CHAP 9: FADE AWAY…

Kiseop’s POV

“It’s really cold, isn’t it?” I break the silence.

“Uhm. And I’m wondering how you can bear the cold with only one shirt.”

“I didn’t find it cold like now when I went out to meet up with Dongho and his friends, included you. But I guess I was wrong.” I smile embarrassingly then breathe out my hot breath into my freezing hands.

I find that he is freezing too. Because he is shivering hard.

“Are you OK?” I ask concernedly.

“I guess.” He answers making a white smoke out from his little mouth.

“But I don’t think so. You seem to be very cold.” He nods his head slowly.

I feel so guilty. If he didn’t give me his jacket, he wouldn’t suffer from the cold right now. A brilliant idea pops in my head. Why don’t I warm him up?

“Uh…Kevin~ah… Let me warm you up.” I offer shyly.

“What do you mean?” He queries. His widened eyes are so cute.

“Just accept and you will know.”

He nods his head hesitantly. Just waiting for that, I grab his hand raising it slowly closer to my mouth. I blow my hot breath into his hand. Holding it tightly, I put it into my pocket together with mine. He blushes slightly. His blushed cheeks make him more adorable than ever.

“Do you feel better now?”

He doesn’t answer but nods slowly, eyes stuck onto the ground. Feeling his slender hand lying entirely in mine and having him nestle into my body is almost the sweetest things I have ever felt. There is no distance between us now. Our warmth hang around our body makes us feel a lot warmer than before. 

Snow flowers are falling from the dark blue sky. Some cling onto branches that lose lots of leaves. The street lamps and the lights from some shop illuminate the road which is already covered by a thin snow layer. The snowy landscape surrounding us is so peaceful.

 Staying in this condition is the only desire I have. It’s just so lovable and romantic. So this moment please last forever. But god doesn’t know how to satisfy his child.

“Let’s talk about what we paused when we were in the rest room.” Kevin suddenly remember the reason why we’re here. Why doesn’t god let him forget about that?

“Sure. You say first.” I respond.

“You say first.” He insists.

“OK.” I agree then slowly say what I was going to say.

“Sorry for kissing you all of a sudden and without your permission.”

“Why did you do that?”

“If I answer truly, you will definitely laugh at me.” What a shame of me!

“I won’t. I promise. I want to know the exact reason.”

“You promise?”

“Yeah. I won’t break my promise. Believe me. Do I look like that kind of people?”

I laugh at his question and so does he.

“OK. I just want to make sure.” I say before continuing.

“Actually, I don’t know why. I never do that to anyone. But when it came to you, I just couldn’t control myself. I just did it unconsciously.” I say without looking at him. I’m too scared of how he will react. In fact, I want to confess to him right now. But it would be too fast and brusque.

“Oooh. I see.” He says. A little disappointment and a little relief are shown through his voice.

“That’s also the reason why I ran away. I was so scared and shameful. I’m really sorry.”

“Oooh. I see.” He repeats his previous sentence just like he has nothing else to say.

“So what were you going to tell me?”

“Ah. I just wanted to ask you why you kissed me then ran away and how I could express my gratitude towards you for saving me. You have already answered why you did that. And the question how to show my gratitude hasn’t been answered yet.”

“Your first kiss is the biggest gratitude I have ever received!” I just to make the awkward atmosphere become better.

He suddenly takes his hand out of my pocket then turns around. Now his back faces me. The moment he takes his hand away, I feel like I have just lost something important. That feeling makes me so painful and empty. Not wanting him to be angry and myself experience that terrible feeling, I turn him to face me.

“What’s wrong? I didn’t mean to make you angry. I’m sorry if I have already done.”

“It’s OK. I am just wondering how you know that was my first kiss.” He says shyly.

“How you kissed me back showed everything. Oooh. One more thing I want to ask. Why did you respond my kiss?” I ask curiously.

“I don’t know. Stop talking about that kiss!” He commands blushing hard.

“OK. OK. But do you want me to teach you to kiss more skillfully?” I suggest jokingly to break the awkwardness between us then run away being sure he will hit me for that.

