And here I am on my Junior year ,in a totally new environment.Tranferring in the middle of high school is the worst thing that can happen to me and the worst thing that can happen to any teen agers like me.From being the cool and popular group to an unknown and unpopular.In school it seems like I don't really exist at all.I have a hard time making friends for everybody has their own set of friends that  can traced down to their grade school.And here I am a total stranger barging on to their lives,I don't think a lot of of young people like that. Mostly they are just curious about me.Where did I come from and who I really am.If they feel that I am a threat,to what??? They they ignored and make it believe that I don't exist at all???

The thing is I am smart.And even if I came from some obscure places,where the latest fashion and gadgets took days or weeks, to find each way, the thing that cannot be ignored is that my brain is a lot better than most of them,and that I can be threat to them.Although,they made fun of me of not knowing the latest trends and fashion, is that I can learn things fast and adopt to the new things around me.Although they thwarted my growth ,I knew that i won't just give up,because they tried to put me down.Although I am quiet in school,I armed myself so that nobody can step on my foot,and I can stood my ground.I late learned that in all adversaries,I learned that I have this inner strenght within me,a strenght or the courage to fight everything.Sometimes when you are alone and you are pushed to the corner,that is the time when you learned about your real self on who you really are and you leaned to depend to only you and nobody else.

As I was fighting myself in school,at home is a different things altogether.I have to live with my Dad ,Ariel and Rainie.Mom still cannot join us full time for there was a lot minute hitch in her job.She is bound to lose all the the benefits that she has work for if she leaves then and there.So she doesn't have any choice but to wait a year before she can fully join us in the city.
And then I thought,why did I have to move if that is the case.I would have been happier back home than being here.

Living with my Dad was never easy.he has this certain discipline in him,that we have to follow ,every little things that he told us to do,nothing short of military schooling.Back home with my Mom,I usually do things by myself.Mom gave us so much freedom and so much leeway.Here in the city,we are mostly cooped up in the house.The city is too dangerous ,for a girl like me to be wondering around all alone by myself.They scared us with their horrid and gruesome stories.Later on,I started to look around and be wary of the places that I go to,thinking ,there might be danger lurking around.My dad always says"It is better to be safe than sorry."

Here in the city ,there was no quiet haven for me.The only quiet haven was my bed with not much of a privacy cause I have to share it with my sisters.I missed the top of the hill,where I go ,when i want to think,when I am upset or when there are things that i need to sort out in my life.Somehow in the muddle of all the chaos and confusion around me, I manage to find salvation to preserve my sanity,I find myself in writing.With the way my mind is working,I just know that i have to jot down in ink what is it all about.And seeing them in ink sort of make it easier to put myself and my life in order.I started writing stories too.My dreams ,my thoughts,I started jotting down.And i smiled and laughed reading those.But I am still afraid and too shy to show it to anybody.I am afraid that somebody might read it and then they won't be too accepting of what I am...who is just a silly,romantic and foolish little girl, who drreams big and think big more than her life itself..

Somehow with all the cute guys around,I was never attracted to any of them.I rerally would like to have a crush as an inspiration to go to class everyday,for i dreaded coming to school everyday.But so far I have found none.How come tha more I got older ,when I thought I would be boy crazy,the more I am not.I can't even think,the last time that I was attracted to a boy.Is it Kyuhyun or yes it is Jaejoong back home.But somehow my feeling for Yesung is something constant...it is always there,in my heart.Is that first love??? I don't really know.But I missed our friendship , his understanding of my  moods and tempers,our togetherness especially now...I wish my friend is here with me now..making me laugh,giving me a reassuring smile when I am insecure and afraid...yes I miss Yesung dorky smile,and also miss Kyuhyun's teasing and starings...I really missed home...