Blue-grey light filtered into the pastel green nursery as Changmin woke. He blinked slowly against the light. His tummy growled loudly as he pulled himself up on the railing of his crib. He could start crying and screaming for his Dada, or he could climb over the railing and go to Dada’s bedroom.

 

Going to Dada’s room sounded much more fun at this moment. It took a little maneuvering, but Changmin managed to hoist himself up on the railing. It was the climbing down that he was still trying to figure out. He let go of the railing and let himself fall on to the plush soft carpet. He sat there for a moment, escaping was easier than he thought it would be.

 

He zoomed to his parents’ room. He was trying to walk, but he was so much faster when he crawled. He knew Dada would still be asleep. Dada liked to sleep late when Daddy allowed it.

 

Changmin sat next to the bed for a moment before pulling himself up to stand. He could see his Dada sleeping on his stomach, blanket pooled around his waist.

 

Changmin tried to climb on to the bed, but only managed to tangle himself in the blanket and topple back to the floor with a loud ‘oomph!’. He was thoroughly stuck in a sea of blankets.

 

Luckily, his struggling woke Jaejoong. “Changminnie? When did you get here?” Jaejoong untangled his less than graceful son and lifted him on to the bed. “I bet you’re hungry. Let’s lay down for a little while.”

 

Changmin nodded his head and yawn. Dada was soft and warm. And smelt so good, kinda like fresh baked ginger bread. He giggled as Jaejoong laid the him on the center of the bed. “Dada! Food!”

 

“Shhh. Let’s sleep.” Jaejoong tickled his son’s tummy as he laid back down.

 

“Food!” Changmin giggled loudly. Jaejoong closed his eyes and feigned sleep, trying his hardest not to laugh as his baby climbed on to him and patted his face with tiny hands. “Dada! Food!”

 

“Okay. Okay. I’ll get you food.” Jaejoong tickled Changmin’s belly again. “Always thinking with your tummy.”

 

Jaejoong carried Changmin to the kitchen and set the toddler in his high chair. Breakfast was so easy when it was just Jaejoong and Changmin. A cup of cheerios and a banana for Minnie and a cup of coffee and a bagel for Jaejoong. But, he missed his husband and daughter. He was reluctant when Yunho first announced he was going to take Jyuni to Japan for his business trip. Yunho was insistent and Jyuni was too excited for him to really say no to them. And Jaejoong, in the end, gave in.

 

He smiled at the thought of it just being him and his son for the week. Jaejoong rarely got time to himself and even less time to spend with Changmin. Jaejoong really needed to cut his hours back at the office and work from home a little bit more. He wasn’t feeling well and was tired all the time. And tot op it all off, his blood sugar was fluctuating more than usual.

 

Changmin’s happy gurgling brought Jaejoong’s attention back to reality. The toddler was smiling joyfully with banana and cheerios stuck to his face.

 

“Changminnie, how did you get banana in your hair? We’re gonna have to have a bath before we go for a walk.”

 

“Kay!” Changmin loved baths. He loved water and he loved being . So much so that Jaejoong was no longer embarrassed when the child stripped , not caring where his was.

 

Jaejoong unbuckled Changmin from the high chair and carried the squirming, giggling baby to the bathroom.

 

“You’re not going to be helpful today are you?”

 

Changmin laughed louder. Jaejoong set him on the bathroom floor and turned to fill the tub. Changmin sat and watched his Dada for a few moments before stripping and crawling as fast as he could out of the room.

 

“Changmin! No! Come back!” Jaejoong chased after the speed demon he called a son. Changmin was almost to the front door when it opened.

 

“Whoa, that’s a baby,” Jaejoong’s eldest sister said as she scooped the child into her arms. “A messy, baby.”

 

“Thanks. I was just getting a bath ready. He escaped. He’s been doing that a lot lately.”

 

“How are you feeling?” Jihee asked as she passed Changmin back to Jaejoong.

 

“I’m tired today. But okay.” Jaejoong walked down the hall way with Jihee on his heels.

 

“You’re pregnant,” she retorted.

 

“I am not.” Jaejoong place Changmin in the bath seat. “I’m not, Jihee. Hand me a wash cloth?”

 

“You seem to be forgetting your last pregnancy. And your love-affair with your bed during that time.”

 

“I have an appointment with my doctor on Wednesday. I’m sure I just need my meds to be adjusted. I haven’t changed them since Minnie was born. I need you to take him for the day, if that’s possible.”

 

“Of course. But doesn’t Yunho’s mom usually take the kids?”

 

“Yeah. But she’s going out of town and Yunho will still be in Japan.” Jaejoong turned to his sister, who staring at him doubtfully. “Stop looking at me like that.”

 

“I’m not doing anything Jae. It’s all in your head.” Jihee raised her hands, mockingly surrendering. “I haven’t said a word.”

 

“It’s just my meds.” Jaejoong concentrated on washing Changmin’s hair. “I haven’t had them adjusted in a while and my blood sugar is a little off.”

 

“Which meds?”

 

“The lexapro. I went off it for the pregnancy and then was on a really low dose.”

 

“The insulin is still good, right?”

 

“I think so. I’ve been running a little high this week, but I’ve been working overtime at the office and then coming home and taking care of the kids.”

 

“Yunho’s been helping?”

 

“Of course! Christ Jihee, do you think he’s evil or something? Of course he’s been helping with the kids.” Jaejoong wrapped Changmin in fluffy towel and held him close.

 

“Don’t get mad, Jaejoongie. I just know that Yunho can sometimes get caught up in work. I wasn’t suggesting he was neglecting you.”

