“Yah! We can’t hide this from the police! Neo michchaseo?” Manager hyung shouts.

                “Buy hyung if we tell the police then they’ll just fly to Singapore the next minute” Hyun Joong hyung says.

                “That’s what should happen, pabo! We have to give every evidence and information we find in this case to the police. The detective asked us not to hide anything from him”

                “Then they’ll bring him here”

                “So isn’t that good?” Manager hyung asks.

                Now I regret telling about this to manager hyung. We should have hid it from him too. But then, how are we going to Singapore without his help? Not like we can just fly away without informing the company. Aish Jinja!

                “Can’t we go alone and find him?” Young Saeng hyung asks.

                “I don’t think that taking a whole police team will make Jung Min very pleased” Kyu Jongah says.

                “But this is not a joke. This is a police case. If you guys don’t want the police to find out about Jung Min then you shouldn’t have reported to the police in the first place!” Manager hyung sounds angry.

                “Hyung, you know Jung Min well. He will forgive us in some way if only we would go and find him but taking police and also that crazy detective, that’s not going to work” I say.

                “I’m in charge here! Not you! So whatever I decide is final” Manager hyung says.

                “But he’s our friend!” Hyun Joong hyung shouts. “Our member!” He adds.

                Manager hyung sighs loudly. I feel bad for putting manager hyung in such a position. Obviously the company is going to oppose to the decision of us going to Singapore without a reason. Manager hyung will have to come up with thousands of lies to make that happen, but it’s not sure at all. I know hyung is disagreeing not because he doesn’t want Jung Min to be happy but because this is a whole procedure. I stare at him. He’s looking down at his hands saying nothing. He’s taking deep breaths. I slowly pinch Kyu Jongah and point at manager hyung with my eyes.

                “Hyung, Mianhe” Kyu Jongah whispers.

                “Ah why do you need to apologize?... I just don’t know what to do kids. I know Jung Min will be furious if we take all this police team to him. He might even run away again. But what can I do? Even I’m under the company. I can’t take any decision about the group by myself. CEO and the board have to agree. But getting their approval to something like this is impossible. At least getting our chief’s approval is impossible” Manager hyung says with a low tone.

                He sounds very upset. I try to find some way to make this happen but nothing comes to my mind. We are all stuck. We all want to find Jung Minnie but we just can’t take the police there. He even asked us not to look for him so if he sees all this mess, he’s totally going to get furious. He even has an uncontrollable anger now. He’ll be hurt occasionally at us for not keeping the promise.  

                “What if the doctor tells the detective that she gave the address to us? The detective will go crazy” Kyu Jongah says.

                “I’ll ask her not to tell him. Wait I’ll call her and come. Until then, think about some way to make this happen” Manager hyung says and leaves the room.

                “What if we say something like we need some vacation?” Hyun Joong hyung says.

                “That’s a good idea! Then they might give us permission” I say.

                “You think that the company will let us leave the country in a moment like this? I’m really not sure about that” Young Saeng hyung says.

                “Both the police and the company think that Jung Min is still in here, Seoul but no one knows he’s in Singapore. So they won’t let us leave the country at all” Kyu Jongah says.       

                “Yeah, yeah. You’re right” Leader hyung sighs.

                I don’t think we can come up with any solution at all” I sigh too.

                Manager hyung comes back.

                “I called her. She said she won’t tell anyone and asked you kids not to worry about Jung Min. She said he can return soon so asked us to be patient” He says.

                “Patient? I want to see Jung Minnie! Patient my !?” I snap in anger.

                “Yah!” Manager hyung shouts back at me.

                “Hyung, we can’t come up with any idea. Please help us” Young Saeng hyung asks.

                “This is not easy as you think” He replies.

                Otteoke? Is there no way of finding him? At least one? There are five people here and none can come up with a solution! What if we really tell this to the police and try to get permission to go there alone, just the five of us? Will that work?

                “Hyung, will we be able to get permission from police and the company to go there alone? I ask.

                “Impossible!” Hyung snaps.

                “Then what are we going to do?” I ask again.

                “I think I have an idea” Hyung’s expression brightens up.

                “Mwo?” We all ask.

                “I think I’ll be able to get permission for one member” Hyung says in an unsure tone.

                “One member?” Hyun Joong hyung asks.

                “Obviously the company is not going to let all the four of you to leave the country and that’s also to Singapore only. They’ll surely be suspicious on why all of you are leaving to Singapore for a vacation and that’s also in the middle of this mess” Manager hyung says.

                “Yeah, yeah fair enough” Leader hyung sighs.

                “If we come up with some reason like a member’s parents want to take them away for a vacation or something then that might work. The company will consider that request”

                “Are you sure? What if they tell us not to leave the country because of the police case?” I ask.

                “Company will respect a parent’s decision. After all you’re still kids”          Hyung says.

                “Hmm…”

                “So who are we going to send?” Young Saeng hyung asks.

                “I think it’s good to send our maknae. The company knows that he even fell sick because of this so it’ll be reasonable if we suggest him. It’s kinda possible right that his mother wants him to have some peace of a mind?” Manager hyung asks.

                “Fair enough hyung” Kyu Jongah says.

                “I want to go too” Leader hyung says in a disappointed tone.

                “Hyung Joongah try to understand. I know you want to see Jung Minnie but this is all for him too right? We all want him to be happy” Manager hyung rubs leader hyung’s hand.

                Leader hyung nods in disappointment. I’m secretly having a party inside my mind thinking that I’ll be able to see Jung Minnie soon but I feel bad for members too. I want them to come with me at a time like this. I sigh.

                “Hyung Junah, go and call omma now” Manager hyung says and I get up.               

Manager hyung and I walk through the hallway to the meeting room. As I enter the room, chief hyung comes and rubs my shoulder.

