Omma’s visa arrived on the mentioned date. Thank god for not delaying it anymore, I just can’t wait to see him. Tomorrow’s our flight, early in the morning. Omma took me home with her as she was worried that we might forget something if we stay at the dorm tonight. After packing everything I go to take a wash.

            Millions of things flood in my mind under the hot shower. I imagine different, different reactions of Jung Min when I meet him. I don’t know what he would do. He might really hit me, again. Aish I don’t know! I don’t want him to hit me. I’m doing this much for him and all he can do is hit me? This kid!

            “Hyung… omma asked whether you have anything else to pack because she’s going to sleep” Kibumah asks outside the washroom.

            “Ani… tell her to sleep” I reply back.

            “Arasso” His voice fades.

            I quickly shower myself as I don’t want to be sleepy tomorrow at the airport. Members and manager hyung told me that they’ll come to the airport tomorrow. Oh how I wish at least one of them would be able to go. Then I won’t be this scared. Two of us can handle things well than me being alone with a new Jung Min.

            I jump onto the bed after the shower and cover myself with the blanket. It’s warm in my room. I close my eyes curling myself to sleep.

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            “Hyung Junah…” I hear someone calling my name.

            It takes me a second to recognize the voice.

            “Jung Minah! Jung Minah neo eodiya?” I shout.

            Everything is white around me. I can’t see an end. It’s like I’m trapped in the infinite. My head starts to feel dizzy. I slowly sit down and call him again.

            “Jung Minah neo eodiya? Ah stop hiding and come palli!”

            “Hyung Junah…” I hear him whispering next to my ear.

            “Jung Minah!” My mouth slips the word unknowingly seeing the sight in front of me.

            He’s lying there in the middle of a pool of blood. He’s coughing and more blood stream down his cheeks. He holds out his hand for me.

            “Jung Minah what is this? What happened? Why are you like this?” I blabber fast.

            “Hyung Junah… go” He says.

            “What do you mean by go? What happened to you?” I snap.

            “Go away Hyung Junah it’s not safe here”

            “What nonsense are you talking about?”

            “Ga! Hyung Junah, ga!” His voice rises.

            I curl my eyebrows not being able to understand what’s happening. In a millisecond he starts to fade away. He’s disappearing… once again.

            “Andwae!” I shout as loud as I can.

_______________________________________________________________________

I’m wide awake sitting on my bed, covered with sweat. Was that a dream? I sigh. Why did I see something like that? Why was Jung Minnie covered in blood? Has something happened to him? Maybe he’s in danger? I start to sweat more.

            “Hyung what happened?” Kibumah barges into my room slam opening the door.

            “I saw a weird dream” I whisper.

            “What did you see?”

            I briefly explain him what happened. He frowns with a confused expression.

            “It’s just a dream hyung. Go to sleep” He pats my shoulder and stands up.

            I suddenly start to feel scared as he gets up. I don’t want to be alone.

            “Sleep here for tonight will you?” I ask.

            “Ah jinja, you’re such a kid!” He snaps but sits down.

            “Move now!” He adds.

            I give him a huge grin and move towards the wall. I cover ourselves with my blanket and turn to the side of the wall and close my eyes. Please god, please don’t show me a dream like that again. I don’t want to see such harsh things. I’ve already gone through enough. Even a dream seems like a reality to me now. I just don’t want to see them!

            “Ah uljima” Kibumah whispers from behind.

            I didn’t even realize that I’m sobbing.

            “Yah…” He pats my shoulder in a rhythm.

            “Mmm…” I murmur and force myself to sleep.

I hug members before I check in. I notice Kyu Jongah’s tears, Young Saeng hyung’s raspberry red eyes but most of all I notice Hyun Joong hyung’s stiff expression. He’s pursing his lips as hard as he can to stop himself from crying. I don’t know why he always holds back his tears.

            “Hyung, na kanda” I hug Hyun Joong hyung.

            “Mmm” Even his murmur breaks in the middle.

            “Take care of yourself okay?” He says hugging me back.

            I feel my shoulders getting wet from his tears. My strong hyung is crying. How can I hold it back now?

            “Hyung uljima” I say but my voice is almost a whisper.

            “Paboya” Kyu Jonggie pulls me to him and hugs me tight.

            I start crying loudly. I don’t want to leave them. I don’t want to go alone.

            “Hyung Junah… be safe okay?” Young Saeng hyung hugs both me and Kyu Jonggie.

            I nod and hide my face in Kyubbi’s arms.

            “Hyung Junah…” Manager hyung calls me.

            “Hyung…” I turn to his side.

            “Bring him back… geurae?” He holds out his pinky.

            “Hyung…” I lose words.

            I burst out crying and Kyubbi holds me. Manager hyung comes and tangle his pinky with mine.

            “Yagsog hyung” I whisper through my sobs.

