I'M TRAPPED INSIDE MYSELF AND I'M DEAD.

Having her around has made some weird changes on him. Things that he wants to prove by experiment. Does the voice really goes on vacations when he hear her voice or is only the voice playing games on him? It can be the last because the voice hates him very much, all the things it said to him it’s kind of frustrating to hear and its scary sometimes.

It makes him so angry to the point of hurting himself so much.

He was in the kitchen, drinking some water before going out to his usual “somewhere”.

So, let’s kill somebody.

He stopped doing what he was doing.

The glass on his lips without drinking the water.

She’s upstairs. We’re alone. Nobody is around us.

He drank the water in one go.

Nobody will care.

He stayed still.

Hurt her. Go upstairs with a knife and cut .

She will die instantly and we would be so satisfied. We will feel powerful.

What are you waiting for?

Cut , slide her to pieces, like a fresh meat.

Cut her.

Hurt her.

Kill her.

He brake a plate placed on the counter against the floor, grabbed the piece closest to him and slid it against his own skin. Hurt her? No way in hell, he prefers hurting himself before doing something like that.

Well, I wasn’t expecting this but IF YOU WANT TO DIE I’M UP FOR IT.

Slide that piece of glass on your wrist. I don’t see you. CUT THOSE VAINS.

CUT IT.

He was going to do it. He was going to end with this. Nobody can help him. Not right now, never. He grabbed the same piece of glass he used to cut his hand and placed harshly on his wrist.

Yes, like that.

The pain would end in a sec-

“Oh my God, are you ok?”

Everything else went silence, even the voice, her presence was automatically a mute sign for it.

But the adrenaline stills there.

“Don’t get close to me!”

YEAH JUST END THIS RIGHT NOW !

But Roseanne is one of those girls that never listen, not if someone needs help urgently. She ran to him and he didn’t have another choice but to give up to his strong image and bad boy persona to look for protection on her arms. The voice was screaming such a rude sentences, saying this, saying that, cursing the girl, cursing how coward he was… but it disappeared when he placed his head on her chest and focused on the beat of her heart.

That beat was telling him she was scared as hell, and that she was nervous and didn’t have a clue of what was going on but she was there, alive, bombing blood to her brain and making the most beautiful sound he has ever heard.

His insides went back to normal, slowly but went back to normal, like he was before this happened, like he was fresh and new again. Is that even possible? He doesn’t know, but he is feeling that way and it’s amazing.

But something bothered him and that was the fact she entered in his room. He knows it. He is feeling it. He can even smell her perfume inside his room. Just like that. So he couldn’t shut up when he asked her that night and couldn’t stop his rudeness when she admitted. His drugs, his alcohol, his secrets, his things, they’re all in there and no one can’t see it. It’s his deepest secret. No one should know about that. After he saw her really regretting he was going to apologize for treat her like that but what was the point of that? Showing he was weak to her sad face.

Oh, no, he is everything but weak so she better put her things on order and never go back to his room in her life.

“Why did you damage my calendar with your trashy lipstick?” Yoongi asked Sora, he was getting dress.

“My trashy lipstick? I see, now is trashy but when I was doing you an oral it was beautiful, huh?” She answered. Smoking a cigarette on the bed.

“That is not the case” He answered after pressing the bottoms of his pants together. “I want you to never do that again”

“What? an oral?” She giggled playfully.

“Going to my place. It’s the last time you do that. Next time I push you out the window”

“You like it that day”

“Whatever Sora, first and last time, did you listen to me or do I need to write it down for you?”

She rolled her eyes and crossed both arms over her chest. “Are you cheating on me?”

Yoongi frowned as he looked at her. “Cheating on you?” He smiled. “We’re nothing so that is not exactly cheating ”

“So you are!” She yelled at him.

He keeps laughing. “Sora, we’re not exclusives, I thought you knew that”

“Who? Is that that lives with you?”

“What ?”

“Ssandara?”

“First is Sandara, second, no and third watch your ing mouth, ok?” He grabbed his leather jacket that was lying on a couch.

“It’s her”

“You know, I don’t know why I am explaining this to you. But Sandara is Donghae’s wife. I respect Donghae with my life, actually is the only person I own something. I could never do that” He walked to her as she was kneeled on the bed. “And finally, we’re not exclusives, ok? We’re each other’s toys. Now grow up” He said and his smile fade away.

He walked out of the room and closed the door.

He walked to the living room and spotted the guys.

“Yoongi, do you have a cigarette with you?” Jimin asked, he is the only person Yoongi can’t deny a cigarette or his lighter. “Where is Baekhyun?”

“Had to work” Namjoon said with a can of beer in his hand.

“You’re going to the club tonight?” Jungkook asked while biting a sandwich on his hand.

“No, they are restyling so I have a few days free before going back to work”

“Do you want to go to Jeju with us?” Hoseok asked, he wrapped his arms around Namjoon’s neck.

“Jeju?” The four guys asked in unison.

“I didn’t told you?” Hoseok said his expression was confused.

“No… I don’t think Jisoo would like that. She has a test next week”

“Ah, leave her here; you’re not going to cheat on her”

“I don’t want to let her alone. My job is supporting her”

“Aw… so cute” Jimin commented.

“Jungkook?” Hoseok asked again.

“I have to study for a test too; besides, you’re going back next month. I have to… well I have to meet with someone in a week”

“Who?”

“Somone”

“It’s a girl” Yoongi added.

“Kookie likes a girl?”

“She’s pretty” Jungkook shrugged.

