This is it. I’m here. I take a deep breath as the cab brakes. Omma rubs my hand and nods at me giving me strength. I’m not sure whether I can do this but I have to. I came all this way for this. I can’t back out now. I took the risk of facing whatever comes my way the moment I got into the plane at Korea. Now, it’s time. Yes, it’s time and I’m going to do this. I’m going to see him, finally.

            “Omma…” I say in a questioning tone as she stops near the cab after getting down.

            “Ga Hyung Junah, you should go alone” She says.

            “Hajiman…”

            “Ga… it’s better that way okay? Don’t tell him I’m here if he takes your presence in a bad way, got it?”

            “Arasso” I whisper.

            “It’ll be alright. I’ll be here”

            “Mmm... ara” I leave her hand.

            Suddenly I feel like I’m standing alone. All this time when omma held my hand, it was like something’s keeping me straight and steady but now I’m alone. I have to do this alone. That was the plan in the first place wasn’t it? I can’t drag omma there. Jung Minnie might get pissed off. Before that, I got to find him. The place is big.

            I walk through the pathway leading to the beach. He’s nowhere to be seen. I take off my shoes after I come to the sandy area. It feels soft and rough at the same time; ha! Just like Jung Min’s personality. The sand’s a bit cold as the sun isn’t that hot yet. I look around to find him but there are only a couple of people at the beach and none of them is him.

            I sigh heavily. He’s not here. Did that ajhumma lie? Maybe she did! She was disagreeing at first too so maybe? But after all that I said, doesn’t a person’s heart melt? Maybe he’s at the hospital or somewhere else. There’s only few people here and none of them is him god dammit! All my hopes, all my hopes; they starts shattering in front of me like a glass.

            I walk up to the water. The waves are quite and calm. I stare at the footsteps on the sand. The waves slowly hit my toes making me shiver with the ice cold water. But I don’t care! I’m too depressed to bother over some cold water. I walk through the waves; parallel to them. Occasionally I hit the water with my toes because of my anger. The wind is soft and slow. I turn around and stare at my footsteps. One by one fades away with the waves. Just like how slowly, slowly the old Jung Min faded away. As the sand appears new in front of me after the waves erase everything, I sigh again. It’s like him, new and fresh having no absolute clue about the past. But then I start walking forward through the waves towards the sea. Something drags me there. I stare at the water as I walk. I feel the water level getting higher slowly and slowly. It touches my calves, my knees and…

            “Yah neo michchaniya? Eriewa!” Someone yells from my back.

            I stop for a second as I recognize the voice. I become still. The waves hit me making me shake but I remain still. For a second I feel like everything’s blooming in front of me like a flower; all my hopes and my prayers being answered, every single thing I’ve wished until today becoming true. I take a deep breath and turn around. The sight drives me weak and suddenly a wave hits me and I fall down.

            “Yah Hyung Junah…” He runs towards me and I just stay in the water staring at him.

            “Yah neo mwoaneungeoya?” He shouts as he picks me up.

            I just continue to stare at his face. It’s him! PARK JUNG MIN! He’s… he’s here in front me. It suddenly hits my mind that this could be a dream but his strong grab at my arm tells me it’s not. This is real, he’s really here.

            “Neo Jinja michchaseo?” He shouts at my face. “What if you drown huh?” He adds.

            “Jung Minah…” I manage to say his name but they sound like a whisper.

            He sighs and wipes away the sand from my shirt. I can’t help it anymore. I jump on to him and hug him as hard as I can. This better not be a dream! I don’t want this to be a dream. This is the best moment in my life. I found him! I found my best friend! God’s not that evil to turn this into a dream is he?  

            “Hyung Junah…” He whispers hugging me back.

            He’s not angry. He’s not fighting back. He’s… he’s calm. The last time I saw him, it was a complete disaster but now he’s calm. Oh how many thoughts I had about this meeting; about his reaction and boom! He’s all well.

            “Jung Minah neo genchana?” I start sobbing as I speak.

            “Mmm… uljima” He ruffles my hair like a kid’s.

            I say nothing but sob. I can’t believe I found him. He’s… he’s alive! All this time, all this time I was scared to say those words but now I’m not, because he’s in front of me. He’s not dead! He’s alive! Oh how I want to scream to the whole world that I found him. I want to let everyone know. I miss my hyungs. They should have been here. Kyu Jongah would probably cry so much than I’m doing right now. Young Saeng hyung would hide his face and leader hyung… I just don’t want to imagine him weak. He’s always so strong in front of us; carrying the whole weight. But I know, if he was here he would cry.

            “Hyung Junah… uljima” He says again.

            “Mmm...” I pull back from the hug.

            “Paboya” He snaps and wipes away my tears.

            “Genchana?” My eyebrows curl in sadness as I whisper.

            He nods at me and gives me a warm smile.

            “Yah look at you… You’re like a wet dog” He blasts his thousand watt smile laughing at me. 

            Surprisingly I don’t feel angry over his tease instead I feel so glad that he’s laughing. I want him to laugh. I don’t care whether it’s with me or at me.

            “You came alone?” He asks.

            I shake my head. “Omma came with me, she’s in the cab”

            “Memberdeul?” His tone carries so much hope.

            I shake my head again and stare down at my hands.

            “Arasso” He sounds… disappointed.

            Oh god, we should have just taken the whole police team here. Don’t I say this all the time? Never predict Jung Min! He’s a time bomb!

