“Shall we start then?” The officer suddenly asks bringing me back from my thoughts.

     “Ah ye, ye” I immediately say.

     “I want you to try your best and remember the day all these things started”

     The day? I don’t know an exact date. But I should try! We are doing this for Jung Min and I have to let go of my stupid ego and do everything I can to help the police to find him.

     I try my best to remember the exact day that I felt that Jung Minnie’s behaviour is unnatural. Every weird or inappropriate thing he did streams down into my mind and everything jumbles. I swim though all my thoughts and finally grab my first memory of him being weird.

     Just as the previous time, as I start to remember the story it starts to build up like a painting in front of me and I feel like I’m living inside it right now.

_________________________________________________________________________________________________________

     Hairstylist *noona is working on my hair. She has made it straight and long looking. I like the style.  My dark brown highlights are a little bit hidden unlike Leader’s; his highlights are all uncovered and his hair looks like a mess. I really don’t like the style they’ve given to him. I carefully observe other members’ hairstyles. Kyu Jonggie’s hair looks okay; it’s spiked into Beckham style. Young Saeng hyung’s hair looks straight and black as usual. Then there’s Jung Min; I envy his hair right now. His hair looks longer than mine and neatly straightened at every single place. His hair’s never completely black. These days he’s keeping some highlights of dark and light brown here and there. He said he want to dye his hair silver. I actually laughed out loud at his idea. It is funny isn’t it?

     “How long will it take?” Manager hyung comes and asks from noona.

     I’m the last one to get my hair done and I feel like I’m delaying everyone. We are filming our music video today. We don’t have much long to release our album so manager is in a big hurry these days. He would fast forward everything if he could at this moment. Noona hurriedly finish my hair and ask me to run to the set.

     The set looks bright with all the spotlights. I practice my dance steps as I walk towards it. Other members are on their positions and I’m the one who’s late. Why am I always like this?

     “Late again huh?” Jung Minah says.

     I give him a wide grin and hurry to my place.  

     “You can’t do this all the time you know?” He says again.

     “Ah arasso” I say dragging the ‘o’ with an annoyed tone.

     “You were playing around without letting noona to do your hair earlier”

     “Mianhe everyone” I say looking down.

     “Saying sorry doesn’t help everything” Jung Min says.

      Why is he so serious about this?

     “Ah Jung Minah stop now” I whisper to him.

     “Stop? Stop what? You are always late and our whole schedule goes wrong because of you” He continues.    

     “What is the matter with you?” I snap.

     “What is the matter with you?” Jung Min snaps back at me highlighting the word ‘you’.

     “Will you both just shut up?” Leader shouts from the front.

     “We’ll deal with this later” Jung Min whispers to me.

     “I said shut up” Leader shouts again.

     “Mianhe hyung” We both whisper and become silent.

     That was quite odd. Jung Min doesn’t behave like that normally. Maybe he’s in one of his mood swings. He will just forget the whole thing when the shooting is over.

I feel uncomfortable as Jung Min ignored me during the whole shoot. Why is he so upset today? He was really okay in the morning wasn’t he? What now?

     “Are we having practices at night?” Leader hyung asks from manager.

     He goes through our schedule and nod. Argh!

     “You have to go to the studio at nine o’ clock”

     “We have only two hours left then”

     I glance at my phone clock. It’s almost seven. We have been shooting since noon. Ah I didn’t have any proper sleep for weeks. We even have recording sessions tomorrow. What if practices go until dawn? I want to sleep so badly.

     “Hyung Junah, come with me” Jung Min suddenly takes my hand.

     He takes me to our dressing room and closes the door behind us. I suddenly remember the fight between us. Does he want to continue it? Or is he going to apologize?

     “What?” I snap with an annoyed tone.

     “Look at your tone” He snaps back.

     “Why did we two come here?” I try to sound polite.

     “Manager told me you’re careless”

     “Careless?”

     “Yes. He told me that most of the time you’re late and play around and waste time”

     “But I’m always the one to arrive early”

     “Just don’t play around like the old days. Try to be more matured and serious will you? You aren’t eighteen anymore. You’re a grown up man”

     “Arasso, arasso” I try to end the conversation quickly.

     “You don’t even answer seriously. You’re always playful. This won’t work”

     “Ah arasso! I won’t play around anymore, I promise” I hold out my pinkie finger for him to seal the promise.

     “See you’re still acting like a kid”

     “Ah palli!” I poke him with my pinkie finger and a huge grin covers my face.

     “Ah Hyung Junnie you are too much” He locks his pinkie finger with mine and says.

     “Salangahe” I say with a teasing tone.

     “We have to go to the studio now”

     “De, de” I follow him to the set to meet up with the members.

