“You don’t have to hide it anymore you know” He speaks from inside.

            I say nothing. Neither I have the energy to talk nor do I know what he’s talking about.

            “I know it’s getting worse, I know” He says again.

            He knows? How? My mind goes completely blank.

            “In one way I can’t blame you either. It’s fair for you to get scared”

            “What’s getting worse?” I ask in a confused tone pretending like I have no clue.

            “I heard doctor-ssi talking to the head physician before I left the hospital to find you. I know it all. However, thank you”

            “Thank you?”

            “For not trying to hurt me. Just leave Hyung Junah… you’ll get hurt while trying to comfort me. This can’t be helped. Just leave, I have no other choice but to suffer with this forever. So just go away” His voice lowers as he speaks.

            I lean my ear against the door to catch his words. I hear him sniffing, maybe sobbing? What should I do? What should I say?

            “Just leave” He repeats.

            “I don’t want to” I say.

            “This is not going to get any better. I’m not going to get any better. Just leave. I’ve given up! I don’t want to try anymore. I didn’t want you to see another tantrum so I ran home. I’ve given up so you give up too. It’s not safe here so just leave. ing leave will you?” He curses at me.

            But I know that tone. He didn’t mean it. He’s just weary, tired and sick of this, I know.

            “Don’t say that. We can make this better” I try to talk positively.

            “No! There’s no use so don’t even try!” He shouts.

            “That’s not true! Don’t ever say that. Don’t you know the simplest rule in this world; that nothing stays the same forever? So just stop being so negative. It’ll change. Today or tomorrow or maybe after ten years but it will change. Why do you want to give up? Weren’t you the one who always told us that there’s no free loading in this world; that we can’t handover our problems to fate or to the nature and just give up on things? Why are you backing off on your own words? Why do you want to give up? We can-”

            “There’s no use! Why don’t you ing understand that?” He cuts me off.

            “Listen! Stop saying that! Stop saying there’s no use! You always find a way to make something work when you want to. So why don’t you want to find a way for this too? If there’s a will, there’s a way right? I don’t care whether you keep backing off or not but just… I don’t want to give up. I have a will, and I will work it out. I will do anything to make you get better. I’d hire the most reliable psychiatrist on this earth; I’ll buy the most expensive medicine for you! I’ll take you to any corner of this world which can treat you to get better. I promise you! I won’t give up until you get better. So stop thinking negatively. Tell me what do you want to do? Do you want to go home? Do you feel better there? Or do you want your parents to come here? You need them right though you keep telling you don’t? Should I call the members? Should I call Kyu Jongah? Do you need him here? We usually go to him when we have a problem right? Should I call them? Should I ask them to come here? Tell me! Just tell me what you want to happen and I’d just do anything to make it happen! Please don’t give up. Please just listen to me! Please Jung Minah I’ll help you! I’ll help you to get over with this. You can do it! You are my best friend you know that don’t you? My best friend is not known for giving up! He’s known for striving hard. Please, please, please don’t give up. Please tell me what you want. Please don’t give up, I’ll help you! I promise I-”

            My sentence pauses halfway through as he opens the door. I slowly look up at him. He’s carrying the weariest expression I’ve seen on him. I say nothing. He tries to sits in front of me but halfway through he falls down. I quickly grab his arms.

            He looks up at me with raspberry red eyes. “Help me” He whispers.

            I unknowingly sob at his words. I can’t control my tears.

            He breaks down. He starts crying so hard that it makes me cry even more. I pull him into a hug. I hug him as tightly as I can. He doesn’t move a single inch but continues to cry. I look around the hallway; no one’s there. I idly wonder why no one even gets curious about such a noise at their floor. But it’s not the most important thing right now. Jung Minah agreed. He agreed to receive help. He quit on giving up. That’s Jung Min! That’s my best friend.

I take him to his room and lie him down on the bed. His eyes are exhausted and he’s sweating a lot. But I don’t want to risk making him take a shower right now; he might faint due to weariness. He sighs from time to time. I pace to the kitchen to grab him a glass of water. I get shocked with all the smashed up items in the living room and the hallway as I pass them. The kitchen is a mess too. Even his medicine box is smashed. The yellow bottle is lying on the floor along with the syringes but thankfully the bottle hasn’t broken. I pick them up and arrange the medicine box again and push it towards the counter corner. He hasn’t touched any plates or other ceramic, breakable items; thank god. I pick up a few items and place them on the counter. Ajhumma will clean it up when she comes. I take the glass of water to his room.

            He has covered himself with the blanket. It’s a bit cold now that I noticed it. I pull him up and help him to drink the water.

            “I’m cold” He says.

            “Ah… let me cover you then”

            “It’s really cold, I’m freezing”

            I curl my eyebrows. I don’t feel that cold; it’s bearable though. Is he sick?

            I place my palm on his forehead; he’s burning!

            “Yah you are sick. Oh you idiot. Your body must have got tired when you ran” My tone sounds utterly panicked.

            “This blanket isn’t enough… get me another one” He says pointing his cupboard.

            I run to it and grab another blanket. It’s smaller comparing to the one he’s using now. However I cover him up with it too. I turn on the heater to maximum and cover all the curtains in his room so that cold air won’t come in.

            He makes a weary sound. Ah ottokae? He must be feeling really sick. I check his fever again. His fever has risen. I run to the kitchen and quickly prepare some cold water with a face towel and run back to his room. His body is sweating but he’s curling up because he’s cold. Ah I don’t know how to react to this. The room ain’t warm yet. I curse at the radiator and kneel down next to the bed in front of him. His eyes are tightly shut and his eyebrows are curled; maybe due to the pain. He’s trembling so hardly. I place the wet towel on his forehead to absorb the warmth. I don’t know how to react. I feel like my whole body is trembling; not because of the cold but because I’m scared. I don’t know why I’m this scared. Please don’t let anything happen to Jung Min; I chant inside my mind. What should I do? Should I call someone? Maybe I should call omma! Yes, omma.