 

“Well, he’s not.”

 

“I’m sorry. I wasn’t trying to imply anything.” Jihee held out her arms. “Can I cuddle my nephew?”

 

Jaejoong passed Changmin to his sister. “Of course. I’m sorry, too. It’s just, when I got pregnant with Changmin…”

 

“I know. Mom and Dad called Yunho selfish for ‘pushing’ another baby on you.” Jihee bounced Changmin and the baby gurgled happily.

 

“I really don’t understand this kid. He talks so well when it’s just him and me or him and Yunho, but the minute there is someone else in the room, he acts like he doesn’t understand anything.” Jaejoong tidied up the bathroom.

 

“He’s just shy. A lot like his Dada was.” Jihee bounced Changmin up and down and smiled. “Jaejoongie, listen. You need to take care of your self better and take time for you. You run yourself ragged.”

 

“I know. I’m going to cut back office hours. I want to be home more.”

 

“Is everything really okay? You need to be careful.”

 

“I know.” Jaejoong his son’s fine hair. “Changmin’s my little miracle.”

 

Jihee was silent as she watched her brother caress his son. Changmin was a miracle. And it was a miracle both Jaejoong and Changmin didn’t die. The last few months of Jaejoong’s pregnancy was rough. Harder than it had been with Jyuni. “Just take care of yourself. You’re my favorite brother and I don’t want anything bad to happen to you.”

 

“I’m your only brother.” Jaejoong laughed, “I’ll be fine.”

 

Jihee sighed to herself and walked to Changmin’s room to dress him for the day. She chose light blue pants and a matching shirt with a bright yellow duck on it.

 

A clap of thunder rolled by as they gathered up their picnic. Changmin cried at the loud noise and reached for Jaejoong.

 

“I guess we’ll have to have the picnic inside,” he said, cradling Changmin close to his chest. There was another clap of thunder and then it began to rain. Changmin whimpered at the thunder and tucked his head under Jaejoong’s chin. “It’s okay, Minnie. The sound  can’t hurt you.”

 

“Dada…” Changmin hugged Jaejoong tighter.

 

 

Jihee left late in the afternoon, just as Jaejoong was putting Changmin down for his nap. But Changmin would not settle down. He fussed, cried and continually climbed out of his crib.

 

“Minnie, please. Take a nap, Sweetie. Dada needs to get some work done.”

 

This only caused Changmin to cry harder. Jaejoong did everything he could think of to make Changmin stop crying. He changed the baby’s diaper, changed his clothes. He tried to give Changmin a bottle, which was violently refused as Changmin threw it across the room. Changmin wasn’t sick, he wasn’t running a fever, and he didn’t seem like he was in pain. Jaejoong figured the baby was just over tired and cranky. There wasn’t much Jaejoong could do except walk around the apartment, bouncing the baby gently.

 

Changmin finally cried himself to sleep and Jaejoong was too afraid of waking the baby to put him in the crib, so he laid down on the sofa with Changmin clutched to his chest.

 

“What’s wrong, my Baby? You’re not sick are you?” Jaejoong cooed to the sleeping Changmin.

 

Changmin had been sleeping for barely 10 minutes when the kitchen phone rang. He woke, yelled and began to cry again.

 

Jaejoong swore and carried Changmin with him to the kitchen.

 

“Hello?”

 

“Is everything okay? Why is Changmin crying?” Yunho asked in a near panic.

 

“He hasn’t napped yet. Well, he did for about 10 minutes but then you called.” Jaejoong tried very hard not to sound irritated. Changmin squirmed and fought with his Dada. Jaejoong finally gave up and set the wailing child on the floor.

 

“I’m sorry.”

 

“It’s okay. It’s not like you could have known when I was setting him down for a nap.”

 

“You sound angry.”

 

“I’m not. I just have a headache. I’ve been trying to get Minnie to take a nap for an hour already. And he just won’t stop crying.” He rubbed his temples, the tension not leaving.

 

“I’m sorry. We’ll be home on Thursday. I’ll ask Mom to babysit on Saturday and I’ll take you out for the night.”

 

“I’d like that. I have my doctor’s appointment on Wednesday. Jihee’s watching Changmin for the day.”

 

“How was your sugar today?”

 

“Fine. A little high again, but within normal range.”

 

There was a few moments of silence.

 

“I just worry about you Baby.”

 

“I know. I love you.” Jaejoong smiled into the phone.

 

“I love you, too. I’ve got to go. I’ll see you on Thursday.”

 

“Okay. See ya late.” Jaejoong hesitated for a moment. “Yunho?”

 

“Yeah, Baby?”

 

“Nothing. Never mind. I’ll see Thursday.”

 

Yunho and Jaejoong said their goodbyes and hung up. Jaejoong stared down at his son who was still crying.

 

“Come on Changmin. Dada has a headache and wants to take a nap.” He carried Changmin to the master bedroom. He set Changmin on the center of the bed. “Stay there. I’ll be right back.”

 

Changmin watched his Dada as he entered the bathroom and came out with a small, purple bottle of lotion. Jaejoong warmed the lavender lotion in his hands before smoothing it over Changmin’s arms and legs.

 

Jaejoong hoped the calming scent would help his baby sleep. Jaejoong laid down and pulled Changmin close to him.

 

Changmin wasn’t screaming anymore, but large tears were still falling from his eyes. He missed his Daddy. And he was so tired. He laid his head on his Daddy’s pillow and shut his eyes. The last thing he felt was his Dada smoothing down his hair.

 

Jaejoong smiled when Changmin start to snore.