“Well, invite her to Jeju and let’s go!”

“You’re crazy” He said.

“Yoongi, come with your problematic Sora to Jeju”

“Ew” He frowned.

“Jimin?”

Jimin shook his head.

“Where’s Tae?”

“Taking everything but good decisions” Namjoon said.

Wild Tae.

“Are you going to leave me alone in this?”

“Your last option is Mommy Jin” Jimin added.

“Jin is low-key the best, please don’t tell him I said that” Namjoon said again.

“I’ll call him tomorrow. You guys are such a traitors”

“We’re not traitors, Hoseok, you never told us about Jeju” Yoongi patted his shoulders. “I’m leaving”

“Ok” He nodded. “If I would’ve told you before, you would’ve come?”

“No” He said while walking out.

“See? What’s the point then?!”

“Yoongi! Wait for a while” Namjoon called him out. “Baek comes in a hour. He is bringing a package”

He stopped his tracks and turned around.

Stay for a bit and let’s get high.

“What he’s bringing?”

“Some aimies and airplanes”

Stay. Stay. Sounds delicious.

“No” He answered at the end. “Save some for me. I’ll come tomorrow”

“But don’t forget we have the fight club in two days!” Jimin’s voice sounded out loud.

“Yeah, I know!” He entered in the elevator after that.

WHY IS IT SO DARK WHEN YOU'RE NOT HERE.

Fight Club was the huge and wrong reunion they used to have in an abandon alley to give each other a great beat up. For Yoongi’s case, it was a way of let all the anger, emptiness, sadness and sorrow all go. He also receive some punches but he had so many dark feelings inside his body that those never hurt him, but what more can be hurt if everything of him is destroyed?

Jimin made him some serious bruisers on his eyes and lips; he also could dislocate his jaw a bit and he hurt some of his ribs. But Yoongi beat him more serious. He broke some of his ribs, and broke his nose with one fist. He also let his body out of breath when he kicked his stomach strongly. Why these guys are doing this? Because it made them feel better in a weird way and made them feel weak and powerful at the same time.

It’s something appealing for them.

“Jimin...” Yoongi kneeled in front of him. Jimin was laying on the floor in a fetal position hugging his stomach and pressing his eyes shut. He was tired as well and feeling so hurt from everything that just happened but he was way worry about his friend. “Are you ok?”

Jimin shook his head slowly. “But I’ll be fine”

“Do you need a doctor?” Namjoon walked up to them.

He was also beaten.

“No. I’ll be fine” Jimin’s voice sounded off somehow.

“Let’s take him to the doctor” Yoongi said but when he was about to stand up he also felt the pain in his chest.

“You guys give each other some punches, man!” Taehyung added as he was helping Yoongi stand up.

Namjoon was helping Jimin.

“You take Jimin, I’ll be fine” Yoongi told Namjoon.

“I think we need to take you both”

“No. I’ll be fine. It’ll fade away. Take Jimin to the doctor” Yoongi said, after taking a seat and being helped by Taehyung to get his shirt on.

“I’m up for it” Namjoon also helped Jimin to sit beside Yoongi. “But what are we going to say?” He handed his clothes.

“We were assaulted?”

“That’s every year's excuse” Yoongi commented, taking some bandage off his hands.

“But it’s the only valid. We can’t say we beat each other for fun. Street’s fights are illegal”

“Then don’t take me anywhere” Jimin complained. He still had his eyes closed, enduring the pain.

“We need to take you to the doctor” Namjoon told him. “We can figure something out on our way there”

Taehyung helped Yoongi to get inside his car while Namjoon helped Jimin to get inside Taehyung’s car. They were going to take him to the doctor and praying that no one would ask too much about it. This was almost impossible because they would ask so many questions, it will be annoying. But Jimin looks seriously hurt and in pain and they can’t let that slide between their fingers.

It never happened this way before but maybe Yoongi had extra anger today.

And we all know why.

The voice was there remembering him how much of a failure he was and how his mother never loved him and all the things he is used to but that still hurts.

That was the reality of the day he arrived all beat up to the house.

The voice was worse each second he was getting close to the house but then, the sensation of Roseannne being there made him not paid any attention to it any more. He found an excuse to not care. While he was eating and Sandara never stopped watching him, the mere fact Roseanne was there, also eating, not doing anything major created an atmosphere of peace inside him.

It was weird because a few minutes ago he was drowning in pain and now he feels some sort of peace.

Weird but nice.

That girl really makes me angry. Kill her or I will make myself stronger by each pill you take. I swear!

KILL HER NOW.

FINISH HER.

She will separate me from you and I am your only friend you will stay alone forever.

“Every time you asked me to hurt somebody else. I will hurt myself and you know, you know that will shut your mouth”

Then do it.

What are you waiting for?

If you think I’ll stop once you finish with your life then do it.

“I don’t want to”

Do it, or I'll drive you cray to the point of hurting her.

“No”

He looked on his drawer and saw the little bottle empty.

, he drank all the pills and didn’t got the chance to ask Baekhyun for more. Damn it. How can he make this shut up?

Roseanne.

I KNEW THAT YOUR SALVATION IS A PART OF MY LIFE.

By this point, Yoongi is starting to think Roseanne somehow shut the voice in his head. After finishing his cigarette and with half of his energy drink, he walked out of the room ignoring the protest of his rude pet and kicked her door. He was praying for her to open it, to let him in and be by her side. He knows it sound so ing cheesy and it makes him cringe but it’s the only way out when he is out of drugs.

He need