It has been months since I last saw Jiro and yet it seems his memories never leaves me. I can still feel the pain and it doesn't seems to go away. There was a day when I thought that I was better and there were hours that he has been out of my mind but only to come back with more pain the next time. I still cry at night for him,and wished that he comes back in my life.But I know that it will never happen.

I did everything to forget hm, went out with my friends, and yet when I am back in my room and when I am all alone by myself,I still think of him,and yes missed him so much. My friends cheered me up,talked to my best friend long hours over the phone,analyzed everything that I did wrong, and what the possibility of us becoming together again. And yes I know that being together with him is just like next to impossible.

I tried dating other guys but it is a hopeless case.I kept thinking all the time that I was with the guy. I kept comparing the poor guy guy with Jiro and the other guy always end up pale in comparison to him.And at the end of the day I just knew that it is wrong to replaced him with somebody else ,cause nothing can be like Jiro and yes he is the only one that I love and nobody else.

I met guys who are eager to know me,some are already halfway in love with me,without me doing anything.They are eager to please me and wished in my heart that I could return their feelings but I just can't .I happen to meet the guy that used to send me love letters everyday in college,in one of the conferences that I attended. And my friend told me that he still likes me and that he is willing to break up with his girlfriend so that he can openly pursue me.I think that is crazy. How could a guy do that to his girlfriend. He also told my friend that it is me that he truly loves and not her. I analyzed the whole irony of this and the guy is just sticking to the girl as a replacement ? I told myself that i am never be gonna be like that. I told my friend to tell the guy to stick to his girlfriend and not bother me anymore for i know I will never fall for him at all.

There was a doctor who is so sweet and thoughtful. I met Angelo when I was doing a research work in the office of my Uncle.I was in the library trying to dig some informations about health products that they want market,and Angelo came to me and offered to help me and yes he got a lot of magazines and it does contains a lot of material for my research. I accepted his hep not thinking that it was something more that he is interested. He is really interested at me. In between reasearch, he keep asking for a date which I just brushed it off saying that I am busy,and don't have time.If I am not in love with Jiro maybe I could have given him a chance. He is really a sweet guy ,he was the first one to greet me when I passed the Board.And that means that he really looked up for my name out there.

I finally gave up dating, and finally has come to terms that I have to heal first , forget Jiro first before I can really have another true relationship. And this time I will know better.This time I will be wiser and yes will be more open to the guy and be more affectionate. This time I will show him that I really do care for him.

I know that Jiro is just the first and that I could love another person again when the time comes. But for now,I still have to deal with my own grieving process and my own loneliness...and yes it is easier said than done...I never knew that it can be so hard to mend one's broken heart...