After the amazing night they spend together, he woke up to feel her side empty, he wanted to reach her and hug her as a morning greeting but he felt nothing on her side, only the coldness and the sheets all wrinkled. Now he was afraid to open his eyes and see she left him alone without even saying goodbye to him or explain him why she is leaving; her scent still there, in his skin, his bed and his soul… even though it’s a little bit painful to not wake up next to her because whatever reason.

 

He opened his eyes when he was brave enough and confirmed she wasn’t there. Fear run over his body and loneliness crept on him so quickly. The mere fact she isn’t around and didn’t woke up with him is so heartbreaking. He feels a little bad; did he disappoint her last night? A bunch of insecurities went back to him so quickly. He shrugged them off by shaking his head. He stood up shirtless and stayed shirtless; he walked to the bathroom and washed his face, looking himself in the mirror while washing his teeth.

 

Then, before exiting his bedroom, he noticed her clothes are still in the floor along with his.

 

He let out a soft laugh, realizing how freaking drama queen he suddenly was been. He walked slowly through the hall, hearing the sounds of plates and water. He also sense a such a good smell, like something is being cooked. He peeked his head in the entrance of the kitchen to see Roseanne cooking the breakfast with a long shirt of him.

 

Is this real life? He leaned his body against the wall and reflected for a bit.

 

All the things that happened to him in the past are nothing compare to how big this moment is and how happy he feels. Remember the horrible voice he always used to hear inside his head? He is now the one who is laughing at it and pointing at it by being proud of himself and to actually have someone who loves him.

 

that voice.

 

He won.

 

He peeked again and walked inside when she was giving her back at him, this time he leaned in the wall, crossed his arms in his chest and looked at her with a smile.

 

“Wow!” She said when she turned around and spotted him. “You scared me” She putted both hands in her chest. “You’re such a freak, what are you doing there?”

 

“Nothing…” He said, still smiling. “What are you doing?”

 

Roseanne smiled while grabbing the ball full of vegetables. “Home food”

 

Yoongi walked to where she was and back hugged her. “Why? You could just order delivery”

 

“Why you always want delivery? Learn to make your own food, you’re a grownup man!”

 

He grabbed her hand to move the vegetables around. “I love to make you angry” He made a pause as he pushed her to turn around. “Have you notice you do something funny with your nose when you get angry?”

 

She shook her head.

 

“Well,” He putted a string of her hair behind her ear. “You look pretty when you do that”

 

Roseanne pressed her forehead on his chest, feeling shy. “Stop praising me so much, it gets me all shy and weird”

 

“Why?” He laughed. “I’m just telling you the truth!”

 

“Still, I don’t like to get shy”

 

“But you always do”

 

While they were bickering cutely in the kitchen, Roseanne’s phone sounded from the room. Yoongi informed her and she ran towards where it was, leaving him in charge of the vegetables and the meat she was cooking.

 

Knowing he might mess up, she came back with her phone in her ear. “I know…” She said as she was arriving and made a long pause. “Yeah, I’ll call her later… I’ll tell you later Lisa” Another pause and Yoongi still struggling to not get burn with the meat. “Deal, see you in the faculty” And she hang up. “You look like a little boy”

 

“I don’t want to burn, it’s painful” Yoongi said after taking a little piece of meat and getting it to his mouth. “What’s up?”

 

“Don’t speak with your mouth full!” Roseanne grounded him. “It was Lisa, aunt called her and she told her I was sleeping. I need to call her back soon” She started placed the vegetables and the table and went for a plane plate to put the pieces of meat. “Can you drive me to the faculty? I think it’s better if I call her from there”

 

Yoongi served a little of soy and seasoning. “Sure”

 

Roseanne putted a plate of lettuce aside. “Can you… also… borrow me clothes?”

 

He was about to sit but stopped when she asked him that. “You’ll wear my clothes?”

 

“Yeah… I don’t want to use the same clothes from yesterday” She placed two bottles of water in front of the plates and walked to sit next to him. “Can you?”

