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10^th September 1995

Remember this date; the day when you took your first baby steps.

I was worried that you would fall, trip and hurt yourself. I could see your little hands reaching for the table top. You were struggling, trying to reach the highest end. You had an adorable frown plastered across your pretty face however, the determination in your eyes…. I remember seeing that determination in Jin Ah’s.

You were exactly like her.

In fact, I believe you are still just like her.

Beautiful large dark brown eyes, a delicate nose and cherry red lips. Even when you were just months old, you resembled a lot like your mother.

 You pulled yourself up, only to fall back to the floor. You tried once more but you just could not get on your own tiny feet. If only I could pick you up whenever you fall and stay by your side forever.

Your body was shaking.

Your hands were almost tired.

You were about to cry.

But, you never once stopped trying.

Every fall would only make your more determined than before.

You didn’t show any signs of giving up despite what seemed like an endless struggle.

Your arms stretched even longer than ever. Your eyes were nothing but full of concentration. Shakily, you pulled yourself up with all the strength that was left.

That moment, you and I had been waiting for. You finally stood up. You swayed a little but finally got up on your feet. I could see the amazement in your face. Your face brightened, your eyes sparkled and a thin smile formed.

Carefully, you started taking small steps. With every step, my heart jumped in joy and delight.

You finally made it all by yourself.

I could not control my tears. I was crying and smiling. You did it. You had always been a special child.

I want to hug you, kiss you and tell you how proud I am of you.

If Jin Ah was around, she would be proud of you as well.

Kim Lyorin, always remember that whatever you do…

Mum and Dad would always be proud of you even if we aren’t there.

Even if the whole world is against you, remember you still have us.

You can stand, fall, stand and fall again but never stop trying.

You have to persevere.

You have to live for me. You have to live for Jin Ah.

Mostly, you have to live for yourself.

You can do it.

I love you Lyorin.

Daddy loves you.

~*~

Lyorin walked all by herself towards the mansion. The guys were right behind her, but she was too afraid to face them. She lied and she knew they must be disappointed with her. However, she felt satisfied and her mind was now at ease after confronting Yongguk. She was angry, mad and hated seeing him. He hurt Aunt, he hurt herself and enough had been said. Yet, Lyorin could not help but felt that there was a part of him that meant what he said. In fact, when he asked her whether she ever believed him, truthfully, she did even if a little. It could be a mistake on his part. If it really was a mistake, it was only right for her to forgive him. She wasn’t someone who holds grudges over someone’s mistake. She sighed while kicking a random stone on the ground. Maybe, she was too harsh on him.

Putting aside Yongguk, she now had to face the wrath of EXO. It had been so long since they quarrelled or had any misunderstanding. Their relationship had been well so far but now, she felt like it may be tested once again. Yes, she admitted it was her fault for lying. But at least, everything turned out well that was all that mattered. She thought of something that could comfort them. She prayed it might actually work.

The journey back was long and dreadful even though it was only a short distance. The front door was just in front and Lyorin knew what she was about to face. Timidly, she took off her shoes and entered the big house. She listened carefully and heard the boys talking. They seemed like they were discussing over something; obviously over something she had done.

Kris and the rest of s had bitter and annoyed expressions, including Luhan. Luhan had always been Lyorin’s favourite. He was the one who could tolerate her attitude and behaviour. He had always been on her side and would only get himself in trouble with the leaders because of his support for her. However, Luhan was not going to let this go off easily. Suho, on the other hand, was trying to think through all the possibilities that could have resulted in this. Maybe, they were too lenient on her. If so, then it was time to step it up and not let such an event happened again. This was by far the riskiest Lyorin had gotten herself into. She could have been killed. Just the thought of it was enough to make him tremble, fearing for her life more than she feared for herself.

Sehun was no longer the cute and adorable maknae. His eyes were dark and piercing. Similarly, for the rest of the guys, they were not in their usual bubbly and lively mood. Their expressions darkened with every step they took.

Lyorin stepped inside the mansion and stood near the corner of the living room. The guys were still silent as one by one entered. Out of a sudden, the front door was slammed shut. She jumped in shock and realised at that moment, she was in grave trouble.

She looked down, avoiding the sharp glares from all of the guys. She rubbed her palms together, trying to soothe herself. That was the first time, she actually felt really terrified of them.

Kris wanted to speak but Suho prevented him from doing so because he knew very well Kris would burst. Instead, Suho stomped towards her and stood in front.

“Look at me.” He said calmly yet serious.

Lyorin slowly looked up and faced him nervously. 

“What was all that about?” Suho asked, still glaring with his dark terrifying eyes.

