CHAPTER 52

[Sol Han Na’s POV]

“Where were you last night, Baekhyun?” Chen spoke in the middle of our breakfast. “I woke up at dawn break and you weren’t beside me at all.”

I almost choked on the water I was drinking.

Baekhyun’s face remained calm but I could see his hands underneath the table, they were already balled into fists.

“I… I was out taking a walk,” he answered, his tone even.

My mind went back to what happened last night. What were we thinking? Hugging each other out in the open? We didn’t stay hidden inside my room like we used to. I already forgot about Chen being his roommate. Thank God he didn’t thought about getting out of bed to look for Baekhyun or what he’ll see would surely surprise the hell out of him.

“Aish, hyung, jinja,” Sehun reacted, his voice sounding tired and accusing. “If you went out to see Taeyeon noona again, you could just tell us. It’s nothing new anyway.”

I flinched. Placing my chopsticks down on my plate, I took another big gulp of water. Calm down, Hanna. Calm down.

Baekhyun glared at him.

“I. Didn’t,” he spoke between gritted teeth.

“But honestly, hyung,” Tao interjected. “Are you two dating?”

“No!” Baekhyun exclaimed.

Tao and Sehun exchanged knowing glances before staring back at Baekhyun. Both of them spoke at the same time, “Yaksok?”

Baekhyun sighed in frustration.

“Why are you two torturing me so early in the morning?” he demanded, his face contorted in annoyance.

The two shrugged.

“You two just look like you’re dating, hyung, jinjaro,” Sehun spoke, returning his attention to his food.

Baekhyun only shook his head and disregarded the two.

Even the boys think the two of them are dating, I thought.

Finishing my breakfast in an instant, I stood up and headed to my room.

“Done already?” Suho asked, his brows raised in worry.

I nodded and continued on my way.

I could almost feel Baekhyun’s gaze at me as I left the room.

The conversation made me lose my appetite.

***

“The episode turned out really well, didn’t it?” Manager Song asked, staring at me through my reflection on the mirror. The two of us are left inside the dressing room, my stylist went out after finishing prepping me up. It’s Thursday and I’m off to another win – if the heavens would allow me.

“Ah… Y-Yes, Manager,” I stammered, gripping my chair tight.

Manager Song immediately picked up the hesitance in my answer and walked towards me. Placing a hand on my shoulder, she spoke, “What’s wrong?”

I almost wanted to lie to her, to tell her everything’s alright. But I remembered how I promised to tell her anything. In the end, I gave up. I cannot keep all these problems inside me or one day, I’ll surely explode. I ought to share them to someone, and that someone is rightfully Manager Song.

“Baekhyun…” was all I was able to muster. I know Manager would understand.

She pulled a chair and placed it beside me. She sat down before she spoke, “He’s mad again?”

I sighed.

“He was,” I began. My hands began shaking. I closed them even before Manager Song had the chance to see. “But we already talked over it, Manager. We’re okay now. But… I… I just can’t help but worry about him.”

Manager Song seems too intent to listen. Leaning closer, she motioned for me to continue.

“He’s too immersed in comparing himself to other men. He’s afraid that someday, someone might just come to me and do things that he said… he said he cannot do,” I explained, my voice toning down into a whisper. “I wish I could comfort him, Manager. But he just won’t listen to me.”

Manager nodded her head in understanding. Placing a hand over mine, she carefully spoke, “Baekhyun has a point, Hanna. We cannot blame him.”

My eyes snapped up to meet hers.

She gave me a faint and sad smile.

“There are tons of men out there liking you – loving you, even. And we cannot blame Baekhyun for being afraid. He knows the limits of what he can do for you, Hanna. And he’s just scared that one day someone might end up doing the things he’s incapable of. Someday, someone might serve you more than he can. Baekhyun loves you, Hanna. And I know how much he wants to prove that – to you and to everyone. But given the situation you have, he just can’t. He can’t do it no matter how much he wants to.”

I looked up, trying to blink the tears away.

“But I won’t left him, Manager,” I murmured. “I won’t love anyone other than him.”

Manager Song shook her head.

“It’s too early to say that, Hanna. You two have just begun. There’s more to come – things that can either make or break your bond. You can’t predict just how long you’re ready to stay hidden, Hanna. You don’t know how long you could keep up with this secret. One day, you’ll long to have a free life – a life away from the darkness and secrets of your world. What if that day comes and Baekhyun couldn’t still provide that for you? What would you do?”

I closed my eyes, finally letting the tears fall. I reached out and enveloped myself inside Manager’s arms. She patted my back as I let the pain swallow me. This was all I ever needed – a good cry, an outlet to pour out all my pain and fears. After a few moments, I leaned away, finally able to calm down.

“Thanks, Manager,” I said as I wiped my face dry. Thank goodness my stylist thought of applying a water-proof make-up or I’ll be doomed. “Sorry you have to see that.”

Manager smiled and tipped my chin up to meet her eyes.

 “Isn’t that what I’m here for?” she said, giving me a kiss on the forehead. “Now go bring that trophy home.”

***

I reached up and caught a handful of confetti falling in the air. The people around me are cheering. I had just bagged