CHAP 17: RAIN……

Kiseop’s POV

I run away from Kevin extremely fast. I both want to be with him and leave him at the same time. My mind is so confused. But it’s not important now because I have already left. What worries me is how Kevin is feeling now. He has been crying so hard when I told you we couldn’t be friends. I am wondering if he is suffering from the pain like I’m now. I feel so guilty if he is. Through his innocent smiles and simple thoughts, I know he hasn’t been through many pains before. If this is the most painful experience he has ever felt, it will mean I have left him a scar in his flawless heart. However, leaving him is the best thing I can do for him. He can step straight forwards to his real love without considering much about me. After running for a while, I hear his voice calling behind. “Be happy…” he screams loudly, I think. But to me, it’s just a whisper as I has run too far. As it takes him that long to let out just two simple but meaningful words, Kevin must make up his mind and wish me that with all his heart. Therefore, I have to live happily from now on so that I won’t disappoint him. But how can I survive in that way? I can’t imagine how my life in the future will be without him because he has already taken my heart away………

I turn around to see if Kevin is still there. There isn’t Kevin anymore. Now I have run out of Kevin’s sight, tears freely start to fall down from the corners of my eyes nonstop. I can’t control myself anymore. Everything I have convinced myself and determined to do from the previous moment is no longer worth. The reason seems to be useless. All of my emotions explode furiously. My weakness, my fragility, my timidity, my anger, my sadness, my depression, my pain, my fear, my happiness and my love… all are shown over my facial expressions and actions.

I run… run away… run fast… run with all my might…

I shed tears… I burst out crying… I cry loudly… I cry my heart out…

All I can do is just run and cry………

I keep on running and crying till I have no strength left………

I don’t know where I am now and where I am going to………

I get lost in the middle of this world which is both beautiful and painful at the same time………

I get lost in Kevin’s loving world………

I get lost in my mind’s own world………

Everything of mine is just so lost and stuck………

I can barely feel anything now………

Coldness from the winds………

Warmth from the stream of people………

Sweetness from his last kiss………

Bitterness from the moment my lips parted away with his………

Pain from his refusal………

Happiness from the hope that he will be happiness with his real love………

Nothing can be felt now………

I just let the fate lead me to where it wants me to go………

Because nothing is important now………

Because he left me………

Nope………

Because I let him go………

It doesn’t matter now………

My sight goes blurred………

My mind goes blank………

Everything goes white………

At the moment, I really get exhausted. There is no strength left in my body. No strength to run. No strength to cry. I can’t manage to do anything now. I drop myself on the sidewalk. Staring blankly into the space, I let everything surrounding me keep on with its work. Not caring anything if it affects me, all I want and need now is just some silence and relaxation………

Kevin’s POV

The cold wind slaps my face hard and ruffles my hair. I watch as Kiseop runs away. I want to chase after him but something holds me back. What is that? It’s pretty simple. I don’t deserve to have a guy like him. He is just so nice and what about me? I am so normal. In addition to that, like he said, my feeling for him isn’t love. My heart has already belonged to someone that I can’t even meet again. I am so blind to such an extent that I’ve been a fool breaking his beautiful heart. I can’t imagine how painful he is now. How can I be such an iron-hearted person?

Although my eyes have been puffy from crying, tears haven’t stop escaping from them. My sight has gone blurred because of the water cover that I create myself. I get out of the cabin difficultly since my whole body is shuddering. The moment I step out of it, my legs are no longer able to apply the pressure. I drop on my knees and cry out loud right away ignoring all the stares and comments from passers-by. My entire body is trembling. I look so mournful and pitiable. But I don’t care about that. Nothing can matter now when one of the people I care most has left me!

I start to blame myself for everything I did that both Kiseop and I now have to suffer. Because of my stupid heart, I have just hurt the graceful Kiseop. And me, I have lost the opportunity to have the most perfect person in the world. Why couldn’t I just deceive myself and accept his confession? Everything would be less painful and become better at present. On the other hand, I can’t accept his confession. Doing that is much crueler than just rejecting him now. If I accepted, he might get hurt even more severely when leaving him. Thinking like that, letting him go and find new love may be the best solution to our problem.

Wiping the tears away, I see his figure gradually disappear from my sight. The only thing I can do now is to wish him recover quickly and be happy with his new love soon. Living without me may be the best for him. Trying my best to get up on my feet, I clean the dust clinging on my clothes. I brace myself for a goodbye screaming loudly so that he can hear it. “Be happy…” However, he has run so far that maybe my scream is only a whisper to him. I hope that he can still hear it because it is my last wish and words for him. “Kiseop, please be happy……” I pray with all my heart.

~End of POV~  

Everything, to Kiseop and Kevin, seems to stop as one sits on the sidewalk and the other stands on the street. They are too busy to care more about the other things around than their own thoughts. Both place their shaky hands on their confused hearts. Hearing their heartbeats, they realize that life still goes on and they still haven’t known which way they should choose to go. What is waiting for them at the end of the street is something that they are unaware of. All they need to do is take a step forward. But they don’t have the heart or strength to do that. They need time and some guts. So for now they just let the fate lead them to where it wants……

As they both take a step, the rain starts to fall. Two figures are walking under the rain. Two figures are walking on their own ways. Two figures are living their own lives. From now on, they are just two separate figures. Although they are walking under the same rain and living in the same world, they are now two strangers that are not involved in each other anymore……

Rain is still falling. Rain makes their hair wet, rolls down their faces and makes its way on their skins. The cold raindrops cling on them. Rain often washes away everything. Hope this time, rain can wash away their complicated thoughts and their tangled emotions so that they can live a better life since now…………

A/N:

Sorry for breaking your hearts with previous chapter T__T but that was what I expected *smirk*

In the event that UKISS successfully ended their Japan tour and my exam has a good result *jump* *clap*, I update sooner than I expected ^^

Although this chap doesn’t have many contents, I still think it’s necessary for a new beginning. Hope you don’t think it’s boring =)

WATCH OUT BECAUSE ELI WILL BE BACK NEXT CHAPTER!!!!!

HOPE YOU ENJOY READING AND PLEASE COMMENT!!!!!!!!

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