JB sighed, letting his head hang down as he took a deep breath. Between himself and Himchan, they had managed to patch Youngjae up. He was still worried about the fact that Youngjae could have possible internal bleeding or broken bones that would need tending to, but he knew it would be best to not move Youngjae to a new location just yet.

Instead he settled for going ahead and starting up an IV port and getting fluids into Youngjae. JB did his best to ignore his friend’s unconscious flinch when JB found his vein and pushed the needle into his skin. Another sigh escaped his lips as Himchan rubbed his back soothingly, offering silent support as JB fixed the IV line and pulled out a different syringe, this one filled with a dose of pain medication as he pushed it through the IV before flushing it with the saline solution.

“He’s going to be okay, JB… especially with a doctor like you, okay?”

JB tried to smile, “Just a nurse…”

Himchan patted JB’s shoulder, “Yeah, well you did a helluva job keeping calm… okay…?”

JB nodded.

Youngjae found himself standing in a blank room, the air around him was cold and he felt a sense of dread swelling up in him. His memories were hazy and he could barely remember his own name, let alone how he had gotten here.

Where ever here was.

“Ah~ I see my grandson has finally come to visit me…”

Youngjae turned quickly, his eyes wide as the fog around him seemed to clear and everything around him took shape. “Haraboji…”

Eunseok smiled slowly, kicking at the sand beneath his feet as he drew closer to Youngjae, “Ah, so you remember me, that is a blessing, I thought you had forgotten this old fool…”

Youngjae shook his head, looking around. He was surprised to find himself on a beach and not in a blank room like he had assumed before. “Haraboji….. where are we?”

Eunseok shrugged, “A beach… I assume… I’m not sure where…” He smiled, “We can be anywhere… let’s pretend like it’s Hawaii, I always wanted to go to Hawaii.” He motioned to Youngjae, “Walk with me, Youngjae.”

Youngjae nodded, falling into step next to the old man. He watched him with amazement as he walked with ease along the sand, his back straight and his breathing coming easier then Youngjae would have imagined.

The thought crossed his mind again, and finally opened his mouth.

“Before you ask, Youngjae… You are not dead.”

Youngjae bit his tongue, surprised at the answer to the question he never asked, he took another breath and started again, “Then… why am I here… Why are you… I mean… are you—“

Eunseok smiled, “Well, yes, unfortunately, I am…” he said, a twinkle in his eyes. “I’m not sure why I am here exactly… I can only guess…” He pushed his hands into his pockets. “It’s not your time yet… Youngjae.”

“B…but… Hyunseung shot me… didn’t he?”

Eunseok’s smile was sad, “Do you remember him shooting you?”

“I remember a gunshot?” Youngjae stared in the distance, the foggy horizon creating the illusion of the beach that he and Eunseok were walking on being never ending. There was a clear gunshot in his memory, but after that… everything became hazy.

Youngjae rubbed gently at his elbow as the chill began to creep through his body, as though his blood stream was becoming ice. The fog around them grew thicker and Youngjae felt dizzy.

“Just take your time, Youngjae… there is no rush…” Eunseok said, slowing his pace to match Youngjae’s as the blonde began to chew at his lip.

“I’m not dead…” Youngjae said slowly, “And… I don’t remember being shot… Haraboji… why does it hurt so much then.”

Eunseok smiled gently, coming to a full stop as he pulled Youngjae in for a hug, “I know it does…” he whispered.

“Can you make it stop?”

Eunseok sighed, “You don’t want that, Youngjae… You don’t want it to stop, trust me…”

Youngjae took a deep and shaky breath as he pulled away and wiped at his eyes, “Haraboji… I’m slipping into a coma… aren’t I…?” he asked.

“Ah~ My ever so smart grandson… You got that from me…” Eunseok said, ruffling Youngjae’s hair. “You can, if you want to… you can lock yourself away here… You won’t hurt anymore… it will all be over…”

Youngjae wrapped his arms around himself, looking out at the empty beach. His fingers slowly came up, brushing gently over his lips.

