Heartbreaking.

Seungri thinks it’s all a bit heartbreaking, the way Jiyong smiles, the way Jiyong laughs, the way Jiyong’s hands tend to linger. It’s heartbreaking when Jiyong sings, when Jiyong cries (though always with happiness), when Jiyong watches a chick flick without complaining—not even once.

Seungri thinks it’s heartbreaking that it’s not all for him.

*

Lovely.

Seungri finds it lovely how Jiyong’s excited for his date on Friday night, lovely that this may be the one, Seungri, lovely how Jiyong’s got a bouquet of flowers from the florist’s no help needed. Really, it’s lovely how fast Jiyong’s heart races and how his palms sweat.

Lovely is how Seungri’s gotten so good at lying through his teeth.

*

Humiliating.

Seungri decides it’s humiliating how little it took for Jiyong to find someone else, as if Seungri was just something that could be bought for 10 cents apiece, like he wasn’t special enough to hold onto. Like this thing between them was something like a useful contact number in Jiyong’s cell phone. Really humiliating the way his hyungs look at him now, with pity in their eyes, like they’re sympathizing. Sorry, Seungri, you weren’t enough for the genius.

But what’s most humiliating is how Seungri thought otherwise.

*

Frustrating.

Seungri seethes about how god damn frustrating it is, being on the short end of unrequited love. He sees how she looks at him, like Jiyong’s a new plaything, like she’s gone through her fair share of broken toys. Seungri won’t say anything, of course, it’s none of his business (or more like Jiyong doesn’t want it to be his business), and Seungri’s always taken hints.

It’s frustrating because now Seungri can’t tell Jiyong he’s just another Seungri.

*

Pathetic.

Seungri laughs over how pathetic he is. He downs his drink and signals for another one—stat. Sitting at a seedy bar, looking like the poster child for desperate fool, he looks at the letter he’s just received in the mail, the one with the hard-to-read script and two last names joined together with an and. Pathetic because he knows Jiyong’s jumped the gun and is feeling pretty god damn desperate. Seungri wonders how he got her to agree to the wedding in the first place, he doesn’t quite believe that she was one for falling in love in the long-term, binding way her expensive wedding ring required her to.

Seungri stumbles out of the bar thinking about how pathetic it was that he’d go to the wedding anyway, first thing tomorrow morning.

*

Desperate.

Seungri’s feeling a little desperate and maybe a little more than a little hysterical. He signs his name in the book, deposits his gift, looks at the decorating hanging from every surface and somehow finds another way to fall in love with Jiyong all over again, even now, when Jiyong was standing on the opposite end of the aisle and it wasn’t Seungri on the outside of the doors. He can’t believe how ridiculous it is, that he’s here to say goodbye to his last chance, when he didn’t really have a chance to begin with.

The music swells, the doors open, everyone stands and turns, and desperate times make for desperate measures. Seungri’s feeling a little desperate.

*

AN: More angst! Yup. This IS me after all. Maybe fluff later. And before you guys ask, no, I'm not writing a sequel to this. SUFFER THE INESCAPABLE CLIFF-HANGER! *laughs evilly*

So I've been expirementing recently with writing style, and I must say, it's been quite fun. What do you guys think?