CHAP 39:  THE END……

Snow is melting slowly. The cold winter has passed. The freezing and dry air is replaced with warm and comfortable one. But unintentionally the pale sunlight makes people have an urge to be near someone else, to be wrapped in the warmth of someone.  

In the meantime, new school year has already begun. It’s been quite long since Kevin last saw his lover. Eli didn’t answer his calls for once. Although Kevin has come to his class to find him many times, all he receives are just some shakes of head from Eli’s classmates. He doesn’t know what he has done wrong to be treated this cold. Their relationship has overcome many difficulties. But why so sudden? It can’t end this way, can it? Every day Kevin brings some hope to that class and as easily as taking out a thing in a pocket, his hope is blown away. Every day his lonesome carriage breaks many people’s hearts. If Eli intends to do this, doesn’t he deserve to be punished properly?

Gathering his courage, Kevin drags himself to the latter’s house. He is soon greeted by Eli’s sister. Something isn’t right. She isn’t facing Kevin, but keeps on doing her work instead.

“He isn’t at school?” she asks nonchalantly.

“He hardly ever goes to school these days. He never replies my calls and messages.” Kevin nervously answers.

“I don’t know. He might still have that child in his mind. He needs time, I think.” She says.

“Sorry. It should be you that suffers more and overcomes more difficultly.” She turns around smiling weakly.

“It’s okay.” Kevin shakes his head then makes some excuses and leaves. Something is squeezing his heart tightly.

Eli’s sister slightly opens the door to his room. Sticking her head in, she drops a simple line.

“You shouldn’t just lie there.”

The glow of the sunset pours onto Kevin’s tiring walking figure and reflects on Eli’s thoughtful face. It must be time for the sun to set, for something to wither.

In the weak light from his desk lamp, Kevin heaves a long sigh dropping his head on his arm. Why is everything so blank and tiring? Suddenly his phone rings, it is Dongho, not the one he is waiting for.

“Kevin, are you going to Eli’s house tomorrow?” Dongho asks directly.

“Huh?” Kevin is taken aback by the question.

“Didn’t Eli tell that there would be no one home so he wanted us to drop in? Eli didn’t tell you?” Dongho explains.

“Oh, I forgot.” Kevin lies.

“Shall we go together?” Dongho asks.

“I can come alone. Thank you.” After thinking for a while, Kevin replies.

“Alright.” Dongho says then hangs up.

Kevin’s heart clenches as tight as his grip on his phone. Why didn’t Eli tell him anything? They are still together, aren’t they? He should find the answer to this question by himself soon. Otherwise, his heart will be shattered gradually and his mind will go insane.

Kevin hesitantly takes a step into Eli’s room. The scene inside startles him pretty much. Alcoholic smell almost makes the boy lose his breath. On the wooden floor, beer cans are thrown everywhere making it hard to find a place to sit or even stand. Kevin frowns, thinking how long it takes to make such a mess.

“Are you alright? Don’t make any noise!” a girl in an extremely y outfit orders with her sour voice pulling down a guy who is dancing wildly without a shirt.

“Hi Kevin, why so late?” Dongho, sitting on a tool in a corner of the room, raises his voice asking cheerfully. It seems that he has drunk some beer.

“Oh Kevin!” Eli appears from behind the curtain. Kevin is kind of shocked to see his boyfriend with light pink hair. Kevin can’t deny that that color fits Eli well. But he looks absolutely like a playboy now. Kevin doesn’t like that, something isn’t right with it, something fishy. He prefers black hair like the day Eli met his parents.

“Hey guys, this is Kevin, my boyfriend.” Eli stands up from his seat making a beeline to Kevin. He holds Kevin’s shoulders so tight that Kevin feels a little uncomfortable. He must be drunk now. Kevin never sees the drunken Eli before. The guy is really different.

Trying his best, Kevin forces a smile to form on his lips. Anyway, this is the first time he has seen his lover after a long while. He shouldn’t complain or think much. Eli kicks all the obstacles away managing to find a place for Kevin to sit. After handing Kevin a glass of wine, he leaves with other guys or girls.     

“Put your drink up!” a girl shouts tipsily.

Not having time to react, another girl gets close to him and starts to caress his face in a seductive motion. Of course, a person like him can’t accept that. He manages to evade all the contacts. Snuggling up in a corner, Kevin watches scene in front of his eyes. He can’t believe that this is the place where he took an important step in his growth. He, since that time with his lover, has engraved this place deep in his mind. And look at it now, drinking, dancing, kissing, making out are everywhere. He feels like a fish out of water and sick of this as well. Even Dongho falls in line with them.