“I’m sorry…”

Eunseok shook his head, “Don’t be, Youngjae… it’s your choice… I just hope you can live with it.”

“Shh, he’s waking up…”

“Move back… Don’t crowd him…”

Youngjae squeezed his eyes shut, trying to will away the slow pound in his head as he tried to shift his position. Everything was clouded by a heavy fog and he could still feel the pain in his chest with each and every breath he took. But somehow, the rest of the sharp pains all about his body that he’d been dealing with for the past month only seemed to ache with a dull pulse. He tried to sort through his memories, to try to figure out exactly where he was and what he needed to watch out for, especially considering the numbing feeling that was coursing through his limbs at that moment. He knew that if it came down to it, he’d never be able to fight Hyunseung off in this condition.

“… Youngjae?”

Instantly, Youngjae’s eyes snapped open and he shot straight up. He was vaguely aware of the lack of handcuffs for the first time in an indescribably amount of time, but he paid no attention to his sudden freedom as instead he scrambled back away from the figure sitting at the edge of the bed next to him.

Youngjae’s brain was trying to click into gear, to connect the dots and paint the picture of what had happened while he was unconscious, but as the male watched each of Youngjae’s moves carefully, the younger only began to panic more.

What if Hyunseung had taken to drugging him in his sleep? What if he would never be able to rid himself of the hallucinations. One quick glance around the room was enough to convince Youngjae that Hyunseung must have given him a larger dose then usual…

His eyes slowly followed down the line, widening as he noticed the IV port still in the crook of his elbow. A steady flow of liquid was still being pumped into his body, and Youngjae could only shudder at the thoughts of how easy it must have been now to drug him. How many foreign chemicals would be running through his body right now without him even knowing.

Youngjae’s focus snapped back to Yongguk as the elder reached forward to initiate some sort of physical contact.

Yongguk winced at the pained gasp that left Youngjae as he drew himself farther into the corner, his back pressed firm to the wall. His posture was tense as he closed his eyes tightly, trying to shrink away from Yongguk’s outstretched hand.

Bile rose in the back of Yongguk’s throat as he began to connect the dots as he watched Youngjae tense up, his head already turned slightly to the side as though he was waiting, as though he was already preparing himself. With a heavy sigh, Yongguk let his hand fall to the bed, “Youngjae… I’m not going to hit you.”

Youngjae’s hands were still shaking as he gripped at the sheets surrounding him. He was slow to open his eyes and careful not to make any sort of eye contact with anyone surrounding his bedside. Just because he was told that he wasn’t going to be hit… it was never true. “Never real…” Youngjae whispered, staring at a spot in the bed between himself and Yongguk. He tried not to flinch back to hard as soft fingertips slowly made contact with his cheek, grazing gently over the bruised skin. Youngjae took a shaky breath, his eyes slipping closed. “N-not real…” he stuttered, leaning into the touch.

“Youngjae… I am real, okay? We all are… You’re not alone anymore.”

“I don’t want to be alone anymore…” Youngjae whispered in response, still leaning into the warm palm pressed against his cheek, trying to take in as much of the comfort as he could before the hallucination snapped or Hyunseung came back.

It couldn’t be much longer now, as Youngjae hadn’t had this long of a quiet moment for himself at all in the past month. This time would be no different.

Any moment now, Yongguk was sure to snap. Hyunseung would laugh at him for being so weak, for giving in so easy.

Youngjae needed to be stronger… he had to be.

“Youngjae… I need to go talk to Minhyuk… will you be okay with Himchan?” Yongguk kept his voice soft, trying not to startle Youngjae to much as JB had told them all how important it would be to keep the fragile boy calm.

It took a few tries for Youngjae to look up completely, but finally he met Yongguk’s gaze, “He’ll be angry with me…” He whispered, “Nice… and then angry… I never meant to… I didn’t want to… but… He won’t listen… He never does…” Tears had begun to well up in Youngjae’s eyes as he slowly pulled away from Yongguk, putting distance between them again, “Don’t leave me… please…”

Yongguk found it hard to separate Youngjae’s words, to make sense of what must have been going through his mind, but he knew one thing was for certain, “Youngjae… Himchan isn’t going to hurt you. I promise. None of us will, okay.” JB had told them all the side effects that would come from Hyunseung having used the high dosages of the anti-psychotic  on Youngjae and what sort of damages it would have done to his psyche over time, but it still didn’t make the pain of seeing Youngjae so afraid of them hurt any less.

