▲▼▲ KAICHOU WA MAID-SAMA - I'M NOT ALONE

Sehun sighed as he sat leaned against the headboard of his bed. He could hear the waves coming onto the sandy land as he sat in bed quietly. His stay at the beach had already been over three days. He wanted to go home, but not just yet. Sehun turned his head towards his bag that was in front of him, and pulled out blank pieces of paper and a pencil. His head lowered as he tried to fold the paper into little squares and ripped them out. Grabbing his pencil, he took one of the small squared papers and his pencil and began to write. ‘What if...’ There’s no time for that at all. He sighed as he grabbed another piece of paper. *What if they came and controlled my life again?* He looked down at the paper and began to write again. If someone’s controlling your life to make themselves happy, that wouldn’t make you happy, right? I’m not happy. *What if I can’t satisfy anyone?* He tapped his pencil against his leg as he searched for the right words that came through his mind. Still not satisfying yourself... You’re more important. Got it? *What if I disappoint my family?* He sighed, his eyes becoming red. How do you know that you’re disappointing them? For all you know, you could be making them proud instead of disappointed. They always got your back. Right?

Sehun puffed his cheeks and lets out a shaky exhale. He glanced outside his window, where he could see the sun setting across the horizon. *Why am I still in a world like this?* He looked down at his paper, and sighed. Keep searching for the answer. *Should I have ended myself earlier? It might have been easier.* Sehun set his pencil aside and grabbed the pieces of paper that he had written in, and started folding them into paper cranes.

He stopped at mid-fold on one of his cranes and let out a small chuckle, remembering how he had once given someone a crane as well. Imperfect is perfect. He still remembers giving it to Minyoung on the day he had officially left elementary school.

▲▼▲▼▲

Minyoung sighed as she sat in the sand and watched the waves leaving and coming back. She sighed as she lies on the sand and closes her eyes, listening to the beach around her as she felt what’s left of the sun’s beam hit against her pale skin. “If you’re tired, go inside.” She opened her eyes, only to find Sehun standing above her with a small smile. She sat up as he sat down beside her. “I thought about it...”
Minyoung looked at Sehun, “And what did you come up with?”
“I’m still wondering why I’m in this world... Truthfully, I don’t think I belong in this world...” Sehun whispered, making Minyoung press her lips into a thin, firm line. “All of my ‘what if’ questions has been answered, but it’s just that one question...” He glanced at the girl beside him, “Help me.”

Minyoung raised a brow, “Help you? With what? To ‘find that answer?’” Sehun flinched at her sudden harsh tone. “Sehun, the point of this is for you to figure out things by yourself. You can’t rely on other people, just like you can’t rely on your grandmother at most times when she was still alive. Sure, she was the only person that you thought you had left to care and who would care for you. Whatever answer I give you, would not be the correct answer to your question. Only you could answer that question.” She looked at the boy who grew silent beside her, “Have you ever thought that all this competition between you and your cousin could be your fault? Have you ever thought of why your uncle keeps pushing you down like that? Have you ever wondered why you suddenly lost all of your friends? Have you thought of anything? And you’re probably asking yourself if you should have just ended your life sooner or later to avoid all this trouble and pain.”

Minyoung sighed as she looked back at the scenery in front of her. “Every living thing has a right to live. Nobody has the right to give their lives up. As soon as you're born, you are precious to someone, even if that person is happy, disappointed, or seems to hate you. You’re important. Stop being anxious and don't be scared. If you don't give up on yourself, no one else can. You have to believe that you're perfect as well, but also imperfect. You have to live knowing that everyone around you are like that too. You're not alone.” Sehun bit his lip and averted his eyes to the sand underneath him. “Even if you do harm yourself, you have to think. What about the others who didn’t choose to do this? What about the others who didn’t chose this path but ended up leaving this place? In that situation, you’d probably make your family disappointed. You know why? They went down a path that they didn’t chose, but fate decided on it for them, and they had to accept it. You on the other hand, if you do, of course they would be disappointed. Only because they once they left, you were the only thing on their mind, and they wished for you to have a healthy, well life, unlike theirs. If you harm yourself, they would think that they wasted their life wishing for so long but it became such a wish that was thrown away. At this moment, your family is looking over for you and are probably wishing for you to be happy, and do what you choose to do, not what others want you to do.”

Your cousin and you are only compared because your uncle doesn’t understand what you’re choosing. But it also means that he thinks that you should be like Jinsung. Which is impossible right?” Sehun sighed and nodded. “Your cousin, he’s most liked, does everything and rarely makes a mistake, treated like some kind of king, everything he does is perfect. That’s what everyone thinks, and because of that, they want to be like him. To my opinion, the way you describe him, I see him as a robot. Why? Because only a robot could do those.” Minyoung sighed once again as she hugged her knees to her chest, “What makes perfect imperfect? The fact that everyone is perfect in their own way, and because of that, to the world they are looked down as imperfect. There’s a reason why we’re all not the same. If we are, life would just be boring, to the point there’s no point in living anymore. For example twins, family expect them to do everything the same, have the same interests, and etc. Truthfully, they have their own specialty. Even twins, triplets, whatever can’t be the same. Like I said, life would be boring. You and Jinsung are always compared to each other. But Jinsung succeeds without trying, you would succeed by trying.” Sehun curled up his fingers into fists at the thought of his cousin. “Your uncle doesn’t understand that you two need to be different from each other, but he does want you to have a good future like Jinsung’s. You’re just too angry to think about that possibility.”

Minyoung exhaled heavily as she stood up and looked down at Sehun, “I’m tired. Go back inside, it’s getting dark,” she says as she walks away.
“Minyoung...”
The girl turned around and looked at Sehun, “Yes?”
“Have you been through this before?” Sehun asked.
Minyoung stared at Sehun, pressing her lips into a firm line, “Yes.” She paused before continuing on, “Why do you ask?”
Sehun looked down, “N-no reason... You just seem to change a lot after hearing me talk about this...” he trailed off.
“Well if that was your last question, I’m going to get some food,” she says as she walks away from Sehun.

Uhm. Sorry, I don’t know what I’m writing about lately. OTL
I usually tend to write without noticing what I’m writing. Soo...
Yeah.