All that I have
written by Angel110
reviewed by -Tigress-

Title: 7/10
Your title is pretty, in that it denotes that the POV character is giving everything they have into their relationship despite the consequences. The problem with it is that it doesn’t really fit your story. Sungmin and Kyuhyun both hide their innermost secrets and so they are not truly giving all they have to the relationship.

Plot: 21/35

                3/5: Originality
                I couldn’t give you full points on originality because there are honestly a LOT of stories out there like this. I’m not saying that it should never be written (even I have one similar!) but always try to make the plot your own using twists that no one would expect, like having the significant other not able to deal with the pain that the lead character is going through. Any small thing that would make your story stand out from the others out there.

                5/10: Believability
                I think there are a couple of places where your plot truly suffered, and believability is definitely one of them. The first glaring problem I saw right away was the way you made the abuse Sungmin went through as a child be unknown by everyone around him, even to the point of not going to school. When a child is absent from school there must be a reason given by a parent, and long absences are always looked into so as to make sure that the home life is going as it should. So more believable would be to simply make the bruises hidden by his clothing, etc, or that he made up stories to explain them to his teachers.
                Secondly, he could never get away with using the cat as an excuse for his cutting. Maybe in his mind it worked but in real life there is no way that Kyuhyun wouldn’t guess the truth. So changing the story a bit to make it so that Kyuhyun already knew but was trying to deny it in his own mind would make it more believable, especially since it was supposed to be a 5 year long relationship.
                And last but not least, a few months would not make everything so nicely beautiful as you’ve done. I love the ending, of course; I love happy endings!!! But the pain of abuse takes a long time to get over, and so even while working at it, there are so many slip-ups and fall-backs that it is an incredibly lengthy process. I would suggest either moving your timeline up a bit, to make it say, a year later, so that it fits better, OR make him a little more flawed so that not everything is perfect but it’s getting there.
                I DO have to applaud you on the choice to have him actually going to therapy. Too many people who use similar plots do not have the Lead go to therapy, instead dealing with it on their own and with their loved one’s help. And yes, that does help, but there is no better way than therapy and I was super happy to see that in your story.

                10/10: Narration
                I have to admit, I am not a fan of first person POV at all. It drives me CRAZY!!! However, you kept your voice consistent throughout and you played well with the way that Sungmin’s pain came across, so good job.

                3/10: Setting
                Here is the other place that your plot really suffered. We are the readers aren’t really given anything about the setting of your story. I know there is a bathroom, a bedroom, and a kitchen in the house, but nothing else about it. I don’t know where the story is set, what city/country/season of the year, literally nothing beyond the happenings of the story. Description is so important in a story, even if it is simply an angsty oneshot, because you need to be able to connect with your readers not only through the character’s but through your setting. Adding in details of the home, of what his life consists of beyond sleeping and cutting, and other small things will help bring your story to life.

Characterization: 27/35

                8/10: Development
                I understand that o