I sigh and carefully lie down on the bed and wait for Jung Min. I idly wonder whether omma knows that I’m hurt or not. Better not to tell her right now if she doesn’t; she’ll panic for no reason and storm in anyway. I don’t think Jung Min is in a mood for visitors. He even sent ajhumma home and I still don’t know who bandaged me. Maybe him? Or ajhumma?

                Ah a lot of questions to ask. I make a ‘tsk’ sound and stare outside the window. I hear a sudden scream. My head immediately turn at the door.

                Jung Minah?

                “What happened?” I shout; still lying on the bed.

                I get no response. “Jung Minah?” I shout again, still nothing but silence.

                I grab the headboard above my head and lift myself. My shoulders sting and I scrunch my face to bear through it. I manage to stumble out of the bed quickly this time. As soon as I’m on my feet I limp hurriedly to the hallway. I look around but I can’t see him anywhere.

                “Jung Minah?” I call out again.

                Nothing.

                I place my hand on the wall to support myself as I limp through the living room into the dining, then into the kitchen. I look around. The sight makes my mouth drop. I gasp.

                I try to speak but I can’t mumble anything. A vision struck me; the dream. No the nightmare I had. Everything falls into my head image by image as I see him lying there on the floor; struggling for life in a pool of blood, for real. His eyes half open, barely breathing as his hand tightly holding the knife that’s stabbed into his stomach.

                “Ah…” He makes a sound as he tries to catch his breath.

                I just stand there watching him for a moment until I come back to my senses. My eyes widen and I push myself at him. My knees bend on their own next to him; on the blood.

                “Jung-” I can’t even say his name.

                He glances at me; slowly. My eyes start tearing and my vision turns blur. I slide my hand onto his free hand and hold it tightly. He tries to speak but instead his pain turns into groans. Then the hand holding the knife falls down. I let go of his hand for a moment actually trying to take the knife out of him. My hands start shaking as I move them over to the knife.

                But this isn’t a mirror piece; this isn’t a mirror piece he’s holding. This is a knife; a knife that’s stabbed into him. How am I supposed to-

                “What have you done?” I ask through light sobs.

                I’m too shocked to cry out loud. I take my hand back as he tries to smile at me.

                “What have you done?” I ask again so loud.

                He can’t manage his words. He finally smiles and searches for my hand. I quickly grab and lift it to my lips. I sob into his hand, like he earlier did with mine.

                “Wae Jung Minah? Wae?” I cry.

                “I-I-I can’t… Junah” He whispers.

                “I promised you! I promised you! And you; you promised me!” I say through my tears.       

                Then it hits me that at a moment like this I shouldn’t be crying. I should be calling for an ambulance. What am I even doing?

                I let go of his hand again and try to sit up. “I have to call for emergency” I say wiping off my tears.

                But he grabs my hand; his touch itself feels weary.

                “Let me… go… Hyung Junah” His voice breaks as he coughs.

                “No!” I shout at him and stand up pushing off his hand.

                I limp to the telephone in the kitchen. There’s a notebook next to it. I have new blood on my hand; again. But I don’t care about that right now. I quickly turn through the pages and notice contact numbers written on it. The very first is ajhumma and the second, the doctor.

                My shaky hand picks up the receiver and I dial the doctor’s number so fast that I, myself am surprised that I didn’t make any mistake. I wait for her to answer as I eye Jung Min. He slightly shakes his head at me; he can’t talk. He coughs again and his hand move on to the knife. I open my mouth to say something but I’m frozen.

                He moves the knife, not out but in. He gives me a threatening look and groans as it carves into him more and more.

                “Yeobeoseyo” The doctor answers.

                But I’m not able to say anything. Jung Min is blackmailing me. No I don’t want him to hurt himself anymore. I throw the receiver onto the kitchen counter and kneel beside him again taking off his hand from the knife.

                “Ah… ah” He clenches his teeth.

                “Jung Minah… jebal, geumanhaja” I whisper.

                Geumanhaja;  The word I’ve been saying since the start. Every time he goes out of control I say it, it has no effect now. That I know every well.

                He shakes his head and tightly closes his eyes. “Aaaaaahhh…” He screams.

                “I’m going to take this out of you” I say trying to hold the knife but he pushes my hand away.

                “It’ll…. it’ll hurt… me” He can barely whisper. “More…” He sighs.

                “Why did you do this? Why? Weren’t my promises enough?” I ask looking into his eyes.

                He closes them softly denying me.

                “Then why? I told you! I can’t live without you; my best friend! I can’t. Why did you? Why did you have to do this? I… I asked you to return”

                “Ara…” He breathes the word.

                I try to say something again but he holds my hand and tightly shakes it. As if… as if he was…

                “Jung Minah… no! I can’t lose you! No I’m calling the doctor again. Don’t touch that damn knife” I say trying to get up.

                My shoulder pain isn’t there anymore instead my heart hurts. But Jung Min doesn’t let go of my hand. He keeps holding onto it silently telling me he won’t listen to me. I can’t leave him, I can’t stay with him. The ing choice do I have here now?

                “Jebal” I whisper.

