoking, again.

“It's harder to quit smoking. This is only my fourth one of the day. I'm cutting back.” Changmin crushed the on the brick wall he was leaning against. “Got any gum?”

“Of course I do.” Junsu handed him a pack of spearmint gum. “So, you really don't remember what happened that night?” It had been a few weeks since Changmin's drunken journey and confession. Junsu decided it was best not to talk about it until Changmin was a bit more stable.

“Not even a little. Did I do something stupid?”

“Well, other than nearly poisoning yourself you kinda told me you loved me.”

“Oh...” Changmin said.

“Yeah. I didn't want to talk about it. But we need to. Because I need to know where we stand as a couple, if we are a couple, and what we want from each other. I enjoyed the stuff we do- did- together. And I understand that you need time and there is a lot going on right now. I'm your best friend, first and foremost. And I will always be your best friend.”

“I don't know what to do. I do care about you. I just need time. Okay?” Changmin watched Junsu's reaction, expecting it to be angry or upset. Junsu's face softened and he smile, a little sadly, but completely understanding.

“Okay. I'm here for you if you need me.” Junsu leaned over and kissed Changmin's cheek. “And for what it's worth, I love you too. In so many different ways. And I miss my best friend. Bring him back for me.” Junsu stood to leave.

“Wait! Just a minute, wait, please?”

Junsu stopped and turned. “Yeah?”

“I'm still your best friend. I'm just... Going through some right now.” Changmin took hold of Junsu's hand and squeezed it tightly. “Don't give up on me?”

Junsu squeezed Changmin's hand back. “Never. I'll see ya tomorrow. Work harder on quitting.”

Changmin spritzed a little cologne on his shirt. He saw Yunho's car turn the corner and stood to meet it. He climbed into the front seat.

“I know you're still smoking, so quit playing games,” Yunho said as soon as Changmin was settled. “I appreciate that you're trying though. How was school?”

“Crappy. Like always.” Changmin slumped into the seat.

“I'm not mad about the smoking, Changmin. I'm just concerned about your health. We haven't raided your room and we trust you. Even though you haven't proven we can, yet. But Jae and I are willing to take a chance and let you deal with this your way.”

“I know! Christ, guilt trip much. I know what I'm supposed to be doing and I'm doing it. I'm only smoking 6- 7 cigarettes a day. Tops.”

“And that's 6- 7 cigarettes too many. Changmin, you know my grandfather died of lung cancer. My grandmother ended up with throat cancer because of smoking. I know it's hard to quit, but you need to show more self control.” Yunho took a deep breath. “I'm sorry. I'm not angry at you. I just want you to be healthy.”

“I broke up with Junsu... I think. I don't even know if we were dating or not.”

“Are you two still friends?”

“Yeah. At least he said he wanted to stay my friend. What we were doing was really ed up wasn't it?”

“Language, Changmin!” Yunho scolded. “I guess it was. I was doing a lot of the same things at your age. I think Jaejoong is the better person to talk to about these things.”

“Junsu told me I said I love him. When I was drunk that night. I don't remember anything, expect waking up with you and Dad. And feeling like crap.”

“You drank a lot. You could have died. So, do you?”

“Do I what?”

“Love Junsu?” Yunho was uncomfortable with the conversation, but at least Changmin was talking to him.

“I don't know. I don't want to hurt him. And I don't want to be alone.”

Yunho parked in front of the rec center where Changmin's Ala-Teen meeting was being held. “You're not alone. Everyone loves you so much- me, Jaejoong, your sisters, your brother. Even Junsu and his family. We all love you so much. Do you want me to me come in today?”

“No. I don't know if I'm going to talk or not, so...”

“I understand. I'll be right here if you need me.” Yunho hugged Changmin and kissed his cheek.

Changmin sat in the semicircle. No one was talking. They were just eating muffins and slurping down day old coffee. Changmin stared at his feet. He hated these meetings. He didn't understand why he had to sit through 20 of these meetings. It wasn't like listening to other people's sob stories was helping.

Listening to his parents talk, through, was helping. The conversations in the house were getting back to normal. Yunho was home a lot more and Jaejoong was being more relaxed and calm. Changmin still had a ridiculously early bedtime, but his parents were easing up on that, too. He tried to talk to his Dads a little bit more. It was hard for him to open up, but he tried really hard. And he had Junsu to talk to.

“Changmin, would you like to share anything?” Mr. Lee asked.

“Not really,” Changmin replied.

“You know that this only works if everyone shares.”

“Fine. What do you want me to talk about? My life is fine. My parents are fine and I'm fine.”

“Changmin, that's not why you're here. Why don't you tell everyone how you've been feeling?” Mr. Lee prompted.

“Fine. I woke last night sweating and shaking. I had another nightmare. I stood in front of my window, wishing I had some vodka. But I don't. I don't have anything. My meds were cut in half and I feel like .”

“That's a start. At least you're being honest. Now, who's next?”

Changmin sighed and slumped in his chair. He glanced at his watch; 45 more minutes to go.

After the longest hour of his life, Changmin climbed back into Yunho's car. “When can I stop going to these stupid meeting?”

“9 more to go. As per doctor's orders.”

“This is bull. I'm fine. I don't need to be in AA.”

Yunho sighed. “Changmin, I know you hate this. Just stick out for a little bit longer. You're getting so much better. We're seeing progress everyday. And I am so proud of you.” Yunho leaned over the center console and kissed the top of Changmin's head.

“Thanks, Daddy.” Changmin smiled slightly. “What's for dinner?”

“No idea. I think we might be ordering out. Jaejoong was up all night working on his book.”

“Still?”

“Yeah. It's really rough on him. He hates that every time he turns around his publisher wants another book about us.”

“I thought Dad already wrote about us, when I was like 3. When you and him had that big fight.”

