Soobin’s POV

That night, I had trouble sleeping. I kept tossing and turning during the night and when I checked the clock, it was already close to 4am. I had a class at 8am. I think I’ll just end up not sleeping.

The entire night, the only image stuck in my head were those that Heechul told me. I imagine Donghae curled into a ball, hiding under his blanket covering his mouth, crying, trying to not his hyungs hear him or when he’ll just walk around the house lifelessly and just do things for the sake of doing them. When I finally remembered why I was thinking about this, it was because of me that he was like this. Even though I didn’t see it myself, but Donghae’s group mates must be really worried that’s why they arranged that setup.

When it hit 6am and I was still awake, I gave up and started to prepare for school. At 7:15am, I was ready and waiting for Haemin to appear. I wonder what had happened to Eunhyuk and her yesterday. The whole world can tell that Eunhyuk is in love with her but she just can’t see it. I shouldn’t talk about her like this. I’m now caught in the same situation at least they like each other. Donghae is just my… friend.

When I waited for sometime and Haemin still didn’t appear, I was about to call her and I realized I had a message from her. ‘ Soobin! I can’t go to school with you today. Something cropped up. I’ll see you in school! Sorry! but I arranged someone to pick you up so wait there! – Haemin’ what is up with this girl again? Without putting much thought into it, I stood there and wait.

5 minutes later, a familiar car pulled up into the driveway. Oh no, I recongise this car. From the driver’s side, Donghae appeared. Oh that Kim Haemin, she’ll get it from me for setting me up again and again.

“Morning, um…. Haemin asked me to drive you to school.” He said awkwardly. I just nodded my head and opened the door to the passenger’s seat. I guess not sleeping one night will make my brain auto shut off without myself realizing it. The next I realize, Donghae was talking about seatbelts but because I was out in another universe, I didn’t absorb what he said. He leaned in and that caught my attention. When his face was almost too close to mine, he stopped and pulled onto the seatbelt and buckled in for me. What was I thinking about?

“Let’s go, I don’t want to make you late for school.” He said. Halfway during the drive, he spoke up again.

“Are you ok? You look a little tired.” he said.

“I’m alright. Just the morning makes me unfocused.” These are all excuses. I can’t possibly tell him. Oh I’m not fine at all. I didn’t sleep the whole night because your Hyung told me what has been happening to you. When the car ride started to get awkward, I started some conversation.

“Don’t you have work today?” I asked him.

“I do. Later at 10 am.” He said and when I looked at him when he spoke, I realize he look even more tired than me.

“You should rest at home. You look tired.” I said and he smiled.

“I’m ok.” Even though it’s 2words, it just made my heart break a little. I could tell he had makeup on and it still can’t cover his dark eye bags and his eye looked a little swollen as well.

When we reached school, I sat in the car not knowing what to say but looking at the time, if I don’t leave now, I’ll definitely be late.

“Thank you for sending me to school. But next time don’t trouble yourself. I can come to school on my own. Don’t need to come out of your car or later people might recongise you. Bye” I said before leaving his car and going to class.

End of Soobin’s POV

Donghae’s POV

That night, when I went home, I couldn’t sleep at all. I kept wondering what Hyung told Soobin, but none of them would tell me. I know they did this on purpose. During the entire car ride, Soobin wouldn’t even look at me. Whenever I looked at her, she would avoid eye contact with me, as if Hyung told her some disgusting secret about me. I know hyung won’t do that but the look on her face showed some guilt and maybe fear? I don’t know.

I couldn’t sle the whole night, only silent tears flowed when I remember the sight when Soobin walked into her house. I don’t want to see her back view anymore. I want to walk by her side, seeing her happy smile and the smile is because of me.

I guess I already fell as deep that I can’t crawl out of it anymore. The next I knew that the sky was already bright and Leeteuk hyung came and gave me a hug. I know he and all the hyungs know what’s going on, but they choose to stay quiet about it. That morning, I broke down. I cried on Hyung’s shoulders and he quietly comforted me just like how a mother would.

“Hae-ah, stay strong. You always need to fight for the good things.” He said.

When I finally knocked out of it, Hyung asked me to stay in bed a while longer, but I know I still can’t sleep. When I check my phone, I say a message from Hyuk. ‘Hae! Giving you a chance! Haemin can’t go to school with Soobin today. So she was wondering if you’d like to send her to school this morning. – Hyuk’

I will not miss a single chance to send her to school. ‘Ok. I’ll be there in 5 minutes. – Hae’ I replied and prepared quickly before running out of the apartment with Heechul hyung screaming at me asking where I was going, but in my mind was just to see her.