 

He shrugged, putting the little plates in front of them with the chopsticks. “My clothes will look funny on you”

 

“I know” She said, taking her chopstick. “But I really don’t want to go and be dressed like yesterday”

 

Yoongi made a face and started to eat. “I’ll look if I have something”

 

She shook her head with food on ; she covered it with one of her hands. “No…” She said. “Look for old jeans and an old shirt, I’ll deal with it”

 

Yoongi swallowed. “What would you do with only jeans and shirts?”

 

“You don’t know me that well yet” Roseanne smiled at him.

 

After eating, Yoongi was in charge to do the dishes, but before that, he searched for the two things Roseanne asked him to search but instead of a shirt, Yoongi found her an old sweater that he used to use when he was in the Foster House. While her clothes were in the washing machine, she was getting shower, dried her hair and made something pretty with the clothes Yoongi found for her.

 

He was a bit confused when she asked him scissors but she asked him to shush and let her do her thing.

 

He did what she commanded and went to wash the dishes.

 

“So…” He heard and turned around. “How do I look?”

 

She has just turn an old black tight jean, into a black ripped jean until her uncles; as the sweater was very big, she cut the part that was left, leaving the old long sweater as a crop top sweater that didn’t showed that much of her belly; her same sandals and a ponytail with a few strings of hair falling; natural makeup and smelling like flowers.

 

She waved his hand at him because he didn’t move or talked.

 

Yoongi woke and cleaned his throat. “Y- yeah It’- it’s nice… how- how did you- uh- do that?”

 

Roseanne looked her outfit. “Well… I don’t know, I kind of cut a lot”

 

A silence formed because Yoongi couldn’t find anything else to say.

 

“You should go and get a shower, you know? It’s getting late”

 

He shook his head. “Uh… yeah… I should” He said, putting the towel down and walking to his bed.

 

 

 

 

Already in the car and in the way to Roseanne’s faculty, it feels like the old times already. With him holding her hand while driving to the destiny and talking freely about anything they could speak of.

 

They are so comfortable with each other.

 

“I would like you to come with me to the rap festival, you know?”

 

She looked at him. “But… Sora is going to that place, right?”

 

Yoongi sighed, starting to feel a bit angry about that fact. “Yeah, she’s going”

 

Roseanne grabbed his hand tight. “Of course I’m going with you… it’s just that… to be honest,” The car stopped in a red light and Yoongi turned around to see her. “I’m a bit scared”

 

He leaned over to her to kiss her cheek. “Everything will be ok. I really want you to be there”

 

“Just if you promise me you’ll protect me from that crazy ”

 

“Wow!” He said. “That language!”

 

“She is!”

 

Yoongi laughed. “I know but it’s a bad word, you use that mouth kiss me?”

 

“Are you complaining?”

 

“Nope”

 

Silence.

 

“Hey… are you going to my aunt’s house today?”

 

He nodded. “After I pick up my schedules, want to come with me?”

 

“I have to go to the bookstore after class with Lisa” She said to him, glancing outside the window. “I guess you need to talk to aunt by yourself”

 

They entered in the faculty’s parking lot.

 

“How do you want me to tell her about us?”

 

She made a face, like she just broke something and slowly turned around to see her. “That’s not necessary”

 

Yoongi looked at her after parking the car. “She knows?”

 

“Well,” Roseanne lifted both shoulders. “Yeah… I told her…”

 

“I thought only Donghae knew”

 

She shook his head. “Nope, she also knows… but don’t talk about us to her when you actually need to talk to her about you…” Roseanne told him. “About where were you and how was everything”

 

He nodded. “I know”

 

“And the fact you moved out…”

 

“I know…”

 

Sandara is for sure the only one he is really scared to tell what he just did. He might still flinch every time she heard the voice “mom” but she was the closest thing he had to that. She used to worry about him, giving him advice, giving him love, feeding him, taking care of him and doing good things for him he never truly appreciated. He felt very selfish and ungrateful for that and he wanted to apologize for all the damage and hurt he maybe caused.

 

Besides, Sandara is very sentimental, and it will break his heart if she starts to cry. He realize that he truly changed because the old Yoongi wouldn’t have care at all about Sandara’s feelings and thoughts but this new Yoongi, the one who learned a lot about his life and about himself, is truly starting to see the values of people and most important, the values of people that are close to him and part of his life.

