I finish half of the chicken soup Jung Min made me. It’s starting to get dark outside. I eye around the room to find him and catch him reading a book. Ah jinja! Why is he this boring?

            “Yah! Let’s play!” I shout across the room.

            “Play?” He gives me a confused look.

            “Yeah… you have your laptop right? Let’s play a game in it”

            “You go and play, I want to read this book” He says.

            I sigh.

            “Yah! Stop being so boring will you? Palli!”

            “You didn’t bring your laptop right? So how can both of us play a game in mine?”

            “Oh… makes sense” I look down.

            “I have a 360 under the TV if you would like?” He winks.

            “Mweo? 360? Jinja? Where did you get it?”

            I immediately stand up and rush to the living room.

            “My psychiatrist told me to buy it. Sometimes her son comes here and plays with me though I’m not into games that much” He shouts across the hall.

            “Oh arasso” I shout back opening the glass door of the TV chest.

            There are two joysticks placed next to the 360. I turn on the console and the TV grabbing the two joysticks.

            “Jung Minah, eriewa! Let’s play”

            “Ah Hyung Junah you’re such a annoyance” He comes and says giving me an evil face.

            “Ara” I grin hugely and grab his hand and make him sit down on the armchair in front of the TV.

            “So where are the games?” I ask.

            “They were right next to the joysticks, you didn’t see?”

            “Ah aniyo” I grin again and stand up.

            I grab the DVDs and sit down on the armchair again.

            “I still didn’t finish Sniper though” He says.

            “Let’s try a car game” I suggest.

            “I got Dirt”

            “Which?”

            “I think 2”

            “Daebak” I go through the DVDs to find the game.

            Jung Min takes the DVD from the case and inserts it to the Xbox. I switch to multiplayer mode and hand one joystick to Jung Min. After selecting the cars we wait till the game loads.

            “Let me win arasso?” I ask with a cute face.

            “Jeongmal?” He gives me a sympathetic look.

            I flash a huge smile at him and the corner of his lips curls into a smile.

            Thanks to Jung Min for being a lazy gamer I maintain the first place for a while in the game. But at the second lap Jung Min passes my car and I try my best to catch him up. He gives an evil laughter as he passes.

            “Ah yah!” I shout and speed up.

            As I reach his car I hit his trunk so it’ll swing. “Assa!” I shout.

            “Unfair” Jung Minnie growls.

            “I’m the game king yo” I say and speed up again.

            Jung Min comes from behind and tries to hit me on the trunk. I quickly turn the car and he takes the chance to pass me. Suddenly the door bell rings.

            “Chakkaman” Jung Min says and pause the game. “Must be ajhumma” He says and walks up to the door.

            “Ah Jung Minah, Kim Hyung Jun-ssi came in the mor-” She stops as she sees me.

            I quickly stand up and bow. “Annyeonghaseyo” I say.

            “Ah de” She slightly bows and gives Jung Minnie a confused look.

            “Genchana” He says and smiles at her.

            “Did you two eat?” She asks.

            “Hyung Junah ate some chicken soup a while ago; I didn’t have anything yet though”

            “I’ll make something then. What do you want?”   

            “Anything you like” He says.

            “I’ll make some rice then. You haven’t eaten rice from more than a week” She says and disappears to the kitchen.

            He gives me a smile as he sits down next to me. I realize what a huge guard he must have put in front of himself to make others literally freak out if he keeps contact with any of us. I wonder whether he really is happy with the fact that I’m here or he’s just putting up an act. What if he really doesn’t like it? Am I bothering him? Am I really being an annoyance?

            “Aren’t you going to play?” He hits me with his elbow.

            “Ah? Aniyo, resume the game” I quickly snap.

            He stares at me for a few seconds and resumes the game. He’s leading and I barely make an effort to catch him up.

            “Yah Hyung Junah!” He suddenly shouts.

            “Wae?” I ask.

            “You alright?”

            “Yep” I smile and turn to the game again.

            I should stop thinking nonsense. Look at him; he’s totally happy with me right now. Jung Min rarely hides and that’s why he left us that letter, it’s just typical Jung Min. He doesn’t like to lie or to hide. Though he wants to hide he’d always a find a way to reveal at least a tiny detail. If he’s really unhappy then he would have told me. I should just forget it.

            “I’m going to win” I whisper in a teasing tone and hit Jung Min’s car’s trunk once again.

            His car swings and hits a barrier outside the road. I coolly drive forward with an evil laughter.

            “Unfair okay?” He says again.

            “Welcome to gaming!” I say.

            “Yah this is not turning!” I eye his screen at the bottom; he’s struggling to turn but he keeps drifting.

            “Turn!” He shouts at the screen.

            “Aww poor mal” I say in a teasing tone.