When I reached her driveway, I saw her standing, waiting. I don’t know if she knows I’m the one who is picking her up, btu I guess not, seeing the shocked expression on her face. When she got into the car, she sat there not moving. I told her about her seatbelt a couple of times, but she didn’t budge. Looking at the time, if we don’t leave soon, she’ll be late. So I leaned in and buckled it for her. Only when I was too close to her, there was some reaction from her. On the drive to her school, even though it’s short, but it’s better than nothing. When I caught a few glimpse at her, I realized she looked very tired. When I asked her about it, she said she was fine.

When we got to her school, the thing she said to me totally broke my heart. She told me to not send her to school anymore, that she can come on her own and told me to stay on the car and not send her off. Does she hate me so much that she doesn’t want to see me so often or see me at all?

After becoming an idol, all I have ever received is girls screaming and squealing at me whenever they see me, however, Soobin attracted me because she wasn’t like that. She is so calm and composed and doesn’t try to impress me while she’s with me.

Because of the words Soobin told me it left me hurting for the next few days as I had a fully schedule for the week, I wasn’t able to eat or sleep well. To be honest I didn’t sleep at all. By the end of the week, I felt sick and tired.

“Hae, Are you sure you don’t want to stay at home and rest You look so sick today.” Sungmin told me.

“It’s ok. I’m ok.” I said even though I know I’m not. When we were walking out of the house, suddenly I felt faint and the next moment I know, I can’t see a thing.

When I woke up, I found myself lying on my bed and Leeteuk hyung beside me.

“What happened?” I asked.

“You fainted Hae. The doctor said you didn’t have enough rest and you don’t eat well, causing you to feel weak and faint. Hae, please stay strong.” Hyung said.

For the next few days, I was given time off to rest since I looked deadly sick. I have a cold and my eating and sleeping habits are still the same. I feel dead on the outside and on the inside. All I can do is lay on my bed and do nothing. As each day the boys have different schedules and no schedules clashed such that at least one person would be home to take care of me. Even though I told them it’s not needed, they insist. However, there was a 3 day trip for them to Taiwan to do a performance and all of them must go.

“I’ll be fine. Don’t worry about me.” And surprisingly, they didn’t say anything. I knew why when they left.

I was sitting on my bed, trying to do something when the doorbell rang. Who could t be? I didn’t order delivery and the ahjumma has her own keys. When I look through the screen, I saw that it was Haemin. What was she doing here? I think she must know that Eunhyuk is abroad.

“What brings you…” I stopped when I realized she’s not alone.

“Leeteuk told me to bring*points at Soobin* to take care of you so mission accomplished! I’m going now!” Haemin said and ran off. Soobin wanted to chase after her but as I wanted to say something, I coughed so badly it sounded like I was going to die.

Soobin who was stuck in between ran towards me and patted gently on my back before guiding me to the sofa to rest.

“Are you ok?” She asked with her tender voice. I just closed my eyes and tried to swallow it back.

“Where are the boys?” She asked and when I was about to speak, she stopped me and went to look for something before coming back with a pen and a paper.

‘They went to Taiwan for a performance for 3 days’ I wrote and she looked at it and nodded.

“You must be hungry. I’ll cook you something to eat. Do you want to rest here or in your room?” She asked and I just pointed to the kitchen.

“I know where’s the kitchen. I…” She wanted to say something but I started writing on the paper ‘I’m not tired. I want to sit in the kitchen’ she just nodded her head and helped me to the kitchen. At one point, my legs almost gave way and I almost fell, but her hands slipped quickly to my waist and held me up. Even though she looked weak but she’s strong.

I sat in the kitchen, watching her move around and cook. She would at times turn around and see if I was doing ok. She acts so differently from normal it’s like she really cares and worries for me. When she finished coking the porridge, she set it in front of me and sat on the seat in front of me and waited for me to eat. I guess I was too mesmerized by her to even realize the porridge is hot. When it touched my lips, I immediately took it away since it’s hot and she laughed.

“Its freshly cooked so it’s hot. You must be really hungry.” She smiled as she took the spoon away from me. She scooped a little of it and blew gently on it for a while before feeding me. I was shocked at ther gesture but while I ate the porridge I felt her love and warmth. Today, she’s so carefree and beautiful. I really want her to be like this with me, always…

End of Donghae’s POV