What was worse was Yongguk knew it was all his fault too. He’d threatened Youngjae after he’d turned them over to the cops, even after Youngjae stood there, between the two sides and tried to get them to run while they still could. Youngjae had nearly broken his wrist and hit him. He didn’t give him a chance to explain anything, or prove that he was trying to make things right when he went back and cleared their names.

Youngjae had done everything in his power to make it so after they escaped, they could go back to living their lives.

He’d made sure that Himchan would never have to fear that his assaulters were still walking the streets. That Daehyun would never have to worry about his step father laying a hand on anyone else. He made sure Jongup’s family got the justice they deserved for a brutal murder that had been pinned on him. He’d even gone as far as the contact Zelo’s parents to not only let his mother know that he was still alive and okay, but let Zelo know that he hadn’t hurt anyone by choosing to live his own life without the constant fighting between his parents.

Most of all, he’d helped Yongguk. Youngjae had done something that in the years Yongguk had been with his family, he’d have never been able to do.

Youngjae fixed them. He’d placed band aids where they needed to go and duct taped what was falling apart, all while never expecting anything in return.

“I… I, uhm, know we were angry before, Youngjae…” Yongguk started, ignoring the tightness in his throat, “But… we forgive you, okay? … I forgive you, Youngjae. You never deserved this…”

Youngjae watched as Yongguk got up from the edge of the bed, and the spot was instantly replaced by Himchan.

“Jae, it’s not good for your back for you to be in the corner like that… can you try to lie back down?” Himchan asked quietly.

Youngjae studied his expression carefully with worry and apprehension as his eyes flicked from Himchan and to where Yongguk had already left the room.

 “O…okay…” Youngjae whispered. He watched Himchan carefully, before finally easing himself slowly out of the corner, trying not to show too much fear as he sat away from the wall. He shut his eyes tightly, a small whimper escaping him as he tensed up as Himchan raised his hand. He held his breath, expecting the sting of another hit and the anticipation was literally causing him nausea as his hands clutched at the hem of his shirt.

The touch was soft in his hair as Himchan brush back his fringe, his fingertips light as he traced the only uninjured line of skin down the side of Youngjae’s face, “Jae… I’m not going to hurt you…” He tried to keep his voice even as Youngjae let out a heavy, shuddering breath. “Youngjae, please…”

Youngjae slowly nodded his head, in quick breaths as he opened his eyes, looking around slowly before finally raising his eyes to meet Himchan’s gaze. “Y…You should though…” His voice was softer then a whisper, “I… hurt you… all of you. I… I deserved… I don’t…” he shook his head lightly. He pressed his lips together tightly as Himchan’s hand moved from his cheek suddenly to his jaw, his grip light, but firm as he made Youngjae look him in the eye.

“Youngjae. Nobody should have hurt you. You heard what Yongguk said, okay? You didn’t deserve any of this.” He said, his voice stern as he kept Youngjae from looking away. Himchan knew how important it would be to tread carefully around Youngjae, to be gentler with him, but in that moment, Himchan knew that there would be no way to keep Youngjae from thinking such thoughts without a firm hand.

Himchan sighed, letting Youngjae look away after a while as he let his hand fall away, slowly reaching over to pat Youngjae’s hand. His chest felt tight as Youngjae flinched from his touch.

“Okay… I get it… Do you want me to go get one of the others instead?” he asked, standing up from the bed.

Youngjae’s eyes darted away from Himchan, the room was empty as far as he could tell in that moment. But that never meant anything. The hallucinations could appear at any moment, possibly just as Himchan left the room. Worse, Hyunseung could come back.

Youngjae snapped out of his thoughts as Himchan’s voice broke the silence.