            “Turn, you !” He shouts again and his tone becomes serious.

            “Yah don’t say that stuff, ajhumma is here nah” I whisper.

            “God I ing hate this! I hate all of this! Jinja!” He smashes the joystick on the ground.

            I startle with the sound.

            “Jung Minah!” I grab his arm.

            “What happened?” Ajhumma runs into the room; maybe she heard the sound.

            “He just…” I start but I pause.

            She looks around the room and catches the smashed joystick. She gives me a ‘is he angry?’ look and I nod.

            I look at Jung Min he’s starring down. In a second he pushes away my hand from his arm. My hand hits the armchair’s edge and it starts to hurt.

            “Appeo” I whisper.

            “I don’t give a !” He shouts at me.

            “Yah stop swearing!” I shout back.

            “Hyung Jun-ssi, please go out” Ajhumma says in a soft tone.

            I open to my mouth to say something but close it again. Why is it like this? I can’t even play a game with him now. I can’t stay beside him when he’s angry. I have to leave, I always have to leave.

            “Jung Minah I-” I softly grab his hand wanting to apologize.

            “Get that hand off of me!” He screams.

            “Hyung Jun-ssi please!”Ajhumma’s tone changes into a command.

            “Stop messing with my life Kim Hyung Jun!” He says.

            This is the second time I’ve heard him calling my full name after the first day we met. He never, ever calls me from that not even when he’s angry. So was I right? Am I really being a burden? Was he putting up an act all this time? Maybe he’s sick with the fact that I’m here?

            “Hyung Jun-ssi will you please leave?” Ajhumma shouts at me.

            I startle again. I look at Jung Minnie; he’s trembling with the anger. His fingers are curling around his hair. He looks like a time bomb which might go off any time soon. I slowly stand up.

            “Jung Minah…” I whisper.

            “Ga! I’m really pissed now so if you don’t want your teeth on the floor then just leave!”

            “I’m sorry” I finally apologize.

            “Ah shibal I asked you to leave goddammit!” He suddenly stands up smashing my joystick which was next to him on the chair.

            I immediately step back. His eyes turn red and he starts sweating to the point that his whole shirt becomes wet. Suddenly the ajhumma grabs my arm and pulls me back. Is he going to hit me again?

            My blood rushes through my veins and my stomach turns upside down. I eye Jung Min carefully. He starts panicking like shaking and moving. He blinks uncontrollably as if he can’t understand or interpret what’s happening. His mouth slowly opens and he starts taking deep breaths. His fingers squeeze his hair hurting them. I can see it from his eyes; he’s hurting his own self.

            “Jung Minah clam down” I slowly whisper.

            He growls at me flashing his reddened eyes. How did he get to this point? A little impossibility to turn a car in a game and in a millisecond he has turned into a devil? How did he get angry over such a little thing? I should have just not done that! But I always tease Jung Min and he never gets this angry. Yes he’s different now but this much?

Jung Min starts moving; he doesn’t walk but just move here and there. He looks around like searching for something. His hands are trembling, his whole body is trembling. He suddenly paces to the cupboard with the ornaments. He smashes them on the ground at once with a one slide. The sound echoes in the room and I jump two steps back.

            “Aaaahhhh” He suddenly screams squeezing his hair again.

            “Jung Minah” I shout.

            He doesn’t give a about my voice but continue to walk around looking for things to smash. He suddenly grabs a table lamp and throws it at my side in a speed of a bolt. I immediately bend and it flies over my head and hit the wall. I stay bended; I can’t bring myself to move. He did the same thing again, the same thing that he promised he won’t do again. He wanted to hit me! He’s… so changed. My Jung Min has changed so much.

            My tears fade and I step into reality as ajhumma pulls me up in a second. She suddenly runs to him and grab him turning both his hands behind his back. She struggles with him to make him still but he keeps shaking and moving. I step forward to help her hold him but…

            “Run to the kitchen! On the counter there’s a black box at the corner. Grab the yellow bottle and a syringe palli!” She orders at me.

            I give her a confused look.

            “RUN!” She screams.

            I quickly run to the kitchen. I can’t even see anything right now. Why a syringe? Is she going to inject something to him? But why? I run to the middle of the kitchen and turn around and around searching for a box. I hear another smash sound.

            “Palli!” Ajhumma shouts and her voice breaks.  

            “Ah molla!” I say to myself but then I suddenly catch the black box.

            I immediately rush to it and make the whole box a mess searching for the bottle. I grab a syringe and the bottle as soon as I find it and run to the living room again.

            She’s holding Jung Min against a wall like he’s some prisoner. My eye starts tearing up again.

            “Put the medicine into the syringe and don’t touch the needle!” She commands again.

            “Eh?” I snap.

            “Palli hae! And inject it to his neck” She shouts.

            What?