jealousy?

Is this fate or a dream ?

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Oh god today is going to be a long day, just how do these guys do it? Are they even human?? Well at least now I'll know the reason behind why they eat so much, yet never gain any weight! ~.~ so jealous 
 
"Hae-mi? Are you okay?" 
 
"Huh oh yea, I'm fine, I was just thinking" 
 
"Okay"
 
"Okay guys, let's go!" our manager said 
 
We got into two vans and this time since Alex didn't have any classes either she came along with us. Alex and I went in a different car because of the limited space the vans had.
 
"Unni?” Alex asked
 
"Hmm?" I replied, still looking at my phone.
 
"Have you heard of DBSK?"                                                                                                                             
 
"Nope. Is that a new brand?"
 
"Ani, they're a band" 
 
"Oh, ha-ha I'm so awkward with music" 
 
"It’s okay, do you want to listen to them?" 
 
"Sure, are they any good?"
 
"Best of the best" 
 
"Better than SHINee???" 
 
"More experienced" 
 
"Ahhh" 
 
"You know SHINee?" 
 
"Yea, my old friend Ki bum’s part of SHINee" 
 
"Ha-ha I know him too" 
 
"Really?" 
 
"Yea I met him a long time ago" 
 
"Really!!" 
 
"Yep, how about you?" I asked
 
"We’ve been friends for ever" she replied
 
"Really?!? Hey I'm going to see them while they practice do you want to come along?" 
 
"My original plan, unni what's in those boxes in the back?" 
 
"Their lunch boxes, I made lunch for everyone, the guys, us and SHINee" 
 
"Awe that's so nice" 
 
"Thanks. What’s the name of this song?”
 
"It’s their Japanese song called why did I fall in love with you" 
 
"It’s really good, though I have no idea what'd going on since I don't know what their saying" 
 
"It’s about this guy who likes a girl and she's getting married to someone else, he wants to stop them but in the end he wishes her a happy marriage" 
 
"Whoa, that's deep" 
 
"Yea unni do you want to meet them" 
 
"Sure, are they good looking?" 
 
"They are gods I tell you. Gods. Especially Yunho"
 
"Sure, with all your praising, I really want to see them (>人<;)" 
 
"Hehe"
 
"Whoa where are we?" 
 
"This is the SM building" 
 
"Whoa soo cool"
 
"I had the same reaction" 
 
"Ha-ha, oh my god what does it look like on the inside??" 
 
"No words to describe it" 
 
"In a good way or a bad way?" 
 
"I guess in a good way" 
 
"Can’t wait to go inside" 
 
To: Key 
 
IM HERE!!! Hehe I'll see you in a few with a friend ☆*:.。. o(≧▽≦)o .。.:*☆
 
"Let’s go inside" 
 
"Are those the guys?" I asked looking at the large group of hot guys
 
"Yep.” She said facing me, then turned to face the guys “HEY!! CAN YOU GUYS HELP US??" she said in a loud enough tone for them to hear.
 
They guys came to us in a few seconds, Donghae being the first person to run towards us and Siwon being the second person.
 
Honestly how many times is Siwon going to make me think about how y he is? OMG. CANNOT GET HIS ABS OUT OF MY MIND!!  ~.~ I'm going to be married to Donghae, I can't think like this. Does Donghae have abs? GAHHHH!!~ I’m going crazy with my own thoughts
 
"Hae-mi let's go" Donghae said as he grabbed my hand. 
 
The guys took the stairs while Alex and I took the elevator. Siwon just wouldn't let me take the stairs (。-_-。) but oh well, when we got to the room I noticed we were right next to SHINee's practice room. 
 
"Alex let's go say hi" 
 
"Okay" 
 
As soon as we entered the practice room, the music stopped but that was only because it was the end of the song 
 
"Okay guys a few minutes break" Onew said 
 
"Oh!" Taemin said 
 
"It’s Nuna" 
 
/is he talking about me or Alex? /
 
"HAMMY!!!! ALEX!!!!!" Key said with childish excitement in his voice 
 
"KEYYY" Alex and I said at the same time 
 
He ran up to Alex and hugged her first and then hugged me. God I swear his hugs are like death hugs. 
 
