78/100 -Tigress- The Dark Kingdom
The Library ArchivesThe Dark Kingdom
written by -Tigress-
reviewed by Amber_Sica
Title: 7/10
Honestly there are a lot of stories name similar to this one, so it is by no means a unique or intriguing title. The biggest redemption for it is that not only does it suit the story in that it’s a very dark kingdom (lol) but I do believe the name Darkellyun means Dark Kingdom. Interesting!
Plot: 27/35
4/5: Originality
This was a hard one for me to decide upon. I’ve read a couple of print books that have plots similar to this one and I can’t help but to wonder if you may have gotten the idea for it partly from those books (Undercover Princess, anyone?), however, I have never read a fanfic like this. So if you got the idea from those books, kudos to you for turning it into a fanfic with a beloved character. My biggest issue with your originality (and the reason for the point being taken off) was that the Prince’s identity was so easily guessed and so very cliché.
7/10: Believability
I like that you built up your world and made the characters feel like real people, but there are some things in this story that really have to be taken on faith! For instance, why, if Amber has red hair and that’s a sign, was she never recognized? Why was she trained by the Temple if only to be crowned and not made an assassin? Why didn’t the Brotherhood know of Daehyun’s sister, if they were so ‘all-knowing’? See, there are many questions that you left unanswered and that had they been answered, would have solidified your story.
8/10: Narration
For the first several chapters, you had a great voice and a really suspenseful style of writing. About halfway through the story, though, you changed that, and it became more rushed and almost, dare I say, ‘half-’. We’re friends so yes, I dare say it. Watch out for that, because when you yourself are not ‘feeling’ the story, the readers can tell. Instead of powering through it anyway, take a step back and find the enjoyment again before continuing on.
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