[Byun Baek Hyun’s POV]

I knocked on her door but it didn’t open.

I knocked again. 

I waited for he to open it but still... she didn’t.

Doesn’t she want to talk to me? 

I knocked again, hoping for the last time.

Nothing.

Frustrated, I leaned my head onto her door. I closed my eyes and sighed. 

“I know you’re in there. Please open it,” I whispered, as if she could hear me from inside. “I want to talk to you.”

It was then that I heard it. 

A sob.

I pressed my ear closer to the door, trying to check if I heard the right thing. 

There it goes again. 

A muffled sound as if someone’s in pain.

She’s crying. 

I felt every inch of my body became alert as I pushed the door open, not thinking about the members sleeping in the other rooms, not thinking about how much I am invading her privacy. 

It took me a while to see her. Her room was dark. No other light present except the moonlight spilling from her glass doors. She was curled up on the floor, her face hidden by her knees. Even from a distance, I can see her small figure trembling. 

I felt my heart sank. 

She looked so fragile, so helpless - like she’s only a kid and not a nineteen year-old lady. 

Without thinking, I entered her room and closed the door shut behind me. I walked and knelt beside her. I held her fragile figure on the shoulders and forced her to turn to me. She moved but kept her face hidden. I can hear her muffled sobs more clearly now. I felt like my heart’s about to explode. 

I removed my hands from her shoulders and slowly held her face. I lifted it slowly, forcing her to look at me. And she did. 

I gasped.

Her face looked so red - most of all her eyes. She’s been crying for too long, I thought to myself. 

Tears continue to fall as she stared at me. I wanted to speak to her, to comfort her, to tell her anything nice. I wanted to say a million jokes just to make her happy... but I can’t. Suddenly, I am out of words to say. 

I stared at her, hoping my eyes would show her how much I wanted her to be okay. I wiped her tears with my thumb but it just kept falling. 

If only I could take away her pain, I thought. 

Yes, if only pain can be transferred... I would have willingly taken hers in exchange of all the happiness I have inside. I would have given it without any hesitation. I would have given everything up... just for her. 

“Han Na,” I spoke, my voice low and breathless. I still have her face in my hands and I kept wiping each tear that falls. I cannot help but notice how smooth and soft her face felt, and how it perfectly fits the shape of my hands. Right now, for the first time, she’s looking at me like she’s glad I am here with her - like she actually needed me. 

I wasn’t able to stop myself. 

I pulled her, hugging her close to my chest. I heard her gasp in surprise but I didn’t mind. I hugged her tightly. With my arms wrapped tight around her, I became aware of her body leaning against mine. My heart skipped a beat. I was only waiting for her. Waiting for her to push me away, just like she always did. But this time, she didn’t.

I felt it. I was aware of how her arms slowly wounded around me, hugging me back. I can feel her heartbeat against my chest. I know she could also feel mine. I wish she’d realize what she’s doing to me - how my heart races just because of the feel of her against me. I wish she’d understand that it’s been her all this time. Not Taeyeon, but her - only her. 

She pressed her face against my shoulder to stifle her sobs. My shirt started to feel wet with tears but I didn’t react. She’s still crying and I’m already aching to know the reason why. I wanted to ask her but I’m afraid it would only ruin the moment. I don’t want to let go of her. I want to stay like this forever. 

I patted her head, continuously and slowly. I can smell her right now, more clearly than I ever had before. She smelled sweet - not the synthetic kind of sweetness brought by perfumes - it’s her own scent. I breathed her in, memorizing the scent. This is my favorite scent now. I would know and look for this anywhere in the world. 

We stayed like that for a few moments. Me, patiently waiting as her sobs slowed down and her breathing became normal. I almost thought she had already fallen asleep. But then she moved, slowly disentangling herself from me. I wish I could’ve stopped her, hug her back, but I know it would be impossible.

“S-Sorry,” she spoke, looking down at her shaking hands. “I never should’ve done that.”

“Done what?” I asked, confused.

“I’m sorry. I’m really sorry,” she repeated over and over. 

I held her again on the shoulders, keeping her in place. I stared at her directly in the eyes and spoke, “What’s wrong, Han Na? Why are you crying?”

She seemed to be taken aback for a moment but then she replied, “I... I miss my family.”

She’s lying and I know it. She has this attitude of looking at her hands every time she tells a lie. I know it has only been a few days but I’ve already noticed it. I notice everything - everything, when it comes to her. 

“Missing your family wouldn’t give you a mark on your neck,” I blurted. Her head snapped up. She’s looking at m