27

Outdoor ice-skating, not on a winter season; it was only possible with Xiumin around. While keeping her balance, Lyorin skated through the ice that used to be the lake. Xiumin decided to freeze the lake, temporary of course; just so they could skate on it. He wanted to put a smile on Lyorin’s face when he noticed she had been rather down and glum these few days. He wasn’t sure what the real reason was but he hoped she would enjoy the little activity he prepared for her.

As she roamed freely and alone across the ice, Xiumin, Chanyeol, Suho and Lay watched her with a tinge of worry.

“Do you know what’s wrong with Lyorin?” Suho asked his brothers.

All of them shrugged their shoulders and gave him a dubious look. They weren’t sure themselves what was the cause of her sudden sullen mood. Every time any of the guys asked her, she would respond saying she was just fine. Obviously, the guys didn’t buy her words because her eyes and expressions were telling the otherwise.

Xiumin quickly tied the skate shoes and then stood up. “Let me talk to her.” He spoke and glided to her.

The lake was vast and she had the whole area to herself. She skated freely and could feel the light wind blew against her. Her long black hair flowed back and she closed her eyes, allowing her feet to control. Suddenly, she heard someone approaching her from the back. True enough, she felt a soft nudge. She opened her eyes, turned around and gave him a smile.

“Hey oppa ~” She greeted.

Even when she greeted him with a smile, Xiumin could sense the sadness in her voice. “Do you like it so far?” He asked. He wasn’t going to jump straight to the question. He would do it nice and slow.

“This is absolutely nice.” She told him.

“Wow, you’re actually a good skater.” He commented when she easily glided past, swirled around and even did a couple of graceful spins.

She smiled and replied. “Thank you. I used to skate a lot with Yoona.”

They skated for quite a while, holding hands and enjoying the outdoor air. Everything was lovely and peaceful.

“Let’s take a rest, shall we?” Xiumin pulled her arm and then skated to the grass patch beside the lake-turned-ice. She gladly followed him and took a seat while fixing on her skate shoes. Once she looked up after tying the laces, he decided to ask. “Lyorin ah ~ is something bothering you?”

She exhaled a long sigh before answering. “I’m fine ~” She mumbled.

“You’re definitely not fine. If you have anything you would like to speak, you can always share it with us. Don’t keep it to yourself.” He told her nicely.

She faced him and smiled. “Thank you.” However, she looked down instantly and began to speak softly. “I really wish I could talk to someone but ~”

“Why, what’s wrong? If you want to talk, I will listen. If it’s a secret, I will not tell anyone. I know there is something weighing you right?” He asked once again.

Her head hung low in misery. She didn’t know how to share it with him. She really wanted someone to talk to, but they were guys and they might not understand her pain. Somehow, she pulled herself and slowly shared. “There are times when I feel like I’m being appreciated but there are times when I feel like I’m just being used. I’m not even sure myself. My heart tells me to continue but my head keeps asking me to stop because I’m just wasting my time.”

Xiumin frowned, absolutely confused on what she just said. Clueless, he spoke. “I’m not really good with words but if I have to advise, then you should follow your heart!” He snapped his fingers and beamed in delight.

“HAHA! Oppa, you’re too cute.” She chuckled and pinched his bao-like cheeks. “You think so, that I should follow my heart?”

He nodded. “When you follow your heart, it usually encompasses the feelings as well. Personally, I believe when you follow you heart to make decisions; your feelings will help you filter out all the negativity and think more empathetically. Even though it hurts more but I guess you won’t regret it as much as when you use your head to decide. Because the head gives you only straight logical answers but it lacks the emotional aspects of it. So I say you should follow your heart.”

She listened fully at his explanation. Maybe what he just said is right. She should not over think and just trust her heart on this. If the heart asked her to stay, then she should.

And that meant she should continue liking him.

Even if it hurt so much, she should never falter.

Even if he didn’t choose her, she should never falter still.

“Oppa, I want thank you for the advice!” She exclaimed and pulled Xiumin into a tight hug.

He her back gently and replied confidently. “No problem, sweetie.”

However, he was actually bewildered at himself.

“Lyorin ah, I have no idea what just came out of my mouth but I hope you get better and receive all the happiness.” He silently thought.

~*~

Lyorin opened the refrigerator and searched for the carton of milk but surprisingly it wasn’t there. Out of a sudden, a deep male voice filled the silence and she almost screamed in shock.

