I went out of my car and walked briskly towards the entrance. I really hate this place ever since I was a kid, my Mom would give me lots of gummy bears just to go here. She would 'bribe' me and say, "We'll go to the amusement park later, if you agree to have a check up" Of course, It always does the trick  . My head looked up and observed the thin clouds that engulfed the blue ocean above me. I closed my eyes and sighed. I can do this!

 

I was welcomed with the smell of medicine. It made me feel sick, I wanted to run away from this place, but I was forced to go here. My feet brought me in front of a white door that has a silver thin plate glued on the center.

 

"Mr. Park MD" I mumbled and slowly twisted the doorknob. I have to admit that I was getting nervous and nervous by the second, my heart beat was indeed fast. I fully opened the door and saw a tall man sitting on the table with his white lab coat and black eye glasses. He looked at me and smiled that showed his dimples.

 

"Good Morning Taeyeon~ah"  He bowed respectfully and so, did I.

Another figure caught my attention, she was on the corner of the room wearing a white suit with her hair completely tied in a bun and her uniform neatly worn, I suppose she's the nurse. 

"Good Morning, Ms. Kim" She bowed. I bowed back and gave Leeteuk a questioning face

"She's the new nurse and " He looked down "My g-girlfriend" I smiled and pat his shoulders

"Annyeonghaseyo, Ms. Kim. Jeishi Lee imnida " She went towards me and bowed respectfully,

"So, are you ready for the check up? " Leeteuk asked me while he fixed his stethoscope while Jeishi helped him. I saw them both blushed from the sudden closeness. I smirked. If I can only push them, I would've done it minutes ago.

"A-are y-you r-ready, Taeyeon~ah " I saw pink big circles around his cheeks

" Yes "I sternly said, I'm trying my best not to be nervous.

"Don't be nervous, It's okay "Jeishi said in a calm voice that made my body relax, a little.

 

Leeteuk signaled me to sit on the chair across his desk while the nurse went to get the things that he needed. I heard clinging of metals from the place where Jeishi was. It made me gulp. Sudden questions flashed on my head. What if I can feel the pain. What if I can't do it. What if..if..I woke up in a white island?

 

He flicked his fingers in front of me " Stop thinking about worse scenarios " He waved his hands while saying the last words. Jeishi placed the things that Dr. Leeteuk needs. He sat on the chair and grabbed something from the silver tray on his desk. Leeteuk opened my eyes using his thumb and index finger. I saw a white, round light and a doctor tilting his head seriously. He removed his fingers and opened my other eye.

 

" Good " The nurse jotted something down on her memo pad. 

" Okay, I want you to breathe slowly as possible " He said while I nodded.

Like Mr. Park said, I breathe slowly as I could, he put the stethoscope on my chest and felt the cold metal touched my skin through the thin cloth. He closed his eyes and felt my heart beat. I saw his eyebrows furrowed and it made me nervous.

" Taeyeon~ah, calm down. " He said while I nodded and relaxed myself.

 

He removed the stethoscope from my chest and slowly shook his head " So, what's happening? " I tried to be cheerful as possible, but failed as my voice cracked.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

" Taeyeon~ah, it's getting bad. "

 

I felt a slight pang hit my chest. I was lost for words. Lost in emptiness. I put my elbows on my kees and held my hands, ever so tightly while my head hung low. 

 

" Don't worry, Taeyeon~ah everything's gonna be okay. " Jeishi said while she rubbed my back. I wanted to believe her, but I can't, the weight on my chest only became heavier.

" Everything happens for a reason " She said. I looked at her and she gave me her best smile.

I wanted to cry my heart out, but what's the point. 

 

" Taeyeon~ah, I said BAD not WORSE so, chill. Just take this medications and you'll be fine " He wrote something, it took him long enough to finish writing and made sure that he folded it neatly before giving it to me.

" Open that later " He winked and opened the door for me. I stood up and left the white room.

 

As I walk through the hallway, my eyes observed the doctors running towards the CCU with a patient struggling for her life. What if that happens to me, will I be able to survive? Will Tiffany be there? Is she going to be alright?

 

Questions. Questions. Questions

 

It always occupies my mind. I want to lay down and cry all day long. I'm tired of thinking, tired of hoping, tired of wishing, tired of convincing myself, that everything's gonna be fine.

