Soobin’s POV

When 7pm came, I became more and more nervous. When the phone rang at 6:30pm just now, I almost got shocked to death. However it was Omma asking me what I was going to do with Dinner. From the time I hung up the call with Donghae till now, I locked myself in my room, trying to find a perfect outfit. Maybe that time when Haemin went crazy finding a perfect outfit, I should have bought myself some new clothes too.

My outfits are either too casual, too formal, too boyish, too normal or too boring. I just can’t make up my mind what to wear. When I realize the time, I decided with something casual so I won’t look like I put in too much effort in my appearance. I wasn’t anyway. When it struck 7:15pm, I started to panic. I wasn’t even half done! I sat in front of the dressing table and decided what I should do with my hair. shall I tie it all up, leave it half down or not tie at all? Looking at my attire, I decided to tie it all up. When my hair was done, it was left with makeup. I had to hurry as he’s going to arrive soon.

I did my make up so I would look natural and when I looked at my watch, I realize I was late. But I looked at my clock and didn’t see a single miss call at all. I looked out of the window and saw Donghae already here, leaning against his car with his hands in his pocket, looking down. Oh no! Why didn’t he call me? I grabbed my stuff and stuff them all into a random bag I check myself again in the mirror before heading down, grabbing a pair of worn out sneakers, chucking them on, taking a deep breath and walked out of the door. I hastened my actions a little before walking quickly to him.

“Sorry.” I said when I got to him.

“It’s ok. It’s barely 15 minutes. You won’t be a lady if you weren’t a little late.” He smiled at me before opening my door for me. I thanked him before going into the car. When he closed the door, he jogged to the other side of the car. I took a deep breath and fanned myself because of the awkwardness.

“Warm? I can turn up the air conditioner.” He said.

“It’s ok. I just need some time to cool down.” I said as he started the car.

“You look nice today” he told me.

“Thank you. You look nice too.” He wore a white shirt, black blazer and a pair of blue jeans.

“How was school? “He tried to start a conversation. We talked on and on and it’s been quite a drive but we weren’t there yet.

“It is a long way more?” I asked him.

“You’re hungry? We’re reaching soon.” He said as he looked at me with concern.

“I’m fine. Did you wait for me long just now?” I asked.

“Not very long.” He said and turned into a casual dining restaurant.

When he parked the car, I was about to get out when I felt his hand on mine. He looked at me trying to tell me something but I can’t really catch it.

“Let me.” He said as he got out and opened the door for me.

“Thank you.” I said as got out. We made our way into the restaurant and the waiter led us to the VIP room. When we walked past the normal dining area, I heard some loud chattering about there’s Donghae and things like that. The waitresses were also looking at him with excitement. I guess he just don’t have that particular effect on me. I remember how I used to hate him. Maybe not hate but dislike.

“Hey! You guys are FINALLY here!” The one name heechul said, purposely focusing on the word finally. Haemin had told me before that he’s a total drama mama.

“Sorry. I was running a little late.” I said and he waved it off.

“It’s alright. Blame this boy who drive like a tortoise.” He said as he laughed and the entire room laughed along. Donghae on the other hand was blushing.

“Alright quite picking on him! let’s get them to serve the food!” Leeteuk said and the waiter left, bringing the food for us.

During the entire meal, The boys joked around, talking about what was going on and what were the latest news and all. Donghae had never failed to take some food for me, filling my plate always.

“HAE! Why you never take food for me!” Heechul whined and Donghae became red again. I want to laugh but it seems inappropriate.

“I thought you were not coming.” Haemin told me.

“I had actually wanted to bail.”

“Then I shall thank you for not bailing on me.”

Throughout the whole meal, Haemin and I listened to their conversation or engage in our own conversation.

“Come on! Let’s go grab a drink! The night is still young!” Heechul said.

“I think the girls have to go.” Eunhyuk said.

“Come on! You girls will go right? Please! Pretty please!” Heechul said with a pout and puppty dog eyes which failed and I couldn’t help but laugh.

“I’ll go!” Haemin said and Heechul cheered. Then everyone looked at me. I felt a hand on mine and saw Donghae shaking his head.

“I guess I don’t want to spoil everyone’s fun right?” I said and the whole room cheered. I was actually tired but being with the guys are actually fun and I don’t want to have another awkward ride with Donghae that soon.

“Let’s go!” Heechul cheered. I walked with Haemin out of the restaurant.

“I want to take Hyukkie’s car!” Sungmin said.