“Right… okay… I… I’ll go try to find someone else…” Himchan mumbled, turning away as he headed for the door.

 “W..Wait, please!” Youngjae’s voice cracked with fear as he crawled out of the bed, trying to get to his feet. His legs buckled beneath his weight and Himchan was quick to catch him before he hit the floor completely. Youngjae reached out blindly, his hands gripping the front of Himchan’s shirt as he pulled himself closer to the elder, trying to hide himself, “D…don’t… please…” He was being impossibly weak, and he knew it. But, part of Youngjae just couldn't find the heart to care anymore. He'd pretended to be strong for so long... even if Hyunseung came back... Youngjae wanted something to hold onto. He needed it.

“Y…Youngjae? What’s going on… Youngjae?” Himchan knelt on the ground, holding Youngjae close as he looked around the empty room, trying to find what ever had spooked the younger. Himchan sighed as Youngjae didn’t try to explain himself. Instead, he’d just taken to gasping for air between the quiet  sobs.

Himchan shushed him softly, gently running his fingers through Youngjae’s hair as he held him close. “C’mon, let’s get you back into bed, okay? You need rest… It’ll be okay, alright? We’ll protect you… you don’t have to worry.” Himchan whispered after a few minutes when Youngjae had finally gone quiet. He slipped his arms beneath Youngjae’s knees, his other arm around his back, still mindful of where the cuts and heavy bruising was at. He lifted him with ease, moving him back into the bed before untangling the IV line so that there wouldn’t be any kinks in it. He sighed softly, reaching down to brush Youngjae’s hair from his face as everything from the past hour, hell the past month, started to catch up with him and his body reached the point of just pure exhaustion and finally, Youngjae let sleep overtake him.

Himchan sat next to Youngjae, watching over him as he slept almost restlessly. That was until the door opened, and the blonde immediately snapped his attention to who was walking in. He sighed a bit as Minhyuk walked over with JB at his side.

“Was he okay with you?” JB asked, kneeling next to his medical bag as he pulled out one of the separated containers.

“Yeah… I guess so… He’s still afraid though…”

JB nodded in understanding, but Himchan stood quickly, grabbing his wrist. “What is that, JB?” He asked, keeping JB’s hand with the medical syringe in it completely visible.

Minhyuk sighed, “We’re going to sedate him, so that he’ll stay asleep for a little while… You guys can’t exactly stay here…” he said. “Himchan, we have to call in Hyunseung’s… death. P.O will be here in a minute and him and U-kwon will take you guys to a place that you’ll be safe. All of you.”

“Himchan… please… in this state, Youngjae isn’t fit to be moved while conscious.”

The blonde sighed, “I know… okay… I’m sorry…” he said, letting JB go as he stepped away and crossed his arms. He watched as JB hooked the syringe to the IV line before administering the sedative. Even in his sleep, Himchan could see the way that Youngjae’s breathing still came easier as he began to relax into a deeper sleep.

The move was simple enough, Minhyuk had taken over the task of carrying Youngjae out to the van as JB followed carefully right behind him to support the IV bag of fluids so that he could be sure Youngjae wouldn’t become any more dehydrated then he already was. Once they got Youngjae settled into one of the seats, it was Daehyun that immediately slipped into the empty spot next to him. Nobody said a word as everyone else climbed into the various seats of the van.

U-kwon was the only one talking as he leaned through the window to talk with Minhyuk, “Are you sure that you’ll be able to handle everything here alone—“

“Of course… “

“And you remember the plan?”

“Kwon of course I do—“

“I’m just making sure! This is serious okay… You can’t mess anything up—“

Minhyuk let out a huge sigh, leaning forward and giving U-kwon a quick kiss to silence him, “I’m going to call Jieun, tell her that the plan worked but not in the way she had assumed. That Hyunseung used the opportunity of having the warehouse empty to his advantage and brought Youngjae in… In his last moments he got ready to shoot Youngjae  so I shot him.”

“And?”

“Then I’m going to tell her that you and P.O took Youngjae to a safe house because Hyunseung was working with a group called EXO and he was still in danger.”

