High School seems to be the most confusing year to me.In grade school,everything is pretty much laid out in front of you.Now,you are given the options to choose and if you choose wrong {or something that does not agree with theirs},they sort of shake you and explain to you in details the situation,and in the end,it doesn't matter what you want or what your heart desires.You sort of forget the main issue  and ending up agreeing with them that this is the best for you ,though your heart has alot of questions..Adults has a way of doing that all the time.

There are so many changes in my environment,the people around me and yes even my own body.Sometimes it makes me so afraid and sometimes it makes me happy cause that means that now I am a grown woman.The changes in my body came just like my friends as we gossiped and talked about it.It is also in this year when I had my first period.My classmates and my friends has been having this since last year and I sort of felt that I am the late bloomer in the group.They say that if you have your periods,you tend to act differently now,more refined and a lady ,and move around gracefully,just like the ladies in TV .I always thought that it will come naturally to me but then it is also a learned act and it is something that is passed to you by somebody,somebody that you respect and love like your Mother...

My Mom has not been around much during this time.I have nobody to tell it to.She was quite busy traveling between our town and in the city where my Father was staying and he is in his new work assignment.Although he has not been very well since his surgery from last year.My Mom would stay there in weeks and just come home to check on me and the maid.She always brought my baby brother Key with her,my sister Ariel is still in college and Rainie is with my grandma.I am pretty much alone in all this changes around me.

I guess God is good is some ways for when my Mom was away,someone has stepped up for her ,to guide and teach me .My Aunt who was married to my Mom's youngerst brother is the saving grace for me.She taught me almost everything about the changes on my body and how I should take care of myself.Although they taught Education in our class,but even that is not sufficient for even our teachers are uncomfortable talking about it in front of our class. is such a tabood subject and yes everybody is interested and everybody wants to know everything about it.Most of the time we laughed at the mention of it ,and enough  to cause a ruckus in our classroom ,but then the misinformation on such subject  are tons and tons.Cultures,religions and society sort of have a varying views and misconceptions about this very subject. I also heard an older lady said that is over rated.It is not an all for everything,and yes we laughed at it.But I wonder where did love comes in all of this ?What love has to do with  and the ual acts ?Does and love goes together as the culture dictates and as the church wants it ,as the real reason is for procreation as the God has written in the Bible???? Or is it as the science goes,that we are the highest form in animal kingdom and that it is something that we as an animal needed in our life and feelings and love has nothing to do with it at all ????And what about the conotations that boys do it in an animal way,do it for their needs,and the girls do it in a emotional or passionate way,which means you only do it with someone you have feelings for?? And yes that's why they said that Girls and boys do live in a totally different planets,Boys in Mars and girls in Venus...There will be no definite understanding on this very subject...

My first period came on my freshman year and in the most embarassing way.Although I knew about it and my classmates sort of gave me tips about menstruation,it is something that is not real yet and just  a product of once imagination or an idea.And when it came,I started to feel the pain in the cramps,the uncomfortable feeling of bloatedness,and swelling and yes the unsightly pimple on my face.It is not really a lot but it is a one big pimple right on my cheeks ,where everybody can notice..,And yes I am finally a woman and the whole class has to know about it,as I got up from my chair to submit my test papers to my teacher,and there it was ,the mark and the stain on my uniform staring at everybody as the guys were shocked and the girls embarassed by the whole situation.I was so red when I left the room.Now everyvody knows that Hebe is a  woman...