HOLD YOUR HAND AGAIN - LEE HI

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cuUEnho33so

Despite your pleas, Kai had insisted that you slept on your bed while he slept on the floor. No matter how sick he may be, it was not to the point that he needed a bed that badly. In truth, all he wanted was to stay by your side for the rest of the night and to sleep next to you. It had been a long time since he last slept over, maybe two years now. Back then when he slept over, the two of you would spend all night cooking new recipes and watching movies together. You would be the one to knock out first while he had to watch the movie all the way till the end himself. He didn’t think much of anything then, since his heart had only seen Hayoung. When Hari’s head would land on his shoulder and her arms would hold him by the waist, he had only smiled and thought to himself that it was no more than just a friendly cuddle.

But truth be told, friends do not cuddle with each other. They do not hold hands, they do not give each other kisses on the cheek, and they certainly do not sleep over at each other’s homes.

After a couple of hours of talking it out and finally setting things right between them, Hari forced him to eat the congee, take some medicine and then called it a night. She found a pair of old shirts and shorts that Kai had left in her closet years ago, tossed them at him and went to wash her face. When she came back, she was radiating with a certain glow around her and said, “Jongin-ah, sleep so your fever can go down, alright? If you don’t feel well, wake me up so I can check up on you. Goodnight…” and then she jumped on the bed and knocked out.

As Kai lifted his head up slightly to catch a better look at Hari’s sleeping face, a warm smile creeped up on his face. She fell asleep with a bonnet over her head, and a small pout was on her lips. Her pink hair was fading and getting longer, her bangs almost hiding away her eyes.

How is it possible that someone can be asleep and still look charming? Kai wondered to himself.

Even though she hasn’t forgiven him for what he had done against her, she wasn’t that mad either. It used to be so easy reading Hari’s mind, she was almost like an open book with the words all out in the open, but tonight she seemed a little harder to read. There were certain times where Kai would catch her look off guard, staring at something in the blank space of the air and wonder what she was thinking about. Her eyebrows would pinch together tightly, just as she always did whenever she was stressing over something, but since he was trying to repair their broken friendship, he did not bother to pester her with questions. At this point, they were still friends, but he had no right to get in her business like he used to.

Kai laid his head back down on the pillow. He only needed some time, and within that time, surely Hari would gain back her trust for him once and for all. After all, they were best friends… who belonged with each other. Kai was going to do everything in his power to ensure that nothing would get in between them, even if he had to deal with some bad blood to set things right. Hari is his best friend, and he needed her more than anything else in the world.

A man doesn’t need much in their life, as long as there is that one person in their life to keep them strong and unrelenting, life can always go on.

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The sound of pots and pans clattering against one another woke you up. Slowly, you peeled one eye open while the other remained closed. What time was it? Glancing towards the small opening of your curtain, you could see the morning light beginning to spill into your room. If it had not been the smell of sizzling bacon in the air, you would have went back to sleep. The moment the aroma drifted into your room, your mouth began to water with hunger, and that’s when you knew that you could no longer stay in bed.

Shuffling out of bed, you trudged out the door and to where the scent was leading to.

In front of you, Kai was back to his normal self, as if the fever from yesterday had never happened. His hair was slightly wet from his early shower and the clothes that he had worn last night had been folded neatly on the kitchen table, ready to be stowed back away. He was wearing a white collar shirt with an apron draped over it as he buzzed around the kitchen grabbing ingredients, his attention solely focused on the meal he was prepping.

You crossed your arms and a small frown appeared on your lips. This had been a scene you had wanted for a long time, the image of it constantly playing in your head and wondering if the day would ever come. Eventually, somehow the scene of the person you had originally wanted became someone else, and a feeling of sadness washed over you.

You came closer behind him, “Jongin, what are you doing up and cooking? You’re sick, go rest some more and I’ll wake you up later.”

Surprised by your voice, Kai spun around, almost dropping the spoon. Simultaneously, the two of you reached out for the spoon, his hand reaching for it first, while yours brushed against his. An all too familiar feeling crept up your spine, and you retrieved your hand. “Oops. Sorry.”

Kai straightened up, his smile growing twice. “Don’t worry, I feel a lot better now. I had been up since 6, so I decided I’d make us some breakfast before I go.” However, right after saying that, he started to let out a whooping loud cough, that made your frown deepen in concern. You walked over and placed your palm across his forehead. He was still warmer than he should be.

“Just go rest, let me cook,” you reached for the spoon but he held it up high in the air. He smiled at your small action and gently bumped you with his hips, “No! You always cook, it’s my turn to show you my cooking skills.”

“But you’re sick!”

“Yes, I’m sick, but I’m not dying,” said Kai, his voice soft as he assured you on his health.

“I can’t let a guest cook in my house though,” you replied curtly.

Kai turned around, putting his attention back on the sausages he was working on. “I’m not a guest, Hari… I’m your best friend. We aren’t strangers to each other, so it’s okay for me to do this for you.”

You wanted to sigh, but held it back instead. It was frustrating to see him try so hard to befriend you again, though a part of you was slightly happy to see that he was putting in effort, you couldn’t but wonder if he had other motives for his actions. You wanted to believe that he wouldn’t hurt you again, but time and time again, things have turned the other way. As much as you wanted to get your friendship back to it’s original state, you doubted that anything could make your heart change it’s mind. Trust is a lot like a piece of paper, once it’s ripped apart, it’s hard to put it back together. You can put tape to fix it up, but no matter how much tape you put over it, there are still cracks on it.  

Twenty minutes later, Kai was done and the finished product lay waiting on the table. The two of you sat down, just like old times, with your plate of breakfast and a cup of warm hazelnut coffee by your side. You had thought that you were a good cook, but comparing it to Kai’s, he was a better cook. In less than an hour, he managed to whip up scrambled eggs, fry up some sausages and bacon, boiled a bowl of miso soup and slice up some apples and pear for the both of you. It had been a very long time since you had a table full of food at your house, so having this in front of you was a strange sight to see.

“I didn’t realize I had so many ingredients in my fridge,” you whispered in awe.

Kai lightly flicked your forehead and chuckled. “That’s because all you eat is ramen noodles. No wonder you’re so skinny… I should have my assistant start grocery shopping for you. I can’t stand seeing your fridge look like it’s dying of deprivation.”

You threw him a look. “I take very good care of my fridge and myself, thank you very much. I don’t need anybody to get me anything.”

“Aigo, I never realized how much you have grown over the years. You used to love me getting you things and treating you like a princess,” reminded Kai, as he took one of his bacon strips and placed it on your plate. “Remember those days when you made me hold all of your shopping bags just so you can go eat a dozen hamburgers? Or the time when you made me buy you all those kinder eggs at the convenient store while you were on your period?”

You smiled slightly at the memory. “What do you mean I made you do all those things! I never asked for you to do anything. You always offered to buy me strawberry milk and kinder eggs, okay Kim Jongin.”

He ch