“I want Hae’s!” Ryeowook went and one after another said they want to go to their cars until both cars were full. Both Haemin and I looked at each other and we shrugged.

“I guess the girls will have to ride with us then.” Leeteuk said and ushered us to their van. It was only Leeteuk, Heechul, Haemin and I. When we walked to the van, both Heechul and Leeteuk each stood on our sides. Heechul on mine and Leeteuk on Haemin’s. Leeteuk told Haemin something and she nodded.

“Can you sit with me?” Heechul asked. Not with his failed puppy dog eyes and pout, but looking all normal.

“Sure. I guess.” I said and took the seat inside while Heechul took the seat outside while Haemin and Heechul took the seat at the far back.

“To be honest this is all a set up.” Heechul said when the bus started moving.

“A Setup?” I said.

“Yeah. A setup. All of us actually can tell how upset Donghae looked recently.” Heechul said.

“I’m sorry.” I said.

“I’m not blaming you. I just hope that through this ride, you can hear me out and maybe you might have a different opinion about him.” He said and I nodded.

“To be honest, I have never seen Donghae behave this way. When I first know him, he was always focused on dancing, singing, rapping. He never thought about anything else other than the thing he was doing. He’s one of the best Dongsaeng I could have. You must have heard why he’s here right? He’s actually a very fillal son. He never made any of us worry. But recently, we are really worried about him. I guess you know how he feels about you right?” He said and I nodded.

“When he came home that day, he looked exceptionally sad. I’m not telling you to make you guilty, it’s just you know, I can’t see him like this. It’s breaking all our hearts. Sometimes, in the middle of the night, Leeteuk hyung will hear soft sniffing. Don’t look at Donghae looking normal, we don’t know what he’s thinking. He’s actually a very emotional guy. I hope you can get to know him more before giving him your answer. I believe that after being with him for a while, you will like him.” Heechul looked at me sincerely.

“To be honest, I don’t dislike him. But it’s just there’s no attraction. Like just now when we’re walking to the VIP room, al the girls are looking at him with this glow in their eyes, but I just can’t. He just don’t give me that kind of feeling.” I told him. Why do I feel like I’m lying to him and myself?

“Actually, you yourself might not realize, but a of us can tell, you have this little something towards him. The way you look at him, it has this particular warmth. I actually took notice of you just now and I trust that you do feel something towards him that why even though he confessed his feels to you, you never avoid him of any sort.” Heechul said.

When he said that, it got me thinking. I always hear people saying that you yourself wi never realize your actions towards the person you love. You might think it’s normal, but from the viewpoint of others, it is totally different. Do I really like Donghae? I know I’m starting to like him as a friend but I don’t think I’m liking him as him too, am I?

“Maybe you can go and think about it? I really hope to see him happy. I believe you will be happy also.” He smiled at me. Heechul turned around and looked at Leeteuk and they both nodded their head and Heechul told the driver something and I guess the driver had been driving around and not really going to the destination.

Heechul talked with me about some funny things and told me his experience and I realize it mostly relates to Donghae as well. I laughed along and realized he really have good people and friends around him who care for him.

When the van came to a stop, Heechul placed his hands on my shoulder and gave me a reassuring hug before he opened the door. When I got out of the van, we met a raging Donghae and Eunhyuk. Oh boy. This is going to be bad.

“Hyung, why did you guys take so long?” Donghae said.

“It’s a secret between us and the girls. Right?” Heechul looked at us and winked and we nodded. The guys then walked into the bar to enjoy while Donghae stood there rooted, looking at me like I’ve been lost for days.

“Are you ok? Did hyung tell you anything strange?” He asked me, worried.

“Oh nothing happened. Don’t worry. I’m fine. Let’s go in. Don’t let them worry.” I said and took his arm and we went into the bar.

I had a lot of fun with the boys that night. However, when I got home, Heechul’s words came back to me. I feel really bad for causing him to suffer so much because of me. I don’t want to give him too much pressure and I don’t want to leave him hanging. I admit he’s a really nice guy but he’s an idol after all. Dating an idol is not ike dating a normal person after all. Now all I can treat him is like a friend. If we go out a few times together, I’m afraid he might get a wrong idea. I don’t want to tell him that ‘we can go out a few times to try and then I’ll give you an answer’ it’s like he’ll be so stressed up each time we meet.

I really don’t know what I can do. I cannot help but agree that he’s really very nice to me. So nice to the extend that no one has treated me this way. But can I handle the pressure that I will come to receive from this relationship? Do I even love Donghae back?

End of Soobin’s POV