Well, my life couldn't get much more worse than this.

I felt so naouseous I had to go home before lunch.

Jonghyun texted me wondering where I was but all I could think was You're ing bastard why do you do this to me and I didn't answear.

Because this wouldn't make me stop being in love with Jonghyun, I knewed myself to well. When I fell I fell hard, and I wouldn't be able to live with this with Dongmin. I had to break up with him, despite the consequenses.

But my bad luck continioued and Dongmin managed to get ahead of me.

While I was making dinner thinking of how I would break the news for him he suddenly came into the kitchen and asked, with an upset voice “Who is this Jonghyun?”

I blinked a couple of times and then turned to face my fiance holding my cellphone.

It took me a while to get the situation.

“Are you looking through my phone?” I asked.

“I saw that you got a message from a guy wondering how it was and then I looked through your conversation and he seems to care a little to much,” he said his voice both shaking and at the same time it was sharp as needles.

Well, I though so as well, I though feeling how I tensed up.

“He's a little weird, but he's just a co-worker,” I said feeling incredibly stupid to have to defend this when I clearly was the thief.

“Well, you doesn't seem that way.” He said angrily. “I'm sick of this work thing and you coming home late playing adult. And meeting co-workers and getting drunk with them. It's time to choose, me or work.”

Now my chin dropped and I didn't care to not let it show.

“You got to be kidding me!” I said.

“You think you are something, making money and meeting people but you are nothing! Nothing more than my wife and you should be happy that I lower myself and take someone as ty as you.”

He looked like a angry beast, his face getting heated. I backed a step closer to the oven.

I wanted to give up. To cry. To beg him for forgivnessm, to beg him to not leave me alone.

But then I though about my best friends, who was back in my life and that always had told me that I was worth so much more than this.

I though about all the friends I had gotten lately, I though about colorful Hee Young and sweet sweet Yonghwa and the members of Shinee who always greeted my happily despite how tired they where.

I though about the little dog Zelda which I walked with Taemin three days a week.

I though about the stars that was named after me and Jonghyun. To remind you that we'll always be close and you'll never are alone, wven though we physically can't be together.

And I realise I wasn't alone. I was never alone, and even if I left Dongmin I wouldn't be alone.

I stopped being scared.

“I'm tired of this ,” I said feeling the heat of pure hate boiling inside of me. It must have shown because now Dongmin took was the one taking a step back. “I'm tired of you treating me like . I'm tired of everything about you. I hate you. And I'm going to leave you. Right now.”

I left the food cocking as I slid myself past my ex boyfriend and went to the bedroom to pack.

I don't think he realised what I was doing until I was actually standing outside his apartment, fully packed ready to leave.

At the time I had packed he had managed to drink four bottles of Soju and was pretty much wasted.

“So, what are you gonna do whitout me, your little blond piece of ?” He asked me in a really slured voice. “Where are you gonna live, huh? How are you gonna stay in Korea? You think you can live without me?”

This only made me determinded that this was absolutely the best decision I had ever ing made.

As I proceeded down the hallway to the elevator he screamed after me “You'll be coming back to me, you'll se! I will be seeing you crawling back here any day soon! You think you can live without me, huh!?”

The elevator was here and I stepped inside of it, heavily sightening with relife. When the doors closed and shut the sound of my ex boyfriend out it was the last time I ever saw or heard of him, and I knewed it would be that way those seconds as well.

I had no where to go except work, with was incredibly sad but my life couldn't get more ty so I didn't really care.

It was only one place on earth right now I would call mine, and it was the little storage room on fourth floor with the sofa.

SM was dark now in evening time, the guard looked a little surprised but didn't ask when I checked in. All the light was lit down and I went up in the big, silent building.

In the room I broke down completely. I cried myself to sleep in all of my clothes, not thinking at all that maybe the next day someone would come in to the room and see me. I just sleept like it was the last night I was sleeping in my life.