Top/Seungri (If there's a will, there's a way.)

“Done. We’re done.”

“You don’t mean that.”

“I do.”

“You don’t. You always say it, but you don’t ever mean it.”

SeungHyun watched as SeungRi left, toying with the buttons on his shirt. He wondered, not for the first time, if SeungRi really did mean it this time. If he’d finally had enough, if SeungRi had finally realized that someone like him just wasn’t worth loving.

---

The leaves crunched under SeungRi’s foot as he walked. His eyes were fixed on the figure hunched over on the ground, the one just sitting there with his back pressed against the marble like he honestly had nothing better to do.

“Impressive. You actually found me.”

“It wasn’t hard. A few questions here and there. Mind if I stay?”

“Not yet.”

SeungRi takes it as a no, for now, and chooses his spot against the old maple tree that grew a few feet away.

“Kwon JiYong. Who was he to you?”

“Everything. He was my everything.”

SeungRi pretends like that didn’t hurt.

“You still love him?”

“No. No, I don’t deserve that.”

“Why? Because he was too good for you? That kind of thing doesn’t work. It sure as hell didn’t work for me. I ended up falling anyway.”

SeungHyun’s eyes open, and the sheer hate in their depths almost makes SeungRi want to recoil. The part that didn’t want to move away found it almost endearing. As if that made any sense at all.

“No. You don’t love me.”

“I didn’t know it was your decision.”

“You’re right. Perhaps what I meant to say was you can’t love me.”

“And why not?”

“Because I’m not good, SeungRi. I’m not a good person. I’m not like you, I’m not like him.”

“And if I don’t want good? What if I want bad?”

“Do you want to die, SeungRi?”

“Not particularly.”

“Then you’ll want to stay away from me.”

“Because?”

“Because I killed him. I killed JiYong, SeungRi. I killed the only man who’d ever loved me, practically with my own two hands. It was my fault, my fault, because I let my own damn weaknesses push away the one thing that had saved me. And now he’s gone, SeungRi, he’s gone and I’ll never see him again, and all I’ll ever have is a ing tombstone in the middle of nowhere. I can’t do that to you, too. For my own selfish reasons.”

“And if I love you anyway?”

“You can’t.”

“If there’s a will, there’s a way. And I can promise you, I’m definitely willing. The only question is are you?”