            “Hyung Junah, gaja” Omma takes my hand.

            I let go of members’ hands and manager hyung’s sorrowful gaze. I feel nervous, numb and awful inside. Kibumah gives me a hug and fix my messed up hair.

            “Hyung be careful… don’t eat unhealthy stuff okay? Omma teach him to behave nicely” He says trying to cheer up my mood.

            “Pabo” I punch him on his arm and walk towards the check in counters.

I feel surprisingly nervous and scared as the plane starts moving. I’m not easily scared at planes as I’ve travelled since I was small. But this time it’s really scary and my stomach turns upside down. I think I might vomit.

            “Omma, I don’t feel good” I whisper to her.

            “What is it? are you feeling sick?” She asks.

            “Mmm… I think I want to vomit”

            “But you can’t walk when the plane is moving, should I ask for some container?”

            Maybe I should just hold it in. I don’t want some news to spread saying *SS501’s Kim Hyung Jun vomits in the plane*

            “Aniya, genchana” I say.

            “Are you sure? Don’t hold it in if you really want to because when the plane takes off you’ll be sicker”

            “Ani, ani… genchana” I say gulping.

            I gulp a countless times to stop myself from vomiting.

            “You never felt sick on planes before nah” Omma shouts over the plane’s noise.

            “Ah molla” I shake my head.

            I feel like some force pushing my stomach to jump out from my throat. I hate this feeling. I just want this to end soon.

            The plane starts taking off and I stare outside the window trying to forget about the nausea. It doesn’t help. I think I really want to vomit now.

            “Omma…” I shake her hand.

            “Aigo the air hostesses are on their seats. I told you before nah… Aigo” She goes through her handbag to find something for me to vomit.

            I’m trying my best to stop this. Omma probably don’t have anything for me to vomit. I gulp again and again. I tightly close my eyes and lean toward my seat to stop that force. I feel it, it’s this close to jump out but I have to endure this. I have to stop it.

            “Here, is this okay?” Omma asks holding out my owl water bottle with the wide neck.

            I can’t vomit in that! It’s my favourite water bottle and even there are sweet owls printed around it.

            “Not in that!” I snap and push the bottle away and shake my head.

            “Stop with the nonsense and just vomit!” She scolds.

            Aigo… I don’t want to vomit in that. I gulp and omma holds out the bottle again.

            The feeling of nausea gets strong as I see the bottle because my mind knows there’s something that I can vomit right now. Holding it in might make this worse… that means I’m going to ruin my water bottle. How can I ever drink from it again? Eww…

            I don’t have a choice. I grab the bottle and lock my mouth in its opening. I vomit making sure no sound comes. I really don’t want anyone to know, this is such an embarrassment. Ah Jung Minah, you rascal! This is all because of you! I swear if I see any news spreading about my vomiting I won’t spare you! I really won’t, you horse!

            “Better?” Omma asks as I finish.

            “Here wash your mouth” She adds holding out her water bottle at me.

            As I’m done omma takes the owl water bottle from me and keeps it with her. God I don’t know how she does that? I won’t even touch that.

            As soon as the seatbelt icon disappears omma goes into the washroom with the bottle.

            After she comes I go and wash my mouth completely in the washroom. I don’t want any vomit in my mouth, eww…

            “I can’t believe I vomited in my water bottle” I say pouting my lips.

            “Aigo… how old are you huh? Anyway are you feeling better now?” Omma purse her lips at me and check whether I have fever with her hand on my forehead and neck.

            “Here take this and wipe your face, you’ll feel fresh” She hands me her wet lemon face wipes.

            “Mmm… arasso” I do am I’m told.

            “Sleep a little bit now, we got nearly six hours on air nah” She says patting my head.

            I nod at her and close my window blind.

            As soon as I close my eyes the dream I saw before pops up in my mind. My eyes automatically open. I don’t want to sleep. I don’t want to sleep again until I see Jung Minah with my eyes. I’m scared and I don’t know why I saw that dream. What if something has happened to him?

            “Omma… Jung Minnie must be okay right?” I whisper.

            “Don’t worry. You’ll see him soon” She ruffles my hair and fixes it.

            “I’m scared”

            “I know, I know” She whispers back rubbing my cheek.

            “Sleep now” She pulls my face towards her shoulder and let it rest there.

            I feel more comfortable on her shoulder, more secured and safe. I slowly close my eyes, wishing I won’t see a dream like that again. A weary feeling hits me forcing me to sleep. I wish I will see him tomorrow. I really want to! I’m taking a morning flight today because then the first thing I can do tomorrow morning is go and see him. I don’t care how early I will have to wake up; I would wake up and hurry to see him. I really hope he’ll be there, until I come, until I see him again.

            Jung Minah don’t go anywhere arasso? I’m coming, I’m really coming!