"Key... I... Can't... Breath" I managed to say 
 
"Oh sorry" 
 
"How do you guy know each other?" 
 
"Donghae’s sister" I pointed to Alex 
 
"Donghae’s wife" Alex pointed to me 
 
The guys laughed and we had a good five minutes until Kyuhyun and Donghae walked past the practice room looking at us, wondering if it were really Alex and I. Yes, it was written all over their faces. 
 
"Sorry guys we have to go" 
 
"Wait- I almost forgot, here, I made lunch for you guys" 
 
"Awe Nuna that's so nice" 
 
"Hehe thanks" 
 
"Bye, see you later" 
 
"Bye ~" I said as I hugged key one last time. 
 
"Hae-mi" 
 
"Hmm?" 
 
"Do you see Donghae’s face?" 
 
"Uhuh" 
 
"Can you tell he's jealous?" 
 
"Ha-ha yea” 
 
"Korea’s shame, their just friends" 
 
"I-I didn't ask" he stuttered /ha-ha so cute, awe he's blushing now/
 
"Aigoo Uri Donghae is jealous of a friend" Heechul said 
 
Donghae pov 
 
We were walking to our practice room and it was all normal until I saw Hae-mi and key hugging. I don't know what it's called or how to describe it, but it's like every fiber in me wanted to barge in and stop them from hugging. I don't know why, she smiling so much too.
 
"Korea’s shame, their just friends" Alex said 
 
A flood of relief overcame me, I sighed a sigh of relief on the inside . 
 
"I-I didn't ask" I stuttered. I stuttered. Why did I stutter??? When do I ever stutter???? Great now the members are going to tease me about this (。-_-。) 
 
"Aigoo Uri Donghae is jealous of an old friend" Heechul said. Hyung. I really don't need you to m-... Jealous?? I'm jealous of whom? Key? What?? Who said so? Of
Couse I'm not!!! Why would I be??
 
"Let’s go" Hae-mi said Holding my hand as if nothing unusual happened. Isn't hugging just a greeting? Yea, a greeting. 
 
"Ya Ya! Quit being all lovey dovey in front of us" Sungmin hyung said 
 
Ha-ha, just because he said that, I'm going to do it even more
 
*Chu* I kissed Hae-mi on the cheek 
 
She just smiled, I swear she looked like a tomato, her cheeks were so red, and their sort of chubby so it looks cute. 
 
The other guys were now making the same faces since Kyuhyun and Alex were acting all lovey dovey in front of all of us. 
 
"Can we focus on practice now?" Leeteuk finally said 
 
Hae-mi grabbed my hand and quickly kissed my cheek
 
"Good luck" she said still blushing
 
My heart was pounding like crazy; all I could think about was Hae-mi and the concert. I probably haven't practiced like this in a while.
 
"Oh my god, Donghae calm down" Eunhyuk said, stopping practice
 
"Huh?" I looked up
 
"Too much force" he said
 
"Sorry" oh god, I need to control my emotions ~_~
 
"Okay guys back into formation"
 
To think she would kiss me. I blushed, remembering the small kiss. The entire time, all I could think about was Hae-mi. im not going to lose the bet Hae-mi, I’ll make you fall in love with me, you’ll be head over heels in love with me. I smirked looking at Hae-mi through the mirror.
 
We all practiced like no tomorrow until it was 1:30 and the manager came in
 
"Are you guys ready?" he asked
 
"NAE~~" we all replied powerfully 
 
I looked at Hae-mi, she and Alex were talking 
 
"Hae-mi?" I said, trying to get her attention
 
"Nae?" she said looking towards me
 
"Are you and Alex going to our concert?" I asked
 
She just looked at me blankly 
 
"Hae-mi do you want to go?" Alex asked her
 
"Yea of course!" she said almost immediately  
 
"Okay then KAJA (lets go)" our manager said, leading the way to the van.
 