“You remember that fight?” Yunho felt a pang of guilt in his heart. Those two weeks were the worst weeks of Yunho's life.

“Vaguely. I remember the night of the fight, because I could hear you and Dad yelling at each other. I remember crying a lot. And talking to Dad on the phone a lot.”

“I'm so sorry. I know how hard that was on you kids and I feel horrible that you guys had to go through that.”

“It's okay.”

“No it's not. We never should have let it get to that point. We hurt you kids and we shouldn't have.”

“Daddy, I understand. I barely remember it. And you and Dad haven't fought like that since. It's just me that's a complete up... Uhm, sorry about that.”

“You're not a up, Changmin. You've made some bad choices and you got sick.” Yunho took hold of Changmin's hand and gave it a gentle squeeze. “Now, let's go figure out dinner.”

Changmin smiled. “Thanks, Daddy.”

The twins were sitting at the kitchen table, working on homework.

“Where's Dad?” Changmin asked. He sat and grabbed an apple.

“In his office. Last time I went down he was swearing at his computer, so...” Moonbin said, not looking up from his math book.

“Right.” Yunho nodded. “Well, go get menus together and pick a place to order from.” Yunho walked down the stairs slowly, not wanting to enrage Jaejoong.

“I'm fine. You don't have to sneak around,” Jaejoong called. “I'll be up to fix dinner in a few.”

“I figured we'd just order out tonight. A nice little treat because everyone's been working so hard.”

“How was AA?” Jaejoong pushed away from his desk.

“He didn't want me to come in today.”

“His therapist is going to be pissed.” Jaejoong rolled his neck and stretched.

“I know. But I feel like if we push too hard, he'll shut us out. We did talk a bit.”

“Maybe that's better than us sitting in on AA.”

Yunho bent forward and kissed Jaejoong's lips. “I hope so. I'm more worried about Changmin and Junsu's relationship.”

“Yeah? Why?”

“Remember me and Yoochun, before you and I got together.”

“Oh... That's not healthy,” Jaejoong sighed. “They need to work it out for themselves.”

Changmin was sitting in his room finishing his homework when he heard something hit his window. “What are you doing, Junsu?”

“I thought this was how we got each other's attention. Can you come down for a bit?” Junsu smiled at Changmin sweetly.

“Yeah. Well, let me ask Dad, first.” Changmin walked to his parents' room slowly, convinced they would tell him to go to bed. He knocked lightly.

“Come in,” Yunho called.

“Uhm... Junsu's here, in the backyard, actually. He wants to talk to me. Can I?” Changmin knew he was pushing it, but he didn't think Junsu would come over unless it was important.

Jaejoong looked at the clock on his nightstand. “You have 20 minutes. Your bedtime is still 9.”

“Okay.” Changmin walked over and gave them each a hug and a kiss.

Junsu was sitting on the low garden wall. He smiled again when Changmin sat down next to him. “Thanks for coming out.”

“Is everything okay?”

“Yeah. I just wanted to talk to you. About our conversation earlier.”

“I figured. I told you. I don't remember what I said when I was drunk. And that's not fair to you.”

“I know. I've just been thinking about everything all day. Hell, I even talked to Leo and Tigger...”

Changmin snickered.

“Hush! You know I talk to them when I'm upset. Anyway, I love you. I've loved you for a long time. Our first kiss was the best moment of my life. I don't understand everything you are going through. But I do understand that you need me. As much as you are trying to push me away. You need me.”

“I don't have any right to need you. It's not fair to you and I don't want you to feel obligated to help.” Changmin shoved his hands into his pockets to keep from reaching out and clinging on to Junsu.

“It is fair. I'm putting myself here for you. Changmin, I love you. You're my best friend. My god, are you blind? I am completely and totally in love with you.”

“Junsu...”

“Shut up.” Junsu leaned over and captured Changmin's lips in a fierce kiss. He nipped Changmin's lower lip. He opened his mouth to invite Changmin to deepen the kiss. Changmin tangled his hand into Junsu's hair. He wanted to push Junsu back, to line his body up against Junsu's and never stop touching him.

He pulled away instead. “We shouldn't do this. I care about you. But...”

“There are no 'buts'. I'll wait. As long as you need me to, I'll wait for you.” Junsu pulled a silver tabby plush cat out of his hoodie pocket. “Hold on to Tigger. I know it's stupid and childish, but if it makes you feel better, even a little bit...”

“Thanks.” Changmin took Tigger from Junsu and held it lightly. The cat was a little misshapen and threadbare. “Junsu, I do you love. I just don't want to drag you into all this .”

“You're not dragging me into this. I'm willing following you.” Junsu placed a soft kiss on Changmin's lips. “You better get back inside before you get into more trouble. I'll see ya tomorrow.”

Changmin slid the glass door shut slowly. Jaejoong was sitting at the kitchen table waiting for him.

“Did I stay out too long?” Changmin gulped. He was trying to earn back his parents' trust and not being able to follow simple instructions wasn't going to help him.

“No. I just wanted to talk to you before you went up to bed. Have a cup of tea with me.” Jaejoong poured tea into two small cups. “We don't get to talk much, just the two of us.”

“I've been fu- I mean, messing up so much. I'm sorry.” Changmin hung his head.

“I'm so proud of you. You're taking all the right steps to get healthy and you're talking with us more.” Jaejoong stood and pulled Changmin into his arms. “I love you so much, Minnie. So much.”

“I love you too, Dad.” Changmin buried his head against Jaejoong's shoulder and smiled. He squeezed the plush cat in his pocket and knew he was going to be okay.

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This was kinda fluffy. It had fluffy parts... I have no idea what the next update will be like. But if you want previews and stuff you can follow my tumblr: http://serenitygracethings.tumblr.com/