Yongguk sat up straight from where he was sitting in the far back, “What was that last part?” He asked.

Minhyuk looked through the open window, a half smile on his face as he looked at Yongguk, “C’mon now… we are still cops, you can’t expect us to leave someone like EXO on the streets… Besides… You guys left us some very detailed reports on them…” Minhyuk moved to leave the side of the van before he suddenly stopped, “Wait! Himchan, swap guns with me…”

Himchan looked up, “What? Why?” He asked.

“Because, if they run ballistics on the bullet, I need it to match what I will tell them I used…” Minhyuk said, pulling his gun from his hip and holding it out to Himchan.

Himchan sighed, passing over his gun as he took Minhyuk’s.

“Alright… You guys head out now, okay…”

“Okay… Be safe, Minhyuk…”

“You too, Yukwon—“

“Ulgh, if you two start making out, I’m going to kick you out of the car and leave you here, U-kwon!” P.O said, flopping back in his seat as he glared at the two.

The van was uncomfortably silent as U-kwon drove on. Nobody was willing to speak and nobody wanted to even making conversation.

Daehyun sat in the middle row with Youngjae and was staring down at his lap, holding onto Youngjae’s hand as though if he let it go, the younger would just disappear.

In the far back seat, Yongguk found himself squished between the window and Zelo, switching his focus between staring out the window and watching Zelo as he stared forward at Youngjae with a look of worry on his face. Next to Zelo was Himchan, who was practically in Jongup’s lap due to the cramped area. Not that he noticed much as he too was watching Daehyun and Youngjae with nervous worry.

Only Jongup seemed to be completely focused on the scenery passing by the window. It wasn’t until they were in the van for nearly twenty minutes that his small eyes widened and he sat up completely (cause Himchan to fall more towards Zelo as Jongup moved). “Why are we going this way?” He demanded, looking up at the rearview mirror so that he could see U-kwon.

When U-kwon didn’t answer him, Jongup raised his voice again, “Why are we going this way!”

Himchan looked at Jongup with worry, “Uppie, what’s wrong?” He asked, holding onto Jongup’s hand. Jongup ignored him though, staring still at U-kwon with such intensity that it was clear that U-kwon could feel the eyes on him as he reached up and subtly shifted the rearview mirror.

P.O finally turned in his seat, “This is the only place that we could think of that would be safe enough… For all of you, and you know it will be, Jongup.” He said.

Jongup crossed his arms, pulling away from Himchan to the best of his ability as he sulked, staring out the window as U-kwon turned off of the main road and onto the twisting side road.

As U-kwon slowed to a stop at the closed gates, Zelo couldn’t help but stare out the window with wide eyes, “Whoa… This place is huge…” he said, a sort of awe in his voice, “Where are we?”

Surprisingly, it was Himchan who answered. He didn’t need to see the mansion of a house for himself to know where they had pulled up to, the look in Jongup’s eyes spoke thousands of more words then that one image would ever convey. “We’re at Jongup’s house.” Himchan said quietly.

With the gates shut and locked once more after U-kwon had gotten the van inside the gates and JB had followed in behind them in his car, U-kwon parked right next to the door as he got out of the van and opened the door, helping Daehyun get Youngjae out carefully before they headed inside. Yongguk and Zelo followed them out of the van, instantly going back to JB’s car to grab the bags that Daehyun and Himchan had packed, along with the other bags that had been filled last minute at the warehouse when they realized they had time to get all of their things.

Soon, it was just Himchan and Jongup left in the van. “Jongup… you can’t just stay out here… we need to go inside.”

“I know…”

“Then c’mon…”

Jongup shook his head, “Not yet… please?”

Himchan sighed, nodding as he sat back and put his arm around Jongup’s shoulder and pulled him to his side for a hug. The silence between them wasn’t near as awkward as the silence in the van had been earlier. But soon, Himchan let out a heavy sigh, “I still remember that night… when you approached me…”

Jongup nodded slowly, staring down at his lap as he leaned against Himchan.

