After dealing with the heavy traffic, we finally arrive at Jung Min’s apartment. He kept asking from the members of how the media is dealing with this and Hyun Joong hyung ignored his question every time it was raised. He doesn’t want Jung Min to have another burden on his head because media is clearly not in a good status regarding this matter anyway. And as usual he was asking about the fans but it was his request from us that we cannot disclose anything so yeah, nobody knows obviously.

      “Are we going to look for a hotel online?” Young Saeng hyung asks while getting off the cab.

      “We can buy some airbeds I guess. And we can arrange the visitors-room or somewhere to sleep” I say something completely different to what we agreed earlier.            

      “Huh?” He asks and I say nothing back.

       If they want to stay in a hotel, it’s possible but why waste money like that? Not like they can stay in some cheap hotel either.

      Oh well, a cheap hotel might be better than my airbed idea though.

      “If you want us to stay here then you better let me sleep on the master bed” Hyun Joong hyung turns to Jung Min. “Next to this horse, right here”

      Jung Min gives hyung a deadly glance and shakes his head.

      “Look, we woke up so early for this plane which is terribly scheduled. Seriously who set these time-lines? So out of this world. And they don’t even have proper films in there. It was such a boring flight and the seats were too close to each other so my long legs had no space either.” Hyung says taking the luggage out of the trunk. “However, my point is, I need to rest comfortably so I need a good bed”

      “You are so selfish” I complain.

      I don’t want to sleep in an airbed.

      “Look who’s talking! Stingy person, not even letting us stay in a goddamn hotel” He slaps my head.

      “Fine, fine. Go buy some rooms in a luxury hotel and waste a ton of money” I throw my uninjured hand in the air and back off from the argument.

      “No, no. I decided that since you came up with this magnificent idea of sleeping on airbeds, we should take it into action” Hyung sends an arm around my shoulder.

      Thankfully it doesn’t hurt.

      “Let’s go buy some!” He grins at me sarcastically.

      “Childish” Jung Min mumbles while passing us towards the entrance of the apartment building.

      “Yah!” Hyung shouts from behind. “There’s only one child here, and that’s Hyung Jun” He gives me another grin.

      I roll my eyes at him and try to pull myself back. My shoulder starts hurting. I become still.          

      “We’ll take the luggage upstairs then. Hyung Junnie can’t lift anything anyway” Kyu Jongah says picking up two bags.

      “Yeah, thanks to me” Jung Min mumbles again.

      I get the urge to smack the hell out of him for blaming himself over and over again but then again when I put myself in his shoes; if I had done something like this, I wouldn’t let it go either I think. He needs his own space, he needs just another moment free from advices and therapy. He’s trying his best to deal with this but the only thing holding him back is the fact that it’s actually getting worse.

      “Where did you get lost?” Leader hyung asks, playfully shaking my shoulder.

      The pain brings me back into reality. I groan and shrug so that he’d take his arm off.

      “Did I hurt you?” He immediately lifts his arm.

      “Aniyo, genchana” I smile.

      “Mmm… Let’s go buy your king size beds”

      “Right…that” I nod hesitatingly turning myself around, letting Jung Min disappear from my sight.

Hyun Joong hyung and I go to a home-ware store in the same cab we came from the airport. Neither of us is talking about anything through the whole way. I’m drowned in my world full of worries and hyung is just playing a game in his two-centuries-old mobile phone.          I lean my head to the shutter and let my mind go blank.

      Someone shakes my shoulder. “Hyung Junah, wake up. We are here” I hear Hyun Joong hyun’s voice.

      I remember I was seeing a dream but I don’t remember what it was. After rubbing my eyes to shake off the sleepiness from myself, I get off from the cab. Hyung asks the driver to wait till we come back. He politely nods and pulls the vehicle into the car park.

      I suddenly miss driving. I used to drive around by myself whenever I felt like it. But ever since I got here, I’m either walking or being driven around by someone else. It’s like an empty space in my mind but well... I’m not here to have fun either. This is not a vacation.

      “Junah, why you keep getting frozen?” Hyung asks tapping my head with his knuckles.               

      “Huh?” I raise my eyebrows at him.

      “Why aren’t you coming in?”

      “Ah, I-I am” I mumble and start walking towards the door.

      “What’s on your mind all the time? You were frozen near Jung Min’s apartment and now here too. What do you think about all the time?”

      “Nothing. Just... stuff” I give him a smile and enter the shop.

      The place looks magnificent. It’s filled with so much interior furniture. I catch a perfectly-looking comfortable bed at the corner and quickly pace to it.

      “Hyung, isn’t this great?” I ask throwing myself onto the bed with a loud thump.