Time passes by, everyone is tired and drunk. They drift off on the bed, the floor or just simply lean against the wall. Kevin shifts uncomfortably in the tiny space. He really wants to go home but he hasn’t talked to Eli yet. And it is his main purpose of this visit and all the suffering. Eli just tries this way or another to ignore Kevin’s existence in the room. That, more or less, hurts the boy.

Hoon, who is lying next to him, suddenly pulls him close. Kevin’s attempt in struggling to get out of the other’s embrace is in vain since Hoon is much stronger. As a result, Hoon continues his unconscious acts. He indecently crashes his lips on Kevin’s ones. Widening his eyes in shock, Kevin pushes the other away with all his might.

After getting out of Hoon’s hold, Kevin runs to the bathroom to wash his face, especially his lips. What was going on? Where was Eli? Kevin being here isn’t to be kissed by some drunken guys. He misses Eli’s kisses. He needs his boyfriend.

Tiredly walking back to the room, Kevin quietly opens the door. The scene in front of his eyes shocks him to death. A guy with the light pink head of hair is kissing intensely a girl with her dress hung so low that Kevin is sure that it will slip off anytime soon. Shock after shock, Kevin isn’t able to endure anymore. Therefore he runs out of the house as fast as he can.

Eli is drunk, right? Yeah, he must be. So he lost his control, didn’t him? Definitely. The kiss is understandable. But… but everything that happens these days isn’t understandable! All the missing, all the hiding, all the ignoring… He needs Eli to clarify everything. This is so frustrating and painful. The sound of moving air and the hair slapping Kevin’s face don’t seem to help him decrease the discomfort in his mind.

Kevin’s running figure quickly drowns into the darkness. Again, it is so lonely and heartbreaking. Intermittently behind the curtains appears a person. The outstanding pink shade also seems darker. His grip tightens then loosens…

Kevin carefully turns to a corner of the library. Eli has told him to meet up here, the place that has started many things between them. The other guy arrived there a while ago and is waiting for him on that bench. His eyes are staring into the blank space outside the window. Kevin clears his throat with a cough to catch the latter’s attention.

“We should… break up…” Eli states as soon as he turns around.

“…” Kevin hasn’t managed to let out a word. His facial expression hasn’t changed much since it’s so sudden that he can’t find a way to react.

“You kissed Hoon that day.” Eli answers simply, not a hint of anger in his voice.

“It was you kissing the other girl!” Kevin retorts. An uncomfortable feeling rises in his heart.

“That’s even easier.” Eli shrugs.

“Why?” Kevin bites his bottom lip.

“No reason. I just want to get many girls to hang out.” Eli replies indifferently.

“What does that mean?” Kevin asks again feeling his heart clench tight.

“Why don’t you understand?” Eli says not even looking at the other.

Kevin’s body is shaking in anger. That’s unacceptable! Not thinking much, he takes out his couple ring with Eli and throws it in Eli’s direction. He turns around and quickly leaves the library. Nothing changes much after he leaves. The place is quiet as it has ever been. Eli still looks out the window. It seems that everything is going according to the plan.

Shifting uncomfortably on his seat, Kevin has thought a lot about his last conversation with Eli. They really did break up, didn’t they? Isn’t it a too easy ending for such a love story? Kevin doesn’t want that. He has to do something.

“I don’t understand. Let’s meet at the library after school. We need to talk.”

Kevin takes out his phone and types a message for Eli then resumes his study. It’s really hard to concentrate on the lesson while he just wishes the day will pass quickly and he can talk to his boyfriend and everything will be solved happily.

The school day has been over for a few hours. Darkness has invaded the sky almost completely. There is still no sign of the other.

The girl who is always the last one to leave the library has gone home. Kevin is still sitting there clinging onto the little hope that Eli will turn up. All is silent.

Kevin drops his head on the table. Waking up totally from the short nap, he is extremely hungry and sleepy now. The night is falling.

“I’m really sorry, Eli. I’ll wait for you to call me. Definitely will…” Kevin leaves a message since the other guy doesn’t answer his call.

Their first photo together is still set at the wallpaper of Kevin’s phone. A quarter of their faces with front hair and eyes… so incomplete…

Kevin has never stopped trying. He calls and sends messages to Eli every day. Things, like Kevin’s attempt, have never changed, which means no response at all. Till one day…    

“Eli?” Kevin speaks as soon as the other line picks up.    

“It’s me, his sister.” The other says making Kevin a bit disappointed.

“Where’s Eli? I want to talk to him.” Kevin asks sounding tired but urgent.

“If Eli and you keep on cheating, breaking up is unavoidable.” she blurts out, emphasizing the last word.

“Goodbye.” She says, not waiting for any reply from the boy.

Putting his phone back into his pocket, he still can’t accept this. He still doesn’t want to lose his hope. He still wishes things will look up.