            I take out my phone from the pocket but the damn thing is not charged. Ah it! Ah ottoake? My charger is hidden somewhere inside the bag and I struggle like an insane person to find it. I keep searching for a plug point but I can’t see any.

            The TV comes to my mind. I run behind it and take off all the plugs. My body shivers as I wait for my phone to switch on. As soon as it does I rush to my contact book but the inbox get opened. Ah mweoya! My fingers are trembling. After a few seconds I somehow manage to dial omma’s number.

            “Ah Junah” Omma answers.

            Her voice surprisingly calms me down.

            “Omma, omma Jung Minnie’s sick” I blabber but my words aren’t even clear.

            “Ah? Sick? Fever?”

            “Mmm… He’s trembling and it’s not even much cold. He’s sweating but he keeps saying that he’s cold. Ah omma molla! Ah jinja molla! Ottokaji?”

            “Junah, calm down. Did you place a cold towel on his forehead?”

“Yes I did. But fever’s not going down. It’s rising”

“Oh no. Try calling the doctor or that ajhumma. They might know what to do. I’ll come right now okay? Don’t forget to call them and don’t forget to wet the towel when it gets warm alright? Calm down okay? It’s just fever nothing more alright?”

“Ah arasso…” My voice breaks and I hang up.

            I run back to his room. The towel has dropped down as he has turned to his left side. I turn him back again and wet the towel. He keeps panting and sighing as I place the towel on his forehead again. His body feels warmer than before.

            Oh ! The calls!

            I sprint to the living room again. God why do I keep forgetting things? I go through my contact book to find ajhumma’s number but…. Wait. I don’t have it! Oh Jung Min’s phone might have it! Okay now where is that?

            I slightly remember carrying his phone with me when we ran as he threw it onto my lap. But where did I put it? Did it drop somewhere? Oh god my ing silly actions!

            It might be on the hallway outside the apartment? Yeah, I was sitting there. I quickly open the door and look down. The phone is there! Oh thank god. I go through the phonebook and ajhumma’s number is the emergency contact in his phone. I quickly dial her number.

            “Ah Jung Minah, waeyo?” She picks up.

            “Ajhumma it’s me Hyung Jun. Jung Minnie is terribly sick. He’s trembling and it’s not even cold here. I don’t know what to do. I placed a wet towel on him but his fever is not going down. I called my omma too and she said she’ll be here. Can you come palli? Or can you call the doctor and tell her too? I don’t know what to do, Ah jinja molla! Please come. Please do something, I’m really scared”

            “Ah? Jinja? Okay wait I’ll come. I’ll call the doctor-ssi on my way. Wait till I come okay? Keep the towel on his forehead and wet his lips from time to time with water arasso? His mouth must be dry. Don’t let him drink anything or eat anything until I come. I’ll be there quick. Gidaleyeo arasso?” She hangs up.

            Don’t let him drink anything?  He just drank the water didn’t he? Oh no! Is that a bad thing? Will it affect him? Why do I keep doing silly things?

            Wait… right now is not the time to worry over such a thing. I should act according to the situation. I take another glass of water to his room along with a spoon. I wet the face towel again and make it colder and place it on his forehead. The fever is stable but still he’s burning. Maybe the cold water is helping a bit, I don’t know. I wet his lips a bit with water. His lips are dried out, almost going to crack.

            “Hyung Junah… I’m cold” He whispers and his voice breaks.

            “Omma will be here soon arasso? And ajhumma too! Don’t worry. You’ll be fine okay don’t panic” I take my hand through his hair.

            “I’m not the actual panicked person right here” He teases.

            Ah jinja this rascal. Not even a high fever would shut his insults.

            “Shut up and sleep. You’ll be fine” I gently slap his shoulder.

            He gives me a weary smile and closes his eyes again. As he sleeps I feel lonely. My panic attack is simply fading away but I need to talk to someone. I can’t keep talking to Jung Minnie. Oh why am I like this; always weak and emotional?           

            After a few moments I find myself rubbing his head and playing with his hair. I’m such a kid. I shake my head at my own self with disappointment. I take off my hand.

            “Keep it there” He whispers.

            “Ah?”

            “Your hand; keep it there. It’s comforting” He says.

            A smile covers my face. Am I being proud of my kiddy acts? Ah whatever. I start rubbing his head again. Maybe it’s helping him to relax. He curls again and hugs his legs to his chest. He looks like a little kid. I sigh as I know he’s cold and I can’t even do anything about it. The room’s temperature is a bit warmer now but it ain’t warm enough for him, I know.

            Sometimes I feel like I’m useless. I can’t do anything for anyone. I remember once when Kibumah was sick like this and all I kept doing was panic like a little kid. Maybe I’m a bit improved today but I’m still acting like a kid. I look at him still struggling with the pain and I don’t even know how to make it go away. He just agreed not to give up and then this happens! What if it changes his mind again? I know Jung Min rarely does that but what if? What if this makes him give up on it again? What if he says he doesn’t want treatments again? What if all my efforts go wasted?

            What if I lose him? 

_______________________________________________________________________________________

Pretties... I just started a new fanfiction called Timeless Love that circles around our Prince... (Persona will continue too) So here's a lil invite for you to check it out keke  http://www.asianfanfics.com/story/view/541142/timeless-love-heoyoungsaeng-kimhyungjun-kimhyunjoong-kimkyujong-parkjungmin-ss501

And... Thank you for your love for Persona. ♥