I stared at him a couple of seconds without answering. Then I closed the door.

I leaned at the door with my back, staring dumbfounded in front of me at nothing.

It knocked on the door. I opened it to find Jonghyun stand there again.

“Are you alright?” he asked worried. I just blinked and then I closed the door again.

When I had done that I started rubbing my eyes with my hand.

It was not ing Jonghyun standing outside my door. It was not. This was a ing dream or I had gone crazy or something because this was just not ing happening-

It knocked again.

“Can you just... Stop closing the door?” Jonghyuns soft voice suggested through the keyhole. I wet my lips wondering how to tackle this, then I decided to be a man and open the door.

We stared at each other for a while, after half a minute or so he started to look uncomfortable.

“Can I come in?” he asked. “I don't want anyone to see me out here.”

Well, if this is a dream I better not vast it, I though as I stepped back to let him in. It felt like all my common sense was blown out of my head and when I had closed the door behind him I didn't know at all what to do. Should I scream? Should I smack him in the head and kidnap him? Should I beg him sign everything in the apartment?

Because I had always told myself that if I met one of my favorite idols I would do that. Or I would just die on the spot, but on that point I was seriously half way there. My heart was still pounding but I had stopped breathing.

He on the other hand looked calmly around in my apartment as he took of his shoes, he had these really nice perfectly white shoes who looked expensive as hell. Maybe I should throw up on them?

“So here's were you live. I imagined you live much smaller cause it's in north Dongdaemun when I was checking your address,” he said.

“Was you the one who called an hour ago?” I asked.

“Yes.” he answered.

“How could you check my address?” I asked him. “I mean... How come... Why are you here?”

“I took your number from your phone when you were unconsciousness. I'm sorry that I looked in your phone but seriously, I couldn't get any contact with you and we had to leave so I just did it...”

So that was the reason why my phone was on the pallet and not in my pocket. Cause Jonghyun had took it when I was unconsciousness and looked through it. Well isn't that ing perfect...

“That's... Really creepy,” I said quietly.

“I had to check that you were OK,” he continued and I guessed he hadn't heard what I said.

“You couldn't just have called?” I asked.

“Nah, that's not personal enough.”

“Because it was two weeks ago so isn't it kind of obviously I'm OK right now?”

He then turned his gaze and stare at me, the brown round eyes looked questioning.

“No,” he said. “No, that's not obvious at all. So, are you OK?”

I put on some tea and then changed, I got kind of panicky choosing clothes cause I couldn't come up with any nice looking outfit and it ended up with a really big skirt and some leggings to that.

Jonghyun was staring at our bookshelf as I returned. I served the tea and some cookies and said we could sit in the living room.

I was kind of scared that my boyfriend would return cause he didn't like if I spent time with guys, but at the other hand this was to absurd already without the situation that he got of from work four hours to early and went home.

He asked again if I was OK when I seated myself.

“Well, all I did was fainting,” I said, “It's not like I broke anything...” I stopped when I looked at him, because -

He had this light blue jeans on and then a normal t-shirt on, everything really simple, and his browned hair wasn't as shiny as it used to be in pictures but it still looked really good.

He looked so normal. And at the same time perfect. I felt my fangirling-feels bubble up inside of me but I told myself in a really harsh voice inside my head You can't start fangirling now your stupid goat this is a real person he is not in your computer and you can't act all the way you want to...

He took a sip from the tea, he looked kind of concerned.

“Well, I'm just going to say what I think,” he said. “The book you made, 'Dino and the world', I have really appreciated it. It's about this little dinosaur being scared of big plants or a playground or other things he discovers just because he doesn't know that they're not dangerous. So when ever I've been scared during the past years I though of that book and gained strength because I though of myself as that dinosaur, that I don't have to be scared cause probably it's nothing dangerous, I'm just not understanding it.”

He smiled a little and I once again felt how unrealistic it was that he actually had read that book, even more that he really had liked it.

He continued, “So, sometimes I wonder what kind of person had wrote that book. I though 'It must be someone who really got the meaning of life,' or 'It must be someone who is genuine happy'.” He turned my gaze at me. “And then it turned out to be you.”

I didn't know at all how to answer so I just leaned back in the armchair I was sitting in, trying to get away from his burning gaze.

“A girl who doesn't even smile.”

My hear sank. I looked down in my tea.

That's true, why doesn't I smile? I though.

Because you're not happy, a oppressed voice deep down in me said.

“So now I really wonder, is everything OK?”

I sighted as I looked at him.

“It... has been a lot lately. But I'm fine, really,” my mouth said. “You don't have to worry, it's nice of you but you should really get back to your life.” I got up from the chair. “Should I lead you out?” I asked him, feeling kind of depressed.

“Not yet,” he said and took a cookie.

I stared down at him, urging him to explain.

“You made me happy so many times,” he said and gobbled down the cake. Our eyes met and he looked at me with determination. “Now that I finally met you I have to at least try to pay it back.”

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There's a lot of things you should do in life, But what I really should do is to try to make this fanfiction more appealing, and that by have head images over every chapter with crazingly hot Jonghyun-

But, the map on my computer with K-pop pics is like more unorganized than my room.

And my room is a in mess.

So, we'll see.