She swallowed a saliva before replying rather feebly, “I-I was just –“ She stuttered. “I wanted answers.” She ended.

“Answers?! What answers?!” He asked, almost yelling. It echoed across the house which made it even more menacing.

Lyorin took a step back. Her body was shaking and she could only hear hard breathing sounds coming out from Suho. He was absolutely angry and she could see it in his eyes. She wanted to cry and run away but that would not be her.

Lyorin was not someone who would run away from problems.

“I just wanted to know why he did it. That’s all.” Lyorin bravely said. It was really the truth. All she wanted is to know why Yongguk hurt Aunt.

However, the boys took her answer as an act of defiant. The way she replied seemed as though it wasn’t a serious affair which made the boys grew more infuriated by her lack of self awareness. Chanyeol ran his hands across his hair and let out a growl. He felt Lyorin wasn’t even sorry after what she had done. If Lyorin was a boy, he would have sent a punch to knock some sense. Some shook their heads disapprovingly, while others had their fists tightly clenched. They were utterly shocked at how lightly she thought of all this.

Kris could not tolerate it any longer. He stormed forward and yelled at the top of his lungs, “DID YOU REALISE WHAT YOU’VE JUST SAID?! YOU WANTED ANSWERS?! SO NOW THAT YOU’VE GOTTEN THE ANSWERS, ARE YOU HAPPY? ARE YOU SATISFIED?!”

Lyorin took another step backward but her back was already against the wall. She gulped and stared at Kris’s bloodshot eyes. Her hands were trembling and her mind was numb as she struggled to stay strong and calm. She placed her right palm on her chest as though it would help to slow down her heartbeat. She mumbled softly, “I’m f-fine. There is nothing to worry.” She tried to justify her stand.

Kai who had been watching the entire time could no longer just watched. He needed to do something. He needed to knock some sense in her brain. He marched forward and pinned her against the wall, quite roughly. Lyorin looked at him with widened eyes. She was petrified. She then closed her eyes thinking that Kai would do something nasty towards her.

“Open your eyes and look at me!” Kai yelled right at her nose. She opened her eyes slowly and looked at him pleadingly. “You still don’t get it, right? Let me sink this in to that brain of yours. You do not meet up with anyone as and when you feel like it or when you want answers. You do not meet up with that , alone. Do you want to know why?! Because let me tell you this, he can kill you, I repeat, he can kill you. Do you know what is killing someone means?! He can rip out your heart or shred you into pieces, without even thinking twice about it. Another thing, you belong to us. Let me get this straight, you are EXO’s Star. If you are not happy being a part of us, I suggest you join Hyunsik and his little gang. You can report everything to him. Maybe, he could tolerate your nonsense because I, for sure had enough of your mindless behaviour.” His words cut Lyorin’s heart so deep causing tears to well in her eyes. She tried not to cry but instantly, she felt drops of water flowing down her cheeks.

Kai looked down and composed himself before he continued talking, “I beg you. I sincerely beg you. Just for once, treasure your life.” He vented all the frustrations he had bottled up and let it all out by punching the wall beside her. Lyorin cowered in fear and sobbed even harder. The wall cracked but Kai’s knuckle didn’t bleed. Instead, he was shaking so hard that the rest of the boys had to intervene.

He looked like he was going for another punch. However Luhan immediately stopped and scolded, “Kai, that’s enough!”

By then, Lyorin was covering her crying face with her hands and was trembling. She leaned against the wall and slid her back down. She hugged her knees and continued sobbing. Kai realised he had gone too far. However, he needed to send a clear message to her. He hated seeing her cry but he was left with no choice. He had to resort to this.

Lyorin’s cries echoed the mansion and the boys felt guilty and sorry. Some punched the air, some stomped their feet and some let out a furious growl. They were angry at her but watching her cry was enough to soften their hearts; to forgive her instantly.

Kai walked away and stood far. He was frustrated at himself and needed some breathing space. Without saying anything, he disappeared out of sight. The rest of the guys knew Kai would do that. Possessing teleportation powers, Kai had the freedom to leave and disappear as and when he wished. They decided to let him go.

Luhan knelt down and patted her back. Suho came over as well and spoke to her tenderly, “Lyorin, stop crying please. I’m sorry for yelling at you. We didn’t mean to be harsh towards you. We’re just worried for your safety. Please, don’t cry.” Gently, he wrapped his arms around her small body and hugged tightly.

Kris exhaled loudly and walked away. He couldn’t bear to watch her in that state. His heart was in pain. Once again, she had to witness his flaring temper. He didn’t want to show it, especially to her but at times, he just could not control himself. He had only himself to blame.

(To be continued)