"Come to think of it, this is Hae-mi nuna's first time at our concert right?" Ryeowook asked
 
"Uhuh lets show her what we've got" Leeteuk said holding up a fist 
 
"Wait but didn’t you go see Donghae at his performances?" kyuhyun asked 
 
"Huh? Oh no, I didn’t know what super junior was" she said 
 
"Ouch" Heechul said
 
"S-Sorry, it’s just that im not that into music, -well I am- it’s just that I haven’t listened to Korean music in a while so im a bit behind." Hae mi looked flustered. Nice cover up Hae-mi 
 
"Ha-ha it’s okay, were called Super Junior" Shindong said
 
"Ha-ha I know that much" she laughed
 
"We debuted in 2005" Leeteuk said
 
"And I joined in 2006" Kyuhyun added
 
"Our first album is-" Siwon started
 
"Let’s continue this chat after the concert" Leeteuk said as we got in the vans and drove away to the stadium while Alex and Hae-mi rode in their own car. 
 
When we got there I swear I felt more nervous than usual, was it because Hae-mi was there? Nah...
 
"Alex, Hae-mi" Yesung said
 
"Yes?"
 
"You guys should sit in the front row"
 
"We were going to"
 
"Okay just making sure"
 
"Good luck guys"
 
“Thanks” we all said
 
We got on stage and I saw Hae-mi and Alex in the front row cheering us on, more than nervous I felt encouraged.
 
I can do this I thought.
 
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SJ_ELF_1513
i honestly feel like the next chapter is boring.... (ch 29)

Comments

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PhinkLipsThick
#1
Chapter 40: So good! I want a sequel! Fighting authornim!
peiyan #2
Chapter 21: ermm.. may i know the song by ryeowook?
Hawaianlocomoco
#3
Chapter 8: omg im so confuse with the story with so many names!!!
sulminnie #4
Chapter 40: i really had fun with your fanfic.. :) the story is good and the sequencing is all nice and arranged.thanks..keep on writing :)
sulminnie #5
Chapter 28: super love the pics and gifs..:) <3
sulminnie #6
Chapter 3: well, i guess elfs will not going to hurt girls who will be loved by any members of super junior :)
ch3nya #7
Chapter 40: :D i loved this i couldnt stop reading once i started
KKyungMi
#8
Chapter 40: So.. this is over. I'm gonna miss it a lot... i never thought i was gonna love this story so much but it was beautiful. Thank you so much.
KeyLovaSHINeeForeva
#9
POVs:

I advise that you avoid changing POVs in first-person. First-person is meant for one person's thoughts only. First-person omniscient IS possible, but it's rare, and third-person omniscient would make things flow much more smoothly. The sharp and detached changed POVs between each person does not allow for smooth transitions to pass through. Also, when denoting locations, please use sentences in place of using "@ _____'s House", "At The Restaurant", etc.

Vocabulary:

Please avoid including computer language in the fic. If you wish to use Korean, do as your desire commands. Lol. I personally don't to exemplify the beauties and extravagance of English, plus barely of the people on here are Korean. (Note: There is no such thing as "Bwoh?". LOLOL. It's just "Mwoh?".) Your vocabulary has been getting so much better lately, and it shows in the character descriptions of your Foreword. Please fuse those same big words into your story! (: Both the readers and I will love it! (Plus, it makes you look intelligent. Hehe.)

Flow:

I'm kind of confused on this part. Sometimes, it seems as though there are two completely different stories going on with the same people. Otherwise, the flow feels fine. However, I would love it if you would expand upon what the characters are preparing for and how they reach it instead of moving to a completely different scene to start a new plot.

Overall, this story is humorous, enjoyable, and noteworthy, but fixing the grammar would really help gain more professional subscribers (by professional I mean good writers and all). I laughed, I smiled, I took relish in the occasional moments of peace. But for now, this story needs a continuation. Go write!

(P.S. To conclude, I'd like to mention my astonishment at your ability to update so consistently. I am SO temperamental when it comes to writing. It all depends on my mood, fatigue level, and willing to sit for five hours and write, but knowing that you can update so quickly inspires me.)