“Yah!!!! You naughty. Stop now! Kiseop! You won’t be able to run away from me.” He yells chasing after me.

He is so cute even when he’s angry. I think I have fallen for him. And I love everything about him. His bright smile, his sweet voice, his graceful face, his slender hands………

When I turn around to see whether he is near me or not, I suddenly receive a snowball right in my chest. I have to admit that he is a good thrower. Not wanting to be the only one who is being thrown, I quickly make a snowball and throw back at him. He is so fast that he can avoid my throw easily. Our snowball attack begins. We have a lot of fun together for that game.

After that, I walk him home not wanting him to be under any thread. I think everyone can be attracted by him and want him. That thought scares me a lot so I can’t set my mind at rest if I let him go home alone.

At his house’s gate, he steps into the alley to his house closing the gate then brace himself for a goodbye. I wait till he reaches the door and he knows I’m waiting. Because every few steps, he turns back to greet me such as”thanks” or”goodnight” or”take care” … He knows well how to make my heart skip a beat or even take it away from my chest easily!

I walk away when seeing the door closed. I walk home not letting my mind stop thinking about him for at least one second. I’m wondering how he feels about me. I hope not a weird or a bad guy. Because I’m not. It’s just my mind goes insane and illogical when he’s with me. Should I confess to him and ask him to be my boyfriend?

After getting home, having a hot bath, I climb on my comfortable bed looking for a sound sleep. But all my efforts are in vain. His face always appears when I’m trying to sleep. A sleepless night and a tired morning are waiting for me…

Kevin, see how much you drive me crazy !!!!

Kevin’s POV

I’m home now. Kiseop has just walked me home and left. Today is the most special day that ever happened to me. It is not only terrifying but also wonderful. Let me see what makes it that special. First is knowing the guy I have spent most of my recent time was the one I wanted to run away from nearly at the first sight. Second is almost being by seven men. Third is being rescued by a great hero. Fourth is being stolen my first kiss by that rescuer. Fifth is a coincidence that he is my date mate. Sixth is being saved by him again. Should I count this? It’s seeing his perfect skin and abs. And the last is having a great time with him on the way home. A lot of events have happened today!

To talk about Kiseop, I don’t know how to describe him exactly. I must say that he is an ulzzang. He is tall and well-built. His face is flawless. I specially love his shy face. I think it’s pretty cute. About his character, he is so kind, sweet, manly, heroic, brave, caring, humorous, honest and even shy and adorable. Why do I use so many adjectives to describe him like this? In general, he has made the day that would be the most horrible day of my life become much better. I think I want to meet him again someday.

How much special today is makes me that much tired. I think I should rest my mind and my body. And the best way to relax is having a hot bath or eating something or listening to some songs. I’ll try all of them because I’m really exhausted.

I climb into the bath letting my body rest in the lukewarm water and my mind blow away. Unconsciously, Eli’s image appears in my head. Why can he appear here? I know the reason is this bath was where I talk to him about my hobbies of flowers and sitting alone in the library. Damn it, Eli. Get out of my mind!

It seems that having a hot bath is useless. Let’s find something to eat! I open the fridge taking out some slices of sandwiches and chocolate milk. I’m about to eat but I stop. I might get fatter! Where the hell do I have that thought? I’m not the kind of people who can gain weight easily. It was Eli !!!! He found that I was looking for food while talking to him and told me not to eat. Now what? I can’t even eat my night snack in peace. I hate you, Eli.

Once again, eating is useless just like bathing. My last solution is listening to some songs. It seems to be the best way to relax too. I turn on my iPod and choose U-KISS playlist. Their songs always make me feel better every time I’m in bad mood.

