I didn't really get what the show was about but I didn't use to do that with Korean reality shows. I did the makeup for Chorong from A-pink which sincerely must have been the sweetest girl I had ever met both on the inside and the outside, she talked really happy about everything from earth to moon and I was really impressed that a girl who seemed to have everything still had so many dreams.

I held myself in the background as they started filming. They all looked completely perfect but my eyes were always drawn to Jonghyun.

He hadn't changed that much. His skin and hair had both become a little darker, but nothing else. It hurt a little inside when I saw him, wearing plain sneakers, dark blue jeans and a white t-shirt with black prints. I liked when he had that simple look. He smiled happily and pulled away his fringe constantly either with his fingers or with a twitch on his head and I realized I really liked that bad habit of his as well. Well, , I liked everything about him.

But that's OK. Like is OK as long as it isn't love, I though and tore my nails, a bad habit I had myself.

After four hours we were done. “Either you follow us back our you stay here,” our producer said.

“I'll stay here,” I said, both because I wanted to enjoy Lotte World which I never had before and it was closer to home than SM were.

So I wandered around alone, enjoying just being able to wander around alone. I realized I seldom was alone even though I often felt that way, if I wasn't working either Dongmin or Yonghwa was at my side or I had Zelda to take care of.

There were lots of stalls for games and I decided to try one were you where throwing balls because I really wanted to win that Picachu which was the first price. I tried two times still not able to get down all the cans I needed to get down.

“One more!” I said. He gave me five balls and I had to hit four cans.

I hit the first one. Also the second one and the third one went down.

But the fourth one I missed. I swore as I reached for the fifth ball when I didn't found it there.

A ball suddenly flew by my head, hitting the last can. A read lamp started to blink frenetically as a loud noise was heard.

“Congratulations, you've just won a picachu!” the stallworker said and took down a pica and gave it to the man who had thrown the ball.

“Thank you so very much...” I started to say but completely haltered when I saw that it was Jonghyun.

My heart dropped and I stepped back, first staring at him and then when I've taken in that it was him and yea he was kind of standing in front of me. I looked down in the ground. I didn't feel happy at all as he gave me the Picachu. He had a facial expression which was hard to read, I couldn't at all tell if he was happy or sad. He smiled a little but that smile didn't reach the eyes, they told a different story.

“Here's the next time. Now you also have something to remember me with.” he said and it felt like I almost had forgot about his voice. But only almost.

I blinked as I looked down on the stuffed animal.

“Thank you.” I said silently. Jonghyun didn't say anything for a while.

“Hanbyul-ah,” he then said. “Why... Like... Why have you avoided me lately?”

I my lips and didn't look up at him or answer. He stepped closer.

“I don't think you quiet get how much I've missed you,” he said.

Jonghyun, why are you telling me things like these?

I still didn't say anything.

“Didn't you like to become my friend? Didn't we have fun?”

“Of course we had,” I said. I sighted. “I mean... Of course we had.”

We stood their in our silence, listening to the millions of sound trying to come in from the outside.

He suddenly smiled a little more, not a completely happy smile but a little happier than before.

“Do you want to go around with me a bit? Play some games, ride some attractions?”

I really didn't wanted to do that because that would just mess everything up, but if it was something I wanted to do less than that it had to be hurting him.

“Yes, of course I want,” I said with a small voice.

We played some games. We rode some attractions. And soon I couldn't ignore the fact that it was really hard not having fun with Jonghyun.

It was so natural to laugh with him, to hit him lightly, to mess with him. And he did the same thing and it felt like the last month hadn't existed at all, that we hadn't been a day away from each other.

“You wanna ride that one?” He asked and pointed at an water attraction were you rode down a waterfall.

“Sure,” I said, wondering where all of this would take me in the bitter end.