The Dark Side of the Moon

Written by KangminBread

Reviewed by sophomoric

Title: 6/10

My honest first impression was, “meh.” It’s an okay title, but it didn’t strike me as particularly gripping. At the end though, I realized how it tied in with the story. I love that you ended it like that. However, I think I would’ve like it more if mention of the moon came up throughout the story because it was kind of random. I also think it would’ve been better if you used an analogy that pertained to all of the three (or two, depending on how you look at it) main characters. Or just Sungmin. Sure, Youngwoon played a pivotal role, but it seems like the story revolved more around Sungmin than him. Until the end, that is.

Plot: (19/35)

3/5 Originality:

I docked two points because the plot isn’t anything new. You just took forbidden love and a love triangle, and put it in a historical setting. That’s not to say I didn’t enjoy reading the one shot, because I totally did. I was originally going to take off three, but I like the way the love triangle resolved itself. Mutual romantic love and respect between more than two people don’t happen much anymore because it’s not socially acceptable in the modern day context. Plus one for that.

4/10 Believability:

There were a lot of parts where I found myself pursing my lips and questioning the realism of the situations. The first time I did this was when Youngwoon was “given” his name. I get that nobles wouldn’t care to differentiate between their slaves, but at age ten, Youngwoon definitely would’ve already been named. He would’ve either given himself a name, or been named by the slaves he worked with. It would be really weird to walk around for ten years of your life without a name to identify with. You make it sound like his life started when he was named which, as nice as it sounds, isn’t realistic. The instant affection he felt for Sungmin was also weird to me. The social standings would’ve been a big barrier and I would’ve resented this young, arrogant prince who was given everything at birth while I would never be anything. I don’t know, maybe it’s just me.

Anyway, the next part is Sungmin’s confrontation with the neighboring king about the arranged marriage. The fact that the king accepted makes literally no sense. Arranged marriages are political. Both sides benefit from them. Sungmin benefits a lot because he gets the king’s army, but the king gets nothing but trouble because Sungmin’s kingdom is unstable. He gets no assurances that Sungmin will be able to take it back (though he’s very charismatic) and even if he did, that’s it. He doesn’t get any reward. It sounds inhumane, but people in power don’t do things that don’t benefit from.

Finally, we have your interesting idea of a woman in power. I fully support the idea, I do, but there is no way there would be peace under a woman’s rule in those times. Females are supposed to be weak and irrational, and neighboring kingdoms would take that as a go ahead to attack. If you’d mention that some of them did try to attack, I would understand, but you didn’t.

  Those were some specific examples, but I also have some comments on something else you did repeatedly. You have a habit of inserting important details when it’s convenient. The problem is that I never heard about them beforehand. For example, the incoming “war” from the north. Sungmin used it as a significant part in his speech to persuade the king but without prior knowledge (and absolutely no mention of it afterwards), it was like you pulled it out of thin air. Same with Youngwoon’s amazing archery skills when Sungmin’s back was turned. Sure, you said he learned it, but he wasn’t inhumanly quick until that moment. And the citizens’ positive reaction to Sungmin’s homecoming? The fact that he would make public appearances to see what it was like away from the palace? None of this was mention