The songs slowly start brightening my feelings gradually…

Come on, come on, don’t hesitate and grab my hand
Through the forest of buildings in the sky, I will fly
Everything you believe is reality
Scattered beneath your feet are hundreds of millions of stars

It’s Neverland. A song for clubs… The beat is very strong. It makes me want to dance along every time I hear it even when I have no strength at all like right now…

We have our lovely memories
That we’ve piled up together but,
Because we can’t spend tomorrow like we did today,
I’m going to tell you a big lie

It’s Tick tack. Their Japanese debut song… Their Japanese is really good. They must have put a lot of efforts in this song. That is what I admire of them. Always try their best to reach their goal…

Forever, forever, you will be filled in my heart
I'll risk everything and only protect you for always

I don't want a lot from you - just stay by my side
When things are hard for me, I think of you and I get happy

I've always waited for you - lingering in front of your house
And just coming back home, as I thought of you

Please give me the courage to love you for all my life
Don't leave me and go - always stay by my side

I love you, I love you, I love you forever
All the things I saved up, I will give to you

It’s Lifetime for Kissme. A perfect song for people who are depressed… Its sweet melody and lovable lyric make me love this life more…

If you are tired and exhausted and you need someone else
I will be there, I'll treat you well so you can rest
I will stand behind you.

I'll look at you alone, the love of a friend
Though I try to erase, I cannot erase

It’s A friend’s love. A tragic song… The guy in the song is so poor. His love is nothing but hopeless. But he doesn’t give up all his hopes. In the end, he still thinks that he won’t let his love go in his next life. If I’m in his situation, I won’t be as strong as him. I think it also give me strength not to give up everything…

Even if the world turns its back on me and ignores me
I am not scared anymore, because you are next to me
I, I, I know exactly what you’d say

Somebody take me away 
Somebody take me away
Somebody take me away
Somebody take me away
‘Cause I can’t take this pain

It’s Take me away. A great duet… Although it is pretty sad, I still find it somewhat optimistic...

I still cannot erase you
I keep thinking about you
I really miss you
I cannot sleep at all at night
The sound of the raindrops hitting on the window of my heart
The place that you left
I really miss you
And I cannot sleep at all at night

It’s 0330. I was attracted by the first note of its melody. This song is so impressive and touching. When I need to cry but I can’t because that problem doesn’t deserve my tears, I listen to it and consider it as the reason why I cry. It makes me feel relieved a lot…

You get some right, you get some wrong
Although tiring there will be days to smile
When you fall down, when you get up
Although tiring there will be days to smile,
Eventually a day to smile will come
Eventually a day to smile will come

It’s Someday. My most favorite song… I just love it so much. I don’t think I could survive and live well without this song. Both the lyric and the melody contain so much power. Every time I want to quit something, this song gives me hopes and energy to move on. It brings me back to real life, helps me face the fact and look on the bright side…

Listening to music, I suddenly taste something salty in my mouth. I raise my hand touching my cheeks. They are wet because of tears. I have no idea since when tears have been fulfilling my eyes and rolling down my cheeks. They reach the corner of my lips running into my mouth. I can feel their saltiness. Why am I crying? I have nothing to cry. Although today many things bad had happened, they all passed and I am now totally good, not counting the tiredness. Is it because the songs are so sad? Nope. Those songs always make me feel better not worse. So why am I being like this?

I happen to remember that I used to listen to those songs with Eli through the phone once. I introduced my favorite songs to him. We listened to them together and he said that he loved them too. When listening, sometimes we sang along together. His singing voice was really awkward but his rapping was wonderful, I must admit. Those moments were so memorable.

Looking around the room, I realize that everything is involved with him. Every corner of the room where I sat to talk to him, the bed where I heard his voice waking me up, the window where we had our first identified evidence… His image clings on everything of mine. I have got used to having him around. I just miss him so badly. Why does the guy on the phone have to be Eli? How can he make me cry when we just met each other officially once?

I have thought that today with Kiseop could make Eli fade away in my mind. But it seems that I was wrong. I am completely wrong.

I miss you, Eli…

A/N: AS PROMISED, THIS UPDATE IS FAST, RIGHT? I DON'T KNOW WHY BUT THIS IS THE CHAPTER I LIKE MOST SO PLZ TELL ME WHAT YOU THINK ABOUT IT !!!!!!!!

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http://www.asianfanfics.com/story/view/131133/blankets-kevin-kevinwoo-kiseop-ukiss-kevinxkiseop-vinseop