GD/CL (A battle we fight over and over again.)

Chaerin gets a text message one Sunday, and after she reads it she snorts and throws her phone aside, returning to her crossword.

But still, she’s never been good with breaking habits, and she knows it’s only a matter of time anyway.

“I hate you. I hate you so much. You ruin everything, you always do. Why I was so stupid and pathetic enough to ask for you back escapes me. I must be a ing moron.”

“Well I’m sorry, babe, but I think the ing moron here is me for taking you back in the first place, when I know all along that you’re nothing more than a worthless pile of .”

“Ouch. As if I hadn’t heard that a million times already. You stupid , you’re just as pathetic as your idiot father before you.”

“How ing dare you? How ing dare you bring up my father? Arrogant , wasn’t it you slobbering at my feet three months away from me? You’re like a helpless puppy, you need someone to hold your hand through everything, don’t you? Ever since your parents abandoned you? To tell you the truth, I can tell why, and I agree with their decision.”

JiYong is awakened at 3 in the morning by his phone buzzing underneath his face. He rubs his face blearily and squints at the screen. He reads the message that just arrived and his heart leaps with joy. He’s instantly awake and begins to type out a reply immediately. Suddenly, he doesn’t feel quite so lonely anymore.

“You know I love you.”

“Mm. Yeah. But not as much as I love you.”

“I don’t think I can live without you again. Please, don’t leave me again. It hurts so much every time.”

“I promise, darling. Never again. Not when I need you just as much as you need me.”

“You’re beautiful, you know. You’re mine.”

“I’m yours. I love you.”

Chaerin flutters outside the cafe door anxiously, wringing her hands and fixing her hair repeatedly. She shivers a bit from the cold February air and decides to just go in once and for all. One last nervous smoothing of her hair and she enters the cafe, bells chiming above her head signalling her arrival. She scans the room and recognizes the familiar shock of blond hair similar to her own. Her heart skips a beat as she takes in his face, he looks tired, remembers how his face felt beneath her fingers, how the lips on that face felt on her skin... She felt a heat rise to her cheeks, shaking her head against the thoughts. She took a deep breath and walked over to him purposefully, trying to calm her racing heart, feeling more and more anxious by the second.

“You came,” he greets.

“Of course, JiYong,” Chaerin replies, a sad smile on her face as she sits down opposite of him.

“Why do we keep doing this, JiYong? To me, to you, to each other? Why do we do it when it hurts so goddamn much each time?”

“Because we love each other. Because we’re stupid fools. I’m so sorry.”

“I’m sorry, too. Sorry that I’m never enough, that neither are you.”

“Chaerin, I hate you so much. You make me cry and you step all over my heart and walk away like you could care less.”

“And I hate you for breaking me time and time ago, making me feel worthless every single time. I can’t do this anymore, JiYong, it’s going to kill me.”

“And you don’t think it won’t kill me, too? How ing selfish.”

“Oh, I’m the selfish one? What about you, you ing bastard?”

“So how’ve you been?” Chaerin stirs her coffee and avoids looking at JiYong when she asks this.

“The same. Missing you. Empty. As per usual.”

“You mean that?”

“I always do.”

They’ve played this game so many times before. Chaerin will ask how he’s been, JiYong will say he’s missed her, they’ll laugh over some ancient joke, their hands will touch by accident (on purpose), soon followed by their lips.

“I spoke to SeungRi about the car again.”

“Did you!?” Chaerin bursts out laughing, slapping her hand on the table.

And then they’ll stay out late, and JiYong will ask if Chaerin wants to spend the night. This’ll lead to breakfast together in the morning, afternoon brunch, and cuddling at night. And days will stretch into weeks, they’ll whisper their I love you’s and they’ll begin to hope again.

“I—” JiYong cuts off as he reaches for the sugar, and so does Chaerin, so that his fingers brush her knuckles. A spark of electricity runs through him and he meets her eyes.

But it never lasts and someone always does something wrong. They’ll cry, they’ll fight, they’ll blame, they’ll forgive. And then there’ll be the final fight where they try to hurt each other in any way they can. And thus they’ll begin the cycle once more.

“Happy Valentine’s Day,” JiYong whispers, his face inches away from Chaerin’s.

But this time Chaerin won’t fall for it again.

(Or so she hopes.)