Soobin’s POV

I looked at Joongki waiting for an answer. He looked into my eyes, searching for something but when he opened his mouth, my phone rang and it caused him to stop what he’s about to say.

“I think you should get that.” He said. I then realized where I was standing and what I was doing, I stepped away and his arms loosened around me which I went to take my call. The number was a private number so I had no idea who it was. However, I decided to take it anyway.

“This is Eunhyuk.” Was the first thing I heard when I placed the phone to my ear.

“ok.” I didn’t know why he called me but I guess it would be bad.

“I have something to say to you.” He said. I remained quiet to listen to him.

“I apologise for losing my temper at you just now. But it’s just that he’s my best friend you know. If I had treated Haemin like that, you would also be angry and upset. But I admit I was too much. But there’s something I want you to know. I hope you’ll make up your mind abot your feelings soon. I don’t want to see Donghae hurt anymore. It’s either you be with him or leave him alone. Soobin, I hope you make the right choice.” He said.

“I’m not angry at you. I know how you’re feeling. I’m trying to sort things out now. I hope I’ll make the right choice myself.” I said.

“That’s good to hear. I called you to apolgise. I need to go now. I’ll see you.” HE said and hung up. When I turned back, I saw Joongki looking at me with his hands in his pocket.

“It’s late. I think you should go in and rest. You had a long day.” He said and I nodded, not arguing with him. As I walked towards my house, I turned around to see Joongki still standing there waiting for me to go into my house.

“Joongki, Thank you.” I said and he just smiled at me and waved me to go in.

The next day, I went to school as per usual. However, most of the time my mind was not in school with me. All that was in my mind was what Eunhyuk told me. What would be the right choice? I admit I like Donghae. Maybe I should give him a chance, give ourselves a chance. He’s always nice and gente towards me. Sometimes all I think about is just him.

If things don’t work out then we can’t force things since it didn’t work out/ However, but if it does then it’s meant to be. Maybe for now we can still be friends but if he ever asks me again, I’ll tell him my answer.

After school Haemin told me to go to Donghae. I know she means well and want us to be together. She went together with me, wanting to see how Donghae was feeling. I didn’t know why but I felt more nervous now that I’m going to meet him. Normally, he doesn’t make me feel nervous or anxious. But now, I feel like I’m going to do everything wrong and screw up everything.

“We’re here.” Haemin said, breaking me from my trance. Now I’m really starting to freak out.

“Why don’t you go ahead. I’m going to the toilet.” I said, trying to hide mt anxiety, but nothing escaped the eyes of Haemin.

“You can use the one in his room.” Haemin said and pulled me but I just stood rooted to the ground. She gave up and just went in alone.

End of Soobin’s POV

Donghae’s POV

When I woke up, the room was empty and the sky was still dark. I looked at the time and it was barely 6am. Today will be another long day. I tried going bck to sleep but I keep drifting awake and asleep so I gave up and decided to just watch the television.

I got a knock on the door at 12pm to see the nurse bringing in my meal. It looks so dry and boring. I lost my appetite just by looking at it. Atleast breakfast had a decent sandwich. I played around with my food and gave up. I don’t think I can eat anything now. I was thinking if I was dreaming or was it real that Soobin was in this room yesterday. Was I so drug hazed that I was imagining things.

The knock on the door knocked me out of my thoughts. The door opened a while later and revealed someone close to the one who I want to meet.

“Hey Donghae. How are you feeling?” Haemin asked me.

“Bored.” I said, a little disappointed that she came alone. I was hoping Soobin will come in with her. After staring at the door for another 3 seconds, I realized that’s not going to happen.

“You won’t be soon enough.” She smiled that smile which all girls have when they are up to something. Her eyes then drifted to the food in front of me.

“IS that your lunch? Why aren’t you eating?” Haemin asked, shock written all over her face.

“I don’t have the appetite.” I said.

“I think you have to talk him into eating.” Haemin said, talking to someone outside. I tried to look at who it was but I can’t see from where I am.

“Who are you talking to?” I asked her.

“Just come in will you?” She said before turning back to me. “I just came to see how you were doing. Since you’re fine, I’ll go now. Have fun!” She said before walking out of the door. The door was still opened and I was waiting for the person to walk in. I saw Haemin walking away 1 minute after she walked out of my door.

