Rating: PG
Word Count: 844
Genre: Fluff? Gen...
Summary: Seunghyun understands Daesung more than anyone else.
AN: First time writing ToDae exclusively :S

SeungHyun’s used to people laughing at him, although it’s not quite always with him. SeungHyun’s used to people respecting him, even if it’s sometimes closer to fear than anything. SeungHyun’s used to people screaming his name, though it’s not always with love and adoration so much as it is threats and insults. All in all, SeungHyun pretty much used to his life, used to being an idol.

SeungHyun’s used to JiYong’s antics, used to the bizarre fashion choices and admittedly disturbing fits of skinship JiYong forced upon him. He’s used to SeungRi’s extremely annoying personality, his need for attention, and adoration for his hyungs. SeungHyun’s also used to YoungBae’s mothering, although he could do without the incessant nagging now and then. This made life as a part of BIGBANG quite comfortable, without many major complications or trouble.

The one thing that SeungHyun didn’t quite get, however, was his last band mate DaeSung. DaeSung, who was the quiet one of the group, the most introspective. There was something about him that made SeungHyun come to a blank whenever he tried to place DaeSung’s personality. It wasn’t that DaeSung was cold, per se, but there was definitely something about him that he kept hidden and was off-limits to everyone but himself.

And he did a good job at it, too. DaeSung had successfully managed to charm variety show hosts and fans alike with his wide smile and self-deprecating humour. He’d taken the industry by storm with his rich, full voice and versatility. He’d transformed into a god overnight with the music video for Tonight. He’d done this all without ever revealing a single thing about himself; his past, his present, his hopes for the future. All that passed through his lips were pre-written answers and well-practiced lies.

Even at home in the hostel, DaeSung had tricked the other members into thinking that they knew the real DaeSung—with the exception of perhaps SeungRi, who’d always been somewhat awkward with the other maknae of the group. JiYong and YoungBae confidently boasted to interviewers about how they’d always confided in DaeSung, but that was just it. JiYong and YoungBae had always confided in DaeSung but it was never the other way around.

SeungHyun watches this from his third-party point of view, hoping that maybe if he watched close enough that he’d be able to capture just a bit of the elusive DaeSung that no one except his family knew about. After 5 years of careful watching—and perhaps a bit of skinship mixed in here and there—SeungHyun was proud to admit that he knew DaeSung better than anyone, certainly better than the rest of BIGBANG did.

Although SeungHyun didn’t go to church with DaeSung like JiYong did, SeungHyun understood the kind of relationship DaeSung had forged with God, having listened in on DaeSung’s nightly prayers for nights upon nights. SeungHyun had been slightly jealous—without a viable reason—of the way DaeSung seemed to trust God implicitly while being unable to tell any of his hopes and fears to the boys he called family that slept in the room next door.

SeungHyun was never the confiding type, but he could still appreciate the kindness and empathy that resounded in his words while he comforted a confused YoungBae, somehow seeming wiser than his years. SeungHyun was somewhat at a loss at how it was DaeSung that comforted his elders without ever needing for the same in return. This mature side of DaeSung solidified the respect that SeungHyun held DaeSung in, and he was comforted to know that there’d always be at least one friend he could turn to in times of need.

SeungHyun couldn’t quite fathom why DaeSung and SeungRi were so uncomfortable with each other. Both strived daily to please those around them, both relied upon their wit and charm for their success. Perhaps where SeungRi had no limits on his personal quest for success, DaeSung was grateful for what he got and never asked for anything more.

And after 5 years of watching and observing, SeungHyun came to the conclusion that, no, DaeSung wasn’t cold and he wasn’t distant. He had woven himself into the fabric of everyone’s life in some way or another and he’d made it so that he played a certain, specific role in their lives, a role that only DaeSung could fulfill. And perhaps that was all DaeSung needed to thrive: a purpose. He needed to be needed and that in itself could make him happy.

And so long as DaeSung was happy, SeungHyun found that he was, too. He surprised himself by becoming dependent on those little instances of when DaeSung’s personality peeked out from behind his comforting smile; he felt a rush of pride whenever he saw DaeSung on television by himself without his BIGBANG family there with him. SeungHyun found that bit by bit, little by little, he had begun to care for this boy whom nobody else truly understood, who only lacked one thing; someone to be there for him as well, if only behind the scenes.