     Staff is packing up the cameras and other stuff since the shooting is done for today. Leader hyung is discussing something  with manager hyung along with Young Seangah. We walk towards Kyu Jongah who’s sitting at the back. He gives both of us a very confused look. I give him a polite smile and in a millisecond Jung Min sits on the chair next to Kyu Jongah before I even get close. He’s such an idiot.

     “Ah I hate you” I snap at him and frown.

     “Poor baby” Kyu Jongah says and Jung Min laughs at me

     Jung Min is always picking up on me. He’s always like this. First he got a mood swing and I almost got into a serious fight with him and now he’s teasing me. Seriously how can he behave like this from second to second?

     My legs hurt from all the shooting and from standing up like this next to them for a while. My feet start to hurt like hell and I become dizzy since I’m too tired.

     “I want to sit down!” I scream at Jung Min.

     “Our poor maknae” He teases.

     “Ah c’mon, my legs hurt!” I scream again.

     He laughs out loud for a moment and pats on his thigh asking me to sit down. I quickly sit on his lap almost crushing him down.

     “Yah!” He shouts and I give him a grin.

     I start to feel good as I’m sitting down. But suddenly his mood swing comes into my mind once again. I decide to ask him about it.

     “Why did you shout at me earlier like that?” I whisper to him.

     My stomach suddenly turns upside down since I don’t know what reaction he might give? What if he gets angry again? .

     “You passed the limit” He whispers back.

     “But you never shout at anyone like that”

     “I always shout at you, don’t I?” He asks.

     “No you don’t!”

     “I don’t?”

     “Yes, you don’t. Your tone was really different. It hurts me a lot you know” I whisper in a very low tone.

     “Ah don’t take it that seriously Junnie”

     “But you were so different”

     “Mianhe” His voice breaks.

     Is he upset? Did I succeed? Our conversation turned out to be good than I thought. I hate seeing Jung Min upset though.

     “Ah forget it” I say and take his hands and roll them over my stomach.

     I wasn’t trying to make him upset. I just felt insecure.

     “Time to go kids” Manager shouts across the room.

     Five of us leave the set location and get into our van. I feel sleepy as soon as I sit down. I’m on a single seat. As members are all settled down on the seats, the van starts to let go of the brakes.

     We pass the closed street shops and dim street lights. It looks empty maybe because it’s the weekend. But Seoul’s never empty at night. It’s weird. Maybe because it’s the fall so people have become lazy like me. Haha, I’ve become really lazy in the past few months. Jung Min is right; I’m either playful or immature all the time and I don’t take anything seriously. I should change. I’m not a kid anymore nor am I a sixteen year old trainee. I’m going to change.

     The thought stamps on my mind. I don’t know whether I can but I will try.

     As the van goes through darkened empty streets my mind becomes dizzy. Members’ voices fade away. Everything starts to blur and I think, I think I fell asleep.

_________________________________________________________________________________________________________

            I sigh as I finish the story of the first day I noticed Jung Min’s strange behaviour. My mind is blank and I have nothing else to say. I quickly take the paper cup and swallow the water in a one breath. I feel like that my heart might jump out from my mouth. The painting I’ve been imagining in my mind gets destroyed just as someone has thrown black paint on it. I slowly lift up my head and look at Detective YuhJoon.

           His expression seems soft. Maybe he feels sorry towards me whom almost crying. I clear my throat and bring myself together and fight back my tears.

            “Hyung Jun-ssi, I think we should stop here for today”

            “For today?” My voice’s almost a whisper.

            “Ye. The information you’ve provided isn’t enough for us to find any motives for Jung Min-ssi to disappear”

            “Okay, that means I have to come again?”

            “Ye. Our team have decided that while we are doing our best to search for Jung Min-ssi, we’ll collect the whole story of his behaviour from the members and the staff and find the motives for him to disappear as I mentioned before”

            “You want to me to tell you the whole story until his disappearance?”

            “Ye”

            “Okay, I’ll try my best. When should I come again?”

            “I’ll give your manager a call. I hope he will contact you then”

            “Ye, ye he will”           

            “Geurom”

            “Ye” I bow to him and leave the room.

            Only manager and Kyu Jongah are left outside the questioning room. I don’t utter a single word to both of them but just pace through the hallway. I feel Kyu Jongah’s hand on my shoulder. I want to slide it away but maybe I really need someone right now.

            As we get into the van I decide to go to the back seat. I want to lie down and rest my mind. I feel like it’s going to explode in any second. My head is over flowing with pressure.

            Kyu Jongah comes and sits next to me on the other end of the seat. I immediately rest my head on his lap and lie myself down. He starts to send his fingers through my hair and slowly massages my head. I feel heavenly at once. I really need a friend and now only I realized that. Kyu Jongah is the best caretaker of me. I love him as an elder brother and also as a friend.

            But the only thing I struggle inside my mind is whether I can ever love anyone else more than I love the 'one in a million' friendhsip I have with Horse?