“Eli, this is the last message I send you. I still love you a lot. I don’t want to break up with you. I don’t know why you did that. Tomorrow morning, before school, I will wait for you at the river bank where you love most. If you don’t come, I will give up then.”

Since the early morning, Kevin has come there. Looking at the beautiful river and sky above, his mind somewhat relaxes. He still remembers when Eli took him here. That time was really important and happy to him. He doesn’t know whether he could stand up strong if there wasn’t that time. He remembers that Eli said that he was the sky to protect him. But why? The thought twists his heart. Eli is more like a river, like Kevin has thought. He is sweeping Kevin’s everything away, including happiness.

Under the same tree, Kevin is waiting patiently. In fact, he is arranging his mind, preparing for an end, yet still keeping some hope. He is basically a stubborn person. Despite knowing the more he hopes, the more he gets hurt, he still wants to cling onto it.

Suddenly someone calls him from afar. That must be Eli. He turns around quickly and runs to the other who is on his bike. But before Kevin reaches him, Eli has stopped him on his track.

“Don’t come over here. We are strangers now.” Eli shouts loudly. The distance of just more than ten meters seems too far to shorten.

“Don’t you want to make up with me? I love you. I don’t want to break up.” Kevin yells back. His shaking voice still sounds so innocent. That even makes the scene more heartbreaking.

“I can’t wipe your tears anymore.” Eli says coldly. Not until now does he notice that Kevin’s hair has grown longer and his face looks gaunter. But that doesn’t matter anymore. He throws back Kevin’s ring.

After seeing Kevin catches it, he turns around and says “goodbye” to the other then rides away.

.

.

.

.

.

End

.

.

.

No tears

.

.

.

No pulling back

.

.

.

Just silently watching the other disappear

.

.

.

Just biting lips to control every emotion that is rising deep inside

.

.

.

Winds are still blowing slightly but enough to make the high grass sway in the air. Everything stays the same as if the cold ending of this love never happened.

What is the season now? Kevin doesn’t care much. He still keeps every habit of his. But there is something missing. He doesn’t want to figure it out.

Walking between the bookshelves, the boy suddenly stops on his track. There is a slot between those books that is big enough to put a mobile phone in. Kevin’s fingers trace the backs of the books. The ring sparkles in the sunlight. Exactly the same place with where they first had a conversation. The memory is still intact but why did the fact change so much?

Eli, you are my first love. Therefore, I don’t know how a love affair ends.

The school cultural festival is held again. The atmosphere is still that exciting and enjoyable. Dongho drags Kevin to every stall. His friend has found a new boyfriend. It’s no longer Kevin’s concern since the other changes his lover like changing clothes. Kevin doesn’t approve of that but what can he do? Dongho is happy with that so Kevin just forcefully accepts that lifestyle and hopes that he will find the true one soon.

“Wait a second. I’ll forget to do something.” Dongho suddenly says then leaves in hurry.

Kevin patiently checks his watch and does what he is told. Looking up from the watch, his heart skips a beat. That silver head of hair… since when has Eli dyed his hair that color again? Nonchalant steps… the familiar Eli that he used to be afraid of. He takes a deep breath and wait for the moment he can face his still love. After the day at the river, they never meet again. Kevin has been stupidly waiting for this moment.

However, nothing happens. Eli just walks like that, towards Kevin’s direction, faces the boy and passes him. Neither a word nor a blink is seen. Kevin seems to be non-existent in the other’s eyes. Kevin seems to have never appeared in the other’s life. And like Eli had said, they are strangers now.

If ending a love affair is this painful then I don’t love. And will never do.

Kevin takes out his ring and carefully puts it on the photo frame where there is a picture of four smiling students. Time to let something go… 

A/N: Long time no see, everyone!!!~~

Anyone misses me??? Tell me yes coz I miss my readers like crazy =))))))))))

Sorry for keeping you guys waiting for too long. But at least I'm here for an update now :D

Unfortunately, I come back with a not-so-happy chapter TT^TT

I feel very bad to write about my lovely Elvin's breakup >.<

And it's also the first time I write about breakups so I don't know how to write probably. Please understand :))

From now on, I'll speed up the story flow a little so that I can finish it soon. But that doesn't mean I'll update fast *bad author* =))))))))))

Tell me what you think about this chapter, ok?? I miss reading comments :((((

HOPE YOU GUYS ENJOY READING AND PLEASE COMMENT!!!!!!

KEEP SUPPORTING UKISS <3333333333333333333333333333

BY THE WAY, IT'S MY BIRTHDAY TOMORROW!!! I'LL TURN EIGHTEEN!!! YAY~~!!!! 

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME =)))))))))))))))))