53/80 KangminBread - Substitute Shell

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Substitute Shell
written by KangminBread
reviewed by WinterMelodies

Title: 10/10
I think that the title suited the story and it was very original.

Plot: 21/35

4/5: Originality, 4/10: Believability
The coma concept has been done too many times but the idea of Sungmin being connected to the robot shell is really interesting and a great idea! However, coma stories in general are very unbelievable. It’s been done too many times that after a while it just gets old, and in reality, comas and memory loss do not work like that. I would recommend trying to find a different idea that would still fit with the whole Sungmin being in the robot. I also had trouble believing how Sungmin realizes that he loves his adopted brother and all that. To be honest it’s happened so many times that it’s not very original anymore, and though it is an overused plot piece, it is not very believable.

10/10: Narration
I actually really like the way you narrated the story. You had a consistent, smooth and natural voice and it was really nice.

3/10: Settin

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Amalya #1 Jan 13, 2016 04:59:22

Chapter 22: After finally finishing writing It Begins With Blood (still posting the last couple chapters), I decided to revisit the previous review. It still has just as much impact now as it did then, if not more so. There are certainly many things I could go back and change to make it more accessible to readers and more pertinent to the tags specifically listed. As I got to the end, it definitely felt even harder to juggle the people I'd introduced and to make sure they all had some sort of resolution. To the point that I'm not sure I succeeded even half as well as I intended. But I do know that with the sound critique given, the access to the polls taken, and the suggestions made in regards to how I can make it better, this is certainly a project I would like to put under the microscope again at a later point in time. Perhaps when it's not so fresh (now) and it's had a chance to settle. Writing 'The End' is always hard with any extensive piece of work and this one was no different. But I do feel I can make it better and give it a stronger direction and purpose in the future. To that end, I wanted to thank Amber_Sica again and especially you Librarian for keeping the reviews in an easily accessible archive for later perusal. It's incredibly helpful and I will be coming back to it in the future. Cheers!