 

I sat on the bench near the CCU and just like on the movies, I cried. I can't hold my tears any longer, words still stuck on my head and I can't seem to stop it. My chest suddenly tightened. My face scrunched when I felt the sudden pain.

" Check her vital signs " I heard someone shout.

" I think we're going to loose her " Another voice shouted in panic

I had my eyes widen. I let my FEARS roll down from my eyes, fear of dying, fear of leaving, fear of being alone trapped in white clouds.

 

 

 

BEEEEEEEEPP~

 

 

I heard the most scariest sound that I never wanted to hear.

" Time of death 11:09 a.m " 

" Call her relatives, let them be informed "

 

The door suddenly opened revealing a man with a his green dress covered mostly with blood.

" Are you one of her relatives? "

I shook my head " I'm not. "

" Oh s-sorry. I saw you crying so I thought you were one of her relatives " He bowed and left me.

 

I reached my pocket and grabbed something. I examined the blue box in front of me. I opened it and touched the note that was tied on the ring.

 

" How can we live happily ever after, if I'm dying? " I laughed at myself and closed the box while I left the hospital with a heavy heart.

---

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

" How was the check up? " Tiffany s her hands on my neck

" U-umhh. T-the doctor said I'll be fine. "

" Liar. "

 

I was shocked at the sudden accusation, thought it's true, but I never heard her in such a serious tone before.

" You stuttered " She removed her hands away and crossed it. " Something's not right. " 

" Taetae, tell me the truth. "

" I'm fine " I tried to calm her with my cheerful yet forced tone.

"......" She keeps on glaring at me and I can't help, but to gulp in nervousness.

 

 

" Believe me, fany~ah "

 

 

 

"......."

 

 

 

" Fany?"

 

 

"........" She walked out and went to our room. I gave myself a knock on the head for lying, again. It hurts me to hide these kind of feelings towards her. I wanted to tell her that it hurts me seeing how worried she is just by looking at me. I wanted to tell her the truth, but I just can't. I wanted to tell her how much pain it causes me seeing her sad because of me.

 

I sighed and went to Yoona's old room. I think she needs time, alone. I placed myself on the bed and called my bestfriend-- Hyoyeon.

 

 

" Hyo, how's the company doing in Japan? " I asked her

" It's great Taeyeon, our sales are really on top. "

" That's great. "

" How's my Auntie? " I bit my lower lip

" She's fine. Ever since you resigned as the vice president and asked her to be the manager of all the companies, she had a hard time adjusting. But she was able to go through it. "

I nodded.

" So what made you call, Problems? "

" Yes. "

" What is it, is it about your heart? "

" Yes. "

" Let me guess, It's getting bad. "

" Why do I have to talk to you, if you know what's going on. "

She chuckled.

" So, tell me what happened? "

" It's getting bad, Hyo. "

" Don't worry, Tae. Everything happens for a reason. Imagine, your problem is like a test and you need to pass it to get your goal. But before doing so, you need another 'classmate' ' to help you study and that person is Tiffany. You both need each other to reach your goals and you know what your goal is? "

" Your goal is to be with each other. You need her and she needs you, Tae. The both of you needs each other. You can't live without her and so does she. Tae, I've seen you struggle on many problems and Tiff..Tiff was there, she witnessed everything. She went through a lot of things and you were there too. You both supported each other. "

I nodded and tried to hold my tears

" Thanks, Hyo "

" Anytime. I know you're in Yoona's room and Tiff's on the other room. If I were you I would knock on her door and tell her to calm down. Go Tae, before she gives you cold shoulders again. "

" You really know me. "

" Of course, I'm your bestfriend. Now Go, go to your mushroom. "

I stood up and brought my phone back to my pocket. I felt something brushed my fingers and decided to grab it. I saw Leeteuk's note. I slowly opened and read it

 

 

“Jamie: You know what I figured out today?
Landon: What?
Jamie: Maybe God has a bigger plan for me than I had for myself. Like this journey never ends. Like you were sent to me because I'm sick. To help me through all this. You're my angel.” 

 

He got a line from the movie ' A walk to remember' I smiled and it hit me, again. I really need her. Not because I'm sick, because I can't live without her.

 

 

 

 

---

 

Some readers were worried about me.

Kekeke, don't worry, I'm alright :))

Thanks for your concern *hugs you

It kinda hurts, but at least I can walk, right? *chuckles

 

 

 

Sorry for the boring chapter and Typo errors *eyesmile

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