                He starts shaking. His whole body shakes and he groans loudly. I cup his face. My mind fights with my sub-conscious. My mind wants him to stay and my sub-conscious wants him to let go. This isn’t my fight; this is his. He has to win it or lose it. I don’t have a choice. It’s too late now.

                “Jung Minah you can’t…” As I mouth the words he stops shaking.

                His screams, his groans, his non-stop blinking, his everything; they all stop. He stops. Right in front of my eyes Park Jung Min’s heart stops beating.

                I stay there with my eyes widened for a moment grasping the situation. It isn’t easy to believe but I know it isn’t a déjà vu, it’s the truth. He’s…

                Is he gone? Really?

                “Jung Minah!!!” I scream and pull his head onto my lap.

                “Come back! Come back!” I shout at him.

                My tears washing away the blood marks I made on his forehead earlier. “You can’t leave me! Come back! Jung Minah come back! Jung Minah! Jung Minah you rascal! Jung Min-”

Someone shakes me; shouting my name loudly into my ear. I immediately open my eyes. Jung Min keeps repeating my name shaking my shoulders. The pain takes over.

                “Ah!” I curl my eyebrows.

                “Hyung Junah wake up! Why are you shouting my name? Wake up Junnie!” He says; this time in a low voice.

                I keep staring at Jung Min as if I was seeing a ghost.

                “Oh my god you are sweating! What happened?” He says wiping off my forehead sweat.

                “I…I…” My words are trapped inside.

                “I brought medicine for your hands” He says sitting beside me.

                I blink a several times to confirm the…reality? Reality; this is reality?

                “You just…” I say but I skip the word; died.

                “I just… what?” He asks back, in his witty tone.

                “I saw you…” My vision blurs again as I speak.

                “You saw a dream? Of me?” He raises his eyebrows.

                I nod breaking off our eye-contact.

                I lift my hand and slowly slide it to his side. His thigh touches my hand and I take it back in a millisecond. He’s… alive?

                He’s alive! It was a dream. No a nightmare… again.

                “Thank god” I finally speak properly as I’m relieved.

                “No! Thank me! At least I woke you up from the dream or whatever you saw” He says slapping my hand.

                It hurts; the slap. It’s another confirmation for me to believe the reality.

                “You’ve been sleeping for so many hours now. Junah why do you sleep so much?” He asks in an annoyed tone.

                “Molla” I say in my usual ‘the-way-I-talk-to-Jung-Min’ tone.

                Little, little things keep confirming me that it was all just another nightmare and nothing else. Part of me is happier than anything but that sub-conscious; it pity Jung Min. It pity the way he’s suffering, it pity everything he has been through and sympathy; the thing that Jung Min hates starts coming into me. I shake my head brushing off my thoughts.

                I don’t want to sympathy him, or look at him as a sick person. He’s Jung Min           , the strong pillar of our friend circle. Honestly a part of me wishes if I had that strength which he holds inside.

                “Hyun Joong hyung called” He says; something completely different to what I was thinking.

                “Jinja?”I immediately ask.

                “They’ll be here tomorrow” He says and sighs.

                “Wae you upset then?” I ask with so many doubts.

                “Just… I gave you guys enough trouble already” He looks away.

                “Members want to see you. You ain’t going to be the one troubling them, instead they’ll be the ones to trouble you for the upcoming days” I say and let out a little laugh.

                “Possible” He says in a proud tone.

                “Rascal” I whisper.

                “Turtle” He whispers back in the same tone I used.

                I grin at him. He grins back. My whole world becomes stable again. Insecurities fade away and… I feel like I’m actually winning this battle; the battle against reality and my belief. I’m not so sure about it yet but it doesn’t harm to keep a little bit of a hope anyway.

                “Let me put medicine to your hand now. You’ve slept enough, it’s the morning already” He says and I look around.

                The sky outside seems dark blue and I hear a bird chirping.

                “Wait… members are coming today, since it’s today now” He laughs.

                “Oh… okay” My tone’s questioning.

                “Ah molla, molla. They’ll just call when they are here”

                “Excited to see them?” I ask.

                “Well…in a way, yes. But I’m still worried you know. Not sure how they’ll adapt into this situation. You were freaked out in the beginning. You wanted to leave at some point. Maybe they might too” He sighs.

                “Yah!” I slap his hand this time. “They are members! Not some strangers who can’t deal with usual Jung Min and y Jung Min” I tease.

                “Did you just say y?” He asks back; but I notice the humour in his tone.

                “Yes I did, so what?” I ask proudly.

                “Give me the freaking hand” He growls and pulls my wrist.

                I giggle but I immediately stop. He smiles from the corner of his mouth. He performs a biting gesture at me, shakes his head and grabs the anti-septic wipes.

                As he cleans my wounds from his hurt hands, my eyes keep locked on his caring fingers.

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haha was that a roller coaster? ^_^ lol sorry for that.. and HEY I MADE A FANVID FOR PERSONA.. okay sorry for the caps.. I just did the vid for fun.. You guys can check it out if you like through here ->  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PKGklkEx8Os ... it isn't a trailer for the story, just a fanvid.. enjoy and thanks for reading ^^