While looking at Haemin passing my door to leave, another person came in and it was like a dream come true. Soobin closed the door behind her and walked towards me.

“How are you feeling?” She asked, looking at anywhere else but me.

“Not bad.” I said, my eyes not leaving hers. Her eyes focused to my food that was on the table.

“You’re not eating?” She asked me, lookin at me straight in the face. Not the look I was looking for.

“I don’t have the appetite.” I said as I stared at the food trying to make myself hungry but it wasn’t working at all. The food just look disgusting. She sat down on the foot of the bed and slug her backpack forward and ped her bag.

“You can have this.” She said as she pulled out a lunch box from her bag. She pushed my food tray aside and opened her lunch box filled with Kimbap and fruits. It looks way more appetizing that the hospital food. I could literally hear my stomach growling. When I took a bit, it felt so good.

“Is it nice?” She asked me. Her eyes looking up at me.

“Did you make it? It’s so delicious.” I said and she nodded shyly. When I ate a few of it, I realized this much have been hers for lunch. If I’m eating her lunch, she would have nothing left to eat.

“You should eat some.” I said, holding one out to her.

“I’m tfine. I’m not hungry.” She said as she pushed the box closer to me. I did budge and I had thought she would give in. However, she took the kimbap from me and put it into my half opened mouth. Her face was so close to me I could smell her green tea perfume.

We looked into each other’s eyes for what seems like eternity until she blinked and moved back to where she was sitted.

“I think I should go.” She said, zipping up her bag and she stood up, going to leave.

“Soobin, wait.” I said as she stopped what she was doing and turned to look at me. Her eyes were full of curiousity and a bit of… anticipation? I know I shouldn’t ask much from her but now is the only time when she can spend time with me without running away just from the sight of me. She came nearer to me and sat on the edge of my bed, next to my knee.

“Is there anything you need? Or are you in pain?” She asked, her expression suddenly turned worried.

“I’m fine. It’s just… I know I’m asking too much but I hope to have some company. There’s nothing much for me to do here alone.” I said, not meeting her eyes, but just looking at the wall by her head.

End of Donghae’s POV

Soobin’s POV

When Donghae tld me his request, I found him to be a little cute. He was looking down at his fingers playing with them not meeting my eyes as he spoke, afraid that I would reprimand him or something. He’s really like a little boy. A little boy who likes me, my little boy. It just sound right.

“Donghae, you just have to ask. I’ll do anything for you.” I’m trying to drop him hints here and there so that he would ask me that golden question again. I know I’m too absurd for wanting him to ask me again, but I know I would not have the courage to ask him even though I know what his answer will be.

He looked at me with a slight shock like he did not understand what I just said to him. However, after a few minutes, he broke into a smile.

“Thank you.” He said. I pulled the chair to the side of his bed and took out my books to read and study. When I looked up after pulling out my stuff, I saw him looking at me.

“You can talk to me. I can multi-task.”I said however, he didn’t speak but took one of my books from my lap and started to flip through it. His eyes widen in surprise.

“This is so alien. I haven’t been to school in ages.” He said. I didn’t know why but this scene was so funny that I burst out laughing.

“What?” He said but I just couldn’t stop.

“You’re too cute.” I said and I looked at him even though I was still laughing. He ooked at me in shock like he was hearing things. But I bet he hears it al the time. He’s cute or handsome or any compliments anyone could think of.

“But you don’t like me.” He said and I stopped laughing totally. The mood we built up, fun and light, was totally destroyed and it’s now serious and tense.

“Donghae.” 

“It’s ok. I know.” He smiled sadly and I feel bad making him upset again. Ever since I am honest with myself, I realized how much I have hurt him. He didn’t do anything wrong. There’s isn’t anything wrong about loving someone but I guess he’s no longer the one who is not for me but I’m not the one for him.

“It’s not that I don’t like you.” I said. His expression changed, like it’s one full of hope. I know I’ll break his heart. I know even if I don’t know, sooner or later I will. There are times where Haemin will call me a cold blooded freak or some names which describe me as someone who does not have feelings. I know I’m someone who cannot express feelings well. However, letting Donghae go, is not something which I can do now. I think I’m in love with him. In love to the extend I can’t let him go. I don’t want to hurt him but I know if I hurt him, I’ll be hurt as well. I’m going to give us a chance one that I know I’m not worthy of.

“I’m not good enough for you.”

Soobin’s POV