“Are you looking for this?” Kai said, holding the milk carton. He appeared and stood beside the fridge door.

Lyorin closed the door and then grabbed the milk from him without saying anything. She realised it had been days since she last talked to him. It wasn’t because she didn’t want to talk to him. He was always with Sori or, maybe she should see it as, Sori was always with him. Regardless who was with whom, the fact that they were together day and night was enough for her to shun him away. Yes, she wanted explanation from him but a big part of her would rather not hear any. Because she was afraid it would not be in her favour.

She poured the milk in a glass silently as he watched her with a pair of concern eyes. They exchanged no words but Kai could feel the air getting tensed. Usually, the silence between them was always calm and peaceful however he felt different; almost in agony. When the silence became too unbearable, he went closer and asked.

“Lyorin, are you avoiding me?” He towered in front of her.

She replied without looking up at him. “Why should I be avoiding you?”

Instead of answering, she posed him back a question. He placed his hand on her chin and lifted up so that he could see her eyes. However, she gazed elsewhere, refusing the eye contact. He wished he could be truthful to her but everything was just not going the way he wanted. “I want you to know that whatever it is, you are still ~”

“Kai! Where are you?!” Sori’s loud voice interrupted his sentence.

Within seconds, Sori entered the kitchen and saw Kai and Lyorin, with his hand cupping her face. Of course, seeing both of them together sparked fury and instantly she stormed towards Lyorin and pushed her away.

“Excuse me, who do you think you are being so close with my boyfriend?!” She yelled.

Boyfriend?

Kai came between Sori and stopped her from pushing Lyorin further. “Sori, don’t.” He ordered.

Lyorin stood motionlessly, as if her whole body was numb. She didn’t quite register what Sori had just said to her. She hoped it was just a casual remark blurted in a fit of anger. Tried as she might to chuck the negative feelings away, deep inside she felt that it wasn’t just a mere remark. It sounded like a declaration.

“Hey you, let me warn you. Stay away from my boyfriend! Yes, you heard me right. Kai is my boyfriend and we’re a couple.” Sori jabbed her index finger quite roughly at Lyorin’s shoulder blade and spoke to her rudely, as always.

Kai pulled her and once again ordered her, actually more like he begged her. “Sori, please stop all this.”

She pushed him away and then reprimanded him. “Are you defending her?! Kai, I want you to tell her straight in the face that you are my boyfriend!”

Kai dropped his head miserably and looked down. Lyorin watched him as he refused to speak anything. She was still unsure what just happened and she wished Kai would explain. However, seeing his crestfallen face, she could sense the dilemma he was facing.

Sori clutched her stomach out of a sudden, as if in pain. Instinctively, Kai reached for her and held her shoulders. “Sori, are you okay?”

Frowning like she was in pain, she stammered. “T-tell her n-now.”

With a quivering voice, Kai spoke. “Sori and I, we’re back together.”

Kai couldn’t believe what he just said. As much as he wanted to deny the claim, it was the truth. They were back together as a couple. He made a promise to Sori and he was obliged to fulfil it. He hated himself for being such a weakling. He hated himself allowing this to happen.

But mostly, he hated for dragging Lyorin in his own mess and hurting her, yet again.

He couldn’t even look at her eyes. He wished to disappear and run away. He could prevent it if he wanted to. He could but he didn’t. 

This wasn’t what he planned for.

Lyorin felt like the world was crushing on her. When she heard those words from Kai, all she could feel is numbness. Probably because it was too painful that it numbed her entirely. She thought she had him. She thought the feelings they shared were mutual but once again, she was stupid to believe they had it. Being angry at him would be unfair because it had always been one-sided. It had always been just her. She blamed herself for wishing for something that wasn’t even for her in the first place. Her wish would only be a wish and never a reality. Kai was for Sori and Sori was for Kai. They shared a bond not even she, could break it. She should be happy for them but why was everything so painful.

Agonizingly, she dragged herself to the both of them. With an aching smile, she said. “Con-congratulations.” Her shoulders slumped in despair as she turned her heels and walked out of the kitchen.

Kai caught her arm but she brushed him off, without even looking at him. He watched her back slowly disappearing from his sight.

That was really the end, he silently thought.

(To be continued)

BRB while I go kick Jongin's  /YAAAATAAAAAA!!  >:-(