                “Hyung Junah, genchana?” He asks and I nod at him.

                “Annyeounghaseyo” I bow at CEO and the DSP board.

                “Hyung Jun-ssi, take a seat” A lady tells.

                I make myself comfortable next to manager hyung and sigh as I’m about to lie about right now.

                “Hyung Jun-ssi, genchanayeo? Sorry for not giving you much attention. We heard that your mother wants to take you away for a vacation. Are you healthy enough to leave the country?” A member from the board asks and I nod staring down.

                “We actually cannot let you leave the country in a moment like this but…”

                “But I want some time out” I cut off another board member.

                “Since Hyung Jun-ssi is not feeling well and obviously he’s feeling pressured too so I think it would be good if we let him take a little vacation” CEO says.

                “He has been pressured since the start and even he’s the maknae so I think we should let him take a little time out and settle down everything” Manager hyung backs me up.

                “Alright then, how long are you planning to stay out of the country Hyung Jun-ssi?” They ask.

                “I’m not sure. My mother will decide that. She might take me away for a couple of weeks”

                “Is Kibum-ssi going too?”

                “Kibumah might go but we’ll have to check with his schedule” I reply.

                “Very well then, please have a little break and sort out everything. Return whenever you want but don’t take too long” CEO gives me a warm smile.

                “Ah nae, Kamsahmnida” I stand up and bow.

                “Gaja” Manager hyung takes my hand as the whole room bow to each other and we head out.  

                Hyung is silent as we walk through the hallway again. I turn around my head to check whether anyone’s coming from behind. The hallway is empty.

                “Hyung, gumawo” I whisper and hug him from behind.

                “I’m really going to regret this” He whispers back.

                I feel the love he has for me. He’s like a father who takes care of us whenever the members need anything or they get into any trouble. I know, though hyung acts like he’s not much pressured with Jung Min’s case, he would do anything to bring him back just to see the members’ smiles.

                “Do not say a word to anyone, arasso? Our plan shouldn’t be known by anyone except you boys, your families and me arasso? If anyone gets to know this I’m going to kill you!” Hyung says.

                “Yagsog” I tangle my pinky finger with his and give him a huge grin.

                “Ah Jinja molla!” He groans and pulls me as he walk towards the main door.               

I drive to the visa office with Kyu Jongah to collect my visa letter. I borrowed omma’s car as I don’t want to go to the company again and trouble manager hyung plus there will be fan girls too and I’m literally not in a mood to smile right now. I’m really nervous. I don’t know what kind of a reaction Jung Minnie will have when I go there. I brake the car in front of the office and go inside leaving Kyu Jonggie in the car to wait.

                “Visa done!” Kyu Jonggie high fives me as I hand him the letter.

                “Omma will book the tickets today. I wish Kibummie would go too so omma won’t be alone”

                “Is he busy?” Kyu Jongah asks.

                “Mmm… since I’m planning to stay there for more than two weeks, his company said his schedules will clash with the vacation”

                “Oh arasso. I wish I could come” Kyu Jonggie sighs.

                “You have no idea how nervous I am. I just don’t know what to do” I whisper.

                “Don’t worry”

                “I’m not worried Kyu Jongah, I’m scared” My voice breaks.

                “If he gets angry, all he would do is ignore you and walk away. Not like he can hit you right? Although he has changed he’s still Jung Min. The old Jung Min will never let the new one harm you” Kyubbi comforts me.

                “But he hit me last time didn’t he? What if he does something more this time?” I ask.

                “More? Ah Hyung Junah don’t be scared. He’s Jung Min! You know Jung Min better than anyone don’t you? He will scold you or might hit you but he will never do anything more than that. You have to gain confidence in you! Right now you’re not scared at Jung Min, you’re scared at how you’re going to bear the pain. Be confident! You’re our brave maknae after all!

                “What if he gets angry forever? What if he ignores me and will never talk to me again?”

                “I told you just now, you’re not confident about yourself Hyung Junah. Be strong and face anything that might happen. You faced one of the bitter realities we ever had, you saw Jung Min’s disappearance and you went through it. It’s one of the hardest things you’ve ever done but you survived it didn’t you? You got sick, you fainted, cried, screamed like an insane person, starved and stayed awake. You did so many things but still you’re here aren’t you? If you could survive that then why won’t you survive a little moment of Jung Min’s usual behaviour of violence? Ignorance? Remember, once you said he’s the crazy horse and you’re his trainer? You trained him! So he won’t do anything beyond your rules, haha” Kyubbi finishes off with a laugh.

                I give a slight smile staring down.

                Kyubbi suddenly lifts my face with his hand and turn it towards the rear-view mirror.

                “Take a look at you Hyung Junah. You’re still here” He whispers.

                I look at my face from the mirror. I haven’t bothered to use a mirror for a long time after he went missing. I haven’t worn make-up from a long time too. I take the moment and check out myself. Kyubbi’s right, I’m here! Of course I’m here. This is the reality, I really did survive.

                A smile covers my face as I feel proud of myself. I shake my head to fade away the smile and start the car and drive off to the highway.               

Leader hyung and Young Saeng hyung has almost finished packing my clothes and stuff. Omma has already arrived at the dorm to drop off her luggage and some of mine from home too. She has booked the tickets for the day after tomorrow. It’s said that her visa will be here tomorrow but if it gets late then we’ll have to wait for another few more days.

                I don’t know what I would if that happens. I just want fly to Singapore as soon as I can because staying here like this will only make me more nervous. If I could just fly there and meet him, then whatever is going to happen will happen and it will all be over. But I’ll have to wait until omma’s visa comes. I sigh as I think about it. I’ve been waiting for so long, I’m weak now.