 

He let Roseanne in the entrance of her classroom and walked to his. He peeked inside to see his professor writing in a paper and a few of his classmates that when they saw him walking inside, stayed in silence while their eyes followed him until he ended in front of his professor.

 

The well-educated man looked up when he saw the shadow on top of him. “Yoongi?”

 

The last time Yoongi saw this guy was when he found the bag of weed in his jacket and the other in his locker. He was the responsible for his expulsion in some point and the reason why he had to do distance learning.

 

“Professor Bang…” He said.

 

The man started to stand up while stretching his hand to him. He really can’t recognize him. “You look different”

 

Yoongi took his hand. “Thanks…” He said. “I’m here to look the new subjects for the last project. I want to end my semester and graduate soon”

 

Professor Bang stayed in silence, a bit surprise. “You are different as well” He said, patting his shoulder. “The Yoongi I know doesn’t give a single about it”

 

“That Yoongi is dead” He informed him. “I really want to erase that part of me, if you don’t mind”

 

“Of course I don’t mind” Professor Bang smiled while looking for a paper in his folder. “Here” He handed it to Yoongi. “The last five subjects of the signature. Three exams, one assay and the final tech project”

 

Yoongi was reading the paper the old man gave him.

 

“Please work hard,” He said. “The best project will go to YG’s Technology Convention”

 

He looked up to Professor Bang and he smiled.

 

“Thanks”

 

He wished the same attitude of Professor Bang was taken by other professors, but they weren’t that kind to him.

 

“You? Looks like drugs are no longer a way of life, huh?” One of his teachers said to him. “So you did have the right for the distance learning… to be honest… I voted for you to be completely out of the university”

 

Yoongi was just watching him speak.

 

“Too much agony? The abstinence syndrome? Did you wanted to run and get high every day or...?” He said, stretching the paper to Yoongi.

 

He looked the paper and then looked at the professor. “Please put it on the desk, I don’t want to touch you”

 

The professor stayed in silence and let the paper fall down in the desk.

 

“Thanks…” Yoongi took it and went out of the room, surprising the desires of get the out of his body.

 

He didn’t paid attention to the others who took the same attitude as the last professor; this was his last semester and the last stage to graduate so it’s better if he doesn’t get into unnecessary troubles.

 

Others were kind to him but kept their distance and their skepticism to accept his recover.

 

 He doesn’t need the approbation of anyone around here to be honest, so he for sure felt disinterested in their opinion.

 

After he received all the schedules, he walked to where his car was parked, started the engine and waited for some minutes as he texted Donghae.

 

Min Yoongi.

-Is Sandara in the house?-

 

Hae-hyung.

-Yeah? Why?-

 

Min Yoogi.

-I’m planning to go right now-

 

Hae-hyung.

-You’re going?-

-You decided to show up already?-

 

Min Yoongi.

-Yeah-

-I’m kind of nervous, bro-

-Should I really do it?-

 

Hae-hyung.

-Of course-

-You have to-

-She’ll understand you-

-But please… don’t mention me-

-I’m on the office and I can’t defend myself-

 

Min Yoongi.

-hahahahahaha-

-I’m so sorry-

-Your name is everywhere in my speech-

 

Hae-hyung.

-You’re joking-

 

Min Yoongi.

-No I’m not-

-But keep calm-

-I’ll watch my mouth-

 

He pulled is phone aside, in the passenger seat and started to move the car in Donghae’s direction.

 

 

 

 

The important part of his day has arrived. He has to talk to Sandara about everything and anything, he knows the exact words he will tell her but of course, knowing how her sentimentalism level is, he knows he might just forget everything.

 

He parked in front of the house, knowing she is inside and she’ll filled him with questions and questions and tears will roll from her eyes, it’s like he is seeing his own future. He walked outside the car and headed to the door.

 

He hopes her heart is in good condition.

 

Yoongi knocked the door twice and waited for a few second before her voice sounded inside, asking him to wait. That made him feel even more anxious than ever. He felt the same thing with Roseanne when he decided to show up in her workplace, when he heard her voice and spotted her figure right at the end of the store.

 

It’s the same but this time, he feel he’ll be scolded by… yeah, he has to say it… his mom.