      “Yah!” Hyung sprints towards me.    

      “This looks nice too” I sit down on the chair next to the bed.

      Its back-rest is higher than my height. People really design weird stuff. But it looks nice though.

      “Yah! This isn’t your playground. Get up. We got to find air-beds soon and leave” Hyung pulls me up from my uninjured arm.

      I mae an annoyed groan and follow him. We scan the whole first floor but there was not a single air-bed in sight. I see an assistant-lady passing by and I quickly prepare my English.

      “Where are the air-beds?” I ask.

      She gives me a warm smile and asks us to follow her; seems like it’s in the second-floor. The most exciting part about the shop is that there’s no escalator. I see a bunch of stairs that leads to the second floor. How am I supposed to go through this, now?

      Hyun Joong hyung and I exchange a look. “Stay here. I’ll go” He says pointing a pillar next to me.

      I lean myself to the pillar and wait for hyung to come back. Unintentionally I stare into the wall far across the room without having anything in my mind. After a while my phone rings.

      “Yeah?” I pick it up.

      “Ah, Junah” Kyu Jong speaks from the other end.

      His voice sounds surprised and confused. My body warms up with the nervousness. Has something happened? Has Jung Min done something? I tightly close my eyes to prepare myself for whatever I will have to hear.

      “What is it?”I ask with a very low voice.

      “I think...” He pauses. I take a heavy breath. He then speaks again. “Ah milk is over. Bring some! Oh and ramyeon too. Young Saeng hyung is nagging saying he doesn’t want to cook after a flight. But well I can cook if you want so if you want something specific, bring the ingredients”

      I mumble a thank god without letting Kyu Jonggie hear it. So he was just going through the refrigerator I guess. Why do people need to scare me so much? I realize that I have been holding my breath all this time. I sigh loudly with relief.

      “Arasso. Let’s just eat rice. I’ll bring stuff for side dishes” I say in a dull voice.

      Even though Kyu Jongah’s voice sounded excited at the last sentence, I couldn’t match up to that. I guess I’m still numb with the scare I got. He hangs up and I shove the phone into my pocket and stare into the wall back again. I imagine half a dozen situations that can happen back at Jung Min’s house. What if he suddenly loses his temper? Young Saeng hyung and Kyu Jonggie will be so shocked. But I’m sure Kyu Jong will understand the situation and not argue with him like I usually do.

      Oh well, look where I ended up after arguing. I honestly can’t even start to imagine the guilt Jung Min must be carrying in his mind.

      First of all our band promotions stopped and we had to give up our preparations for the new album. I had to sneak into Singapore without letting anyone know. We had to lie a lot. And then I kept getting injured or scolded by him. Members got scolded for lying. And then they had to come here after giving up everything. Well, the list goes on actually. Jung Min must be dying inside.

      If I’m feeling like this due to this situation I wonder what he feels while being the person who’s the reason behind it all. There’s no way I can make up for him either because what happened has already happened. None of us can turn back time. And there’s honestly no way for any of us to make Jung Min feel less guilty either.

                “Wake up!” Suddenly Hyun Joong hyung hits my back and I startle.

                “Ah hyung... did you find the air-beds?” I ask.

                He nods staring at me with narrowed eyes. I think my dozing-off from time to time must have started annoying him now. But I can’t help it. There are so many things going inside my mind but sharing them with someone out loud won’t do any better either. I’m in no position to make any change.

                “Kyu Jongah asked us to bring some milk and other food if we want to cook something” I say while we wait near the cashier counters.

                “Let’s buy some potatoes and stuff then. Is there any meat at home?”

                “Not sure. Have to ask that from Jung Min. Ahjumma might have bought some earlier though”

                “Let’s buy some beef anyway”

                I nod and walk with him to the car park to find our cab. The air-bed bags seem heavy and I feel bad for having hyung carry them all by himself. Why do I always lack of doing something for someone? I sigh and get into the cab first. Hyung throws the bags into the back of the cab and climbs in.

I ask the cab driver to take us to a supermarket. He nods. Thank god he can understand what I say. Hyung occupies himself with his cell-phone once again. I lean myself to the shutter just like before. The cab pulls into the road. I guess both of us won’t talk about anything again till we arrive. 

________________________________________________________________________________________________________

I'm sorry that I didn't update in months... I'm near to finshing my university second year so there's a lot I need to do.. Because of the rude hiatus, I posted two chapters at once. But originally I was supposed to post this chapter like a week ago but I forgot to back up Persona when I restored my computer so, I lost the data. Had to write it over again. However, here's the new chapter.. and another xD Enjoy and thank you for staying.