Title: 10/10
 It does make sense for the title to be what it is. Even though you only have a few chapters so far, you have the right name for your story

Plot: 25/35

                5/5: Originality
                It’s really cool that you’re writing about a shy, shut in, introverted girl. And what makes this kind of interesting is that the girl is like super religious, you don’t see that much religion in fan fiction (or at least none of the stories I have read lol).

                7/10: Believability
                The situation is weird. I mean, it feels like you are writing in a Korean mentality, you know? Although from what I know about Korean standards, especially when it comes to family, the parents don’t really care how long their children live with them. And it kinda freaked me out when Jiyeon’s dad got so angry and aggressive. Anyway, yeah other than that, you’re good.

                7/10: Narration
                Hm, the narration can use some work. So far so good, it’s just that in the very beginning you over described small details, such as the clothes that Jiyeon and Jongdae wore in Jiyeon’s dream. Don’t get so caught up in small details, otherwise you’ll be fine.

                6/10: Setting
                I’m not quite sure where the setting is half the time. Just a tip, try to separate scenes that are flash backs or that are dream sequences. Use italics or just put a very large gap between paragraphs before you start describing something else. You have a lot of memory and flash backs, try to sort through them, please.

Characterization: 26/35

                7/10: Development
                Um, since you have a lot of flash backs and mem