When I was nervous for something that would occur on that day, I did my make up in a long time in the morning. Even though I worked with it it helped me relax in some strange way.

So after doing my make up in one and a half hour, lookin like some kind of doll, I went of to work.

I was going to be Jonghyuns makeup-artist today and I would meet the guys in on of the practice-rooms. I was so nervous I almost hoped that he would be sick or someone would kill me, because I had promised myself that when I saw him I was going to pull him to the side and tell him that I was in love with him. And that I couldn't do anything about it, it was a fact and that if he didn't like me we had to work around it.

If he didn't like me. Just the though hurted indispensible. But that though about he maybe liking me had grown rather big since yesterday. Because why would he act that way otherwise? I could only come up with that he liked me or he was sick in the head.

Hee Young and I was preparing some brushes when Jonghyun entered the room talking to some other girl.

My heart started beating like crazy. I dropped the brushes and went towards him.

“Jonghyun, I have to talk to you, in private,” I breathed.

But I felt unsure when I saw the stare he was giving me.

First it looked like it was filled with hate for a second. But then it suddenly softened up and he started to smile, and that smile scared me a little because it didn't look real.

“Hanbyul-ah!” he said happily but didn't look happy. “I also have something to tell you.”

I blinked at him when he brought forward the girl. I didn't recognize her at all but she was pretty, tall to be a korean girl (which meant she was as long as me) with long black hair and an light makeup. She smiled just a little when she reach out her hand to greet me.

“Shin Se Kyung,” she said as she shook my hand. “I'm an acrtess.”

Now I recognized her. “Mihi,” I murmured.

“So, yeah...” Jonghyun placed his arm around her shoulders and smiled cheepishly at her. She on the other hand had this shy smile and she started to nervously play with her hair. “We're dating.”

It felt like I had been pushed really hard in the chest, I lost my breath completely. The words “Jonghyun, I think I am in love with you” suddenly was stuck down my throat. They had been so close to come out that I felt to just scream them just to get rid of them but I managed to contain myself, I even managed to keep my mouth closed even though my chin had dropped to the floor.

My facialexpression didn't seem to matter anyway, because Jonghyun wasn't looking at me. He had his eyes glued to Shin se kyung, his smile was one of the widest I ever had seen and his eyes had a spark in them which I had never seen.

She giggeled a little when he said the word date, but otherwise she seemed to be a rather composed and in control girl and I realised how happy she must be if she hardly could contain her emotions.

Suddenly they both looked up at me. I realised they wanted some kind of reaction from me and I had to concentrate to give a kind of natural one because it felt like I had forgot how to feel.

“Oh,” I said trying my hardest not to show how enourmously let down I felt. “That's great.”

Jonghyun blinked at me a couple of times. “Yes, it is.” he said. “So, was it something you wanted to say to me?”

“Mihi, do you now where the sand-colored conceler is?” Hee Young suddenly interrupted.

She ing saved my life there. I drew the first breath in probably a minute as I looked back at Hee Young.

“I think I know where it is, I'll look for it soon.” I said. Hee Youngs question made me snap back into reality a little and I turned back to Jongyun and his girl. “No, no, it wasn't anything important. Just a thing about your makeup but I think I'll talk to Hee Young about it.”

My whole body shook as I said those words but I think he didn't hear it.

He sighted. “I though you would say something like that,” he said.

“So, everyone,” Hee Young came up by my side, today she had neonpink glasses and big plastick pearls in all the rainbows colors beaded into her hair. “Let's start! Jonghyun, where is the rest of your fellow members?”