“I know you were scared… hell, anyone would have been after what you went through… but… you were really strong that night, Jongup.” Himchan rubbed Jongup’s arm, hugging him a bit tighter, “You trusted me that night, right?”

Jongup nodded again, “Yeah…”

“Okay… trust me right now Jongup… You can do this…”

Jongup let out a heavy sigh, “I can do this.” He repeated, reaching up and rubbing at his eyes and taking a deep breath. On exhale, he turned to Himchan, a smile on his face, “Thank you hyung.”

“Anytime, Jongup… let’s go inside, okay?”

Jongup nodded, climbing out of the van and waiting for Himchan. As they approached the still open front door, Jongup reached out and took Himchan’s hand tightly.

He could see himself, much younger of course, running out of the open door, yelling back at his parents to hurry up as they followed him with laughter carrying the large basket because Jongup had insisted they could have a picnic in the front yard because the weather was nice.

As they crossed into the house, Jongup blinked back the threat of tears as he focused on the stairs. He could remember the times he jumped down the steps, jumping over the last few to land on the floor beneath them, he could remember all of the times that he’d shout to his parents about his success in clearing the jump, and how they’d always laugh and tell him he ‘stuck the landing, tens across the board!’.

“Himchan…”

“Yeah, Jongup…”

“C… can you come with me real quick?”

Himchan nodded, following Jongup’s footsteps as he walked around the grand staircase and to the door to the left of the large entry way. The heavy wooden door was shut, and for a moment, Jongup just stood there with his hand pressed to the wood.

Himchan took a deep breath, “Jongup… you don’t have to go in there…” He whispered, realizing instantly what was behind the door.

Everyone had always just assumed Jongup had finally opened up to Himchan after what had happened, and in a way, it was true. Himchan knew way more about the night Jongup’s parents were murdered then he would have liked… he had lost count of the times that he’d felt the covers being tugged back on his bed as Jongup came into his room after a nightmare, of the times Himchan would have to rock him back to sleep because the memories had been that real for him. Himchan had become accustom to the certain days in the year when Jongup’s smile wouldn’t be as bright and he’d sleep longer, push at his food and refuse to eat because of the special holidays that he’d never be able to spend with his parents again.

Jongup shook his head though, “Hyung… I need to…”

Himchan nodded, “I’m right here, okay?”

Jongup finally grabbed the doorknob, swinging the door open quietly. The flash of blood stained carpet took his breath away before he blinked away the memory and focused instead on the stainless cream carpet. He stepped farther into his father’s study with a deep breath and looked over to the office chair, ignoring the flash of how it had been the last time he’d been in the room. He reminded himself that it was okay now, the chair was pushed neatly behind the desk. Jongup walked away from Himchan, letting go of his hand as he walked over to the desk and gently ran his fingertips along the smooth wood.

He took a deep breath before letting out a small sigh before looking over to Himchan with a smile, “it’s all the same.”

Himchan nodded, walking over and hugging Jongup tightly, conveying everything that he wanted to tell him with just that one embrace.

Jongup hugged him back, staying like that for a few minutes before he finally broke away, “We should go check on Youngjae…”

“Alright…” Himchan smiled back, reaching up to ruffle Jongup's hair. "You sure  you're okay?"

"Mhmm..." Jongup nodded, smiling as he took HImchan's hand once more and left the study, leaving the door open behind him.

Woo~ Chapter 54. I... didn't plan to write any of this. I completely rewrote this chapter aside for one tiny scene that I had to edit to make work. OTL

I decided I wanted more Jongup at the last moment, haha. I hope you guys enjoy! 

Bleeh, I feel like i'm coming down sick... I got home at about... 7:30 I guess, and slept till nearly 4, and by the time I got up, my mum and dad were heading out to go out for the night and they took my neice and little sister with them, because i have to work tonight and.... I guess I've had better birthdays then this... I still didn't get any sushi... but my little sister did say she'd take me out for lunch tomorrow. I'm going to try to talk her into taking me to the Korean place I like rather then the stereotypical "asian buffet" because, although i really want some sushi right now.... kimbap and bulgogi sound so much better. 

Cuddles,

Lynn