 

The door opened and Sandara face was something he could draw in a paper, because she didn’t even move, or uttered a word. It was a dead silence and a petrefied expression. He smiled because he doesn’t know what else to do and besides, he doesn’t know if he should start the conversation or wait for her to say something.

 

He could see the little belly showing off her shirt, it looks so cute and she is also a bit more chubby, she has been eating a lot in the resent days, which is understandable giving her condition of pregnant women. 

 

A slap on his face? A slap in his chest? A punch in his shoulders? No, he didn’t receive any of those. After a few others second Sandara was processing his presence he felt her body crashed against him in a sweet and motherly hug. She truly missed him and was worried sick about him.

 

Sandara wrapped her arms around him so tightly and he could felt the love she has for him. He didn’t wanted to press her so hard because of the belly, but he also put some pressure on her.

 

“You’re such a bad guy!” She started to say, sobbing. “A very bad guy!”

 

She was already crying and trying to control her breathing.

 

“I’m sorry…” That was his first words since he got there.

 

Sandara separated and looked at him from head to toe. “You look so handsome… you’ve grown up so much”

 

Yoongi felt flustered. “Can we talk? I really need to talk to you”

 

She nodded and dried her tears.

 

Yoongi entered to the place that was his home once and it brought so many memories to him, a mix of bad and good memories flashed in his mind. Since he was a little boy to when he met Roseanne.

 

He remembered one important thing Dr. Lee told him…

 

“Coming back to a place where you lived so many hardships is a way to know you moved on and you’re bigger than that”

 

It’s not like Donghae’s house was a nightmare for him, he made everywhere be a nightmare for him in the past so basically he can’t say this place was the place where he lived hardships, first because Sandara and Donghae gave him a lot of love and support,so it was more the place that could stand his hardships, the only place who knew it all and wasn’t avail to tell on him.

 

He closed the door behind him and watched Sandara walking to the kitchen to bring some snacks.

 

That gave him time to touring around even more, but it wasn’t that much to look because still the same, some curtains and the dining table has changed, he recognized them because he was with Donghae when he bought them.

 

Pictures were glued to the wall as well and there were a few of him, pictures he never noticed Sandara or Donghae took of him.

 

“Where was this?” He asked, as he pointed one of the pictures.

 

From the outfit, it looks like it’s from the party in the complex they went months ago.

 

“I took that!” Sandara said while placing a plate of cookies and sweets in the table right in front of the couch. “You looked like I never saw you before so I wanted to take a picture”

 

Yoongi nodded, still watching the picture.

 

Sandara went back from the kitchen with two bottles of waters and sat on the couch. She started to caress her belly. “I only have water, are you ok with that?”

 

He sat right beside her. “Of course it’s ok… how many months”

 

“Five…”

 

“You were busy while I wasn’t here” Yoongi teased.

 

She got a bit shy. “A little… we need some way to distract ourselves”

 

They laugh together and a silence followed.

 

Sandara slide her hand to take his. “I’m so glad you’re ok… but I need to know why?” She asked. “How? When? I need to know everything Yoongi”

 

Yoongi also took her hand.

 

“I know what you been through, I was there but why take that world? Why? My heart broke into pieces when the police came to search in your room and took your jeep; when Hyukjae came to tell us that you might be a suspect for the police, so many things I wanted to be a lie”

 

“I know… I know” He knew she’ll be like this. “I’m sorry, I know- I know I messed up, I- I really didn’t know another way Sandara. All I felt was pain, I was a kid, I didn’t know that after that I – I would go down hill” Yoongi looked at her hands, a bit embarrassed to look at his face. “Even when I was here, I – I still didn’t want to stop. I know- I know I was such a rude and unthankful kid… I know! But I just… I didn’t care, that moment, all I want was to- erase everything, you know?”

 

He felt the hold on his hand.

 

“I’m sorry…” He looked at her. “I did you wrong. I was ungrateful, I was rude with you. I didn’t gave you the value you truly deserve. You were like a ‘mom’, I’m still not a fan of that word, but you, you do deserve to be call that way”

 

Sandara was a crying mess right now. His kind words, the honesty and the way he used to feel was something she thought she would never know and something she would never hear.

 

That prove her he totally changed, he is really other man, completely different to what she was used to.