            “Company won’t let everyone come here you know. And even I came here after lying to them. If we said the truth then everyone will come here” I say.

            “It’s good if everyone came” He sighs.

            “You want a whole police team to appear in front of you at 10:00 a.m. in a calm beach?” I snap.

            He gives me a confused look for a second and then shakes his head.

            “I thought it through okay, before coming here. I knew you would be upset if we all came here and that’s also with some police team behind us. Jung Minah… you’re not just someone, you’re a celebrity. Of course there’s a huge police team searching for you and if they suddenly show up in front of you, you’ll get pissed. That’s why I came alone” I say.

            “Gumawo” He whispers.

            “For what?”

            “Just… for not pissing me off” He rolls his eyes at the last three words like he’s annoyed with his own anger.

            “Don’t be upset, you don’t get that pissed nah” I try to comfort him.

            “But I hit you last time” He stares down. “Oh god, why did I do that?” He sends both his hands through his hair with disappointment.

            “Ah Jung Minah… its fine just forget it” I rub his shoulder.

            He shakes his head. I know he’s not going to feel better with anything I say right now. He’s torturing himself for what he did.

            “Let’s go and sit down shall we?” I ask taking his hand.

            “Let’s just sit here” He points the sand.

            I nod and sit down with him. The waves barely touch my toes.

            “Don’t be upset over it now arasso? It happened and we both forgot it didn’t we?” I say.

            “I know, I know but it doesn’t feel right. I mean after I hit you and watching you just sitting there on the floor, bleeding was the worst thing I’ve ever seen in my life. It was a sight I never wanted to see especially not caused by myself but… If someone else did it to you, no matter how angry I might have been with you at that moment I would have just killed that person. But how can I do something to myself? Because obviously you’re going to be sadder than you ever were if I do something like that” His tears stream down his cheeks.

            “Jung Minah” I try to say something but he starts talking again.

            “I coldly went to the bed because I didn’t want to see you like that anymore. I was too proud to give you a hand and lift you up. I cried that day Hyung Junah… After you left, I cried so much until Hyungdeul came home. I didn’t want anyone to know because it will hurt my pride and you know how far I go with that so…” His mouth curls into a smile.

            “Forget it now…” I whisper.

            “How did you find me?”

            “If you promise me not to kill that person then I’ll tell you” I say and laugh.

            “Yagsog” He lifts his pinky finger.

            “The doctor that you consulted in Seoul, she gave us your address and hospital information. We had a hard time asking for that. She just wouldn’t give us!”

            “Does manager hyung knows?”

            “Yes we told him. He’s the one who arranged me to come, basically who lied to the company. No one else knows about this except members, manager hyung and our parents”           “That’s good” He nods.

            “I vomited in the plane” I whisper.

            He bursts out laughing.

            “Yah…” I punch him.

            “How’s the album coming?” He asks through the laughter.

            “Album work and everything stopped after you went”

            “But I did ask you to continue it in the letter didn’t I?” He frowns.

            “I found the letter later. How can I help it when you’ve hid it in such a place?” I snap.

            “Fair enough. But I knew you’d go through my stuff, Sherlock Holmes” He smiles at me. “Charesseo” He ruffles my hair again.

            “Mmm… How’s treatments? All well?” I ask.

            His expression changes the moment I mention it. He nods looking down. Maybe I should change the topic.

            “When I went to your house that ajhumma opened the door. I thought she doesn’t know hangul so I snapped ah igae mweoya at her” I say with an embarrassed tone.

            “Rascal. She must have felt so bad. You didn’t use informal language with her right?”

            “Ani… I acted very innocent” I perform a little aegyeo.

            “Oh yeah? I’ll ask that from her” He gives me his evil smirk.

            I say nothing but continue to laugh with him. We stare at the sea for a couple of minutes until he wakes up his voice again.

            “Mianhe” He whispers.

            “Genchana Jung Minah” I say because I know he’s apologizing for leaving like that.

            “Neo genchana?” He highlights the word.

            I nod.

            “I know it was hard for you. Thank god you’re healthy” He says.

            “What healthy? I fainted so many times, caught a high fever, screamed like an idiot because something kept repeating inside my mind that you’re dead!” I blabber.

            He widens his eyes at me and immediately stands up walking towards the waves. Oh ! I shouldn’t have said that stuff. He stops as the waves slowly hit his ankles. He kicks the waves splashing water all over him.

            “Yah…” I run to him.

            He stares down as I wipe away the water from his face.

            “Don’t get wet… you’ll catch a cold” I add.

            “Neo Jinja genchana?” He asks again.

            “Ah I told you nah! I’m completely fine now! It’s just it was hard for me but now it’s all fine because I found you! It’s all fine Jung Minah don’t worry” I hug him again.

            “I knew it will be hard but I didn’t expect that much” He says.

            “Forget it now. If you’re finished with your early morning beach walk then shall we go to your apartment now? I’m so damn hungry you fool. Feed me!” I laugh through the words.

            I just want to make him forget about it. If he keeps on thinking about my stupid words then he would go into a depression mode. What if he runs away again? No I’m not going to let him go this time! Never!

            “Mmm… arasso. Help me with cooking alright? No slacking off!” He says pulling back from the hug.

            “Of course I’ll help you!” I say making a proud face.

            “We all know how that’s going to end” He snaps and smirks at me.

            He fixes my hair; maybe it’s messed up because of the wind.

            “Gaja…” He takes my hand and leads me towards the road.