Pure Admiration
written by foodminlove69
reviewed by Librarian

First things first. I would like to apologize for how long this review took to complete. Several of our reviewers read it and discussed it, becaus they each had problems with trying to review it, and finally it came to me to write out a review that I thought might best suit. For how long we have taken, I would like to offer you a one-time VIP pass to this shop, so that if you want a review on another story, you can bypass the queue and you will be done first. Thank you for choosing us and once again, I apologize.

Title: 4/10
Does not fit the story at all. Pure admiration for a make-believe character and I am not even quite sure whose admiration this would be talking about? Obsession, Dream-State, anything else pertaining to your story would have been better. But as it is there is no true admiration at all. I will give you, it is a pretty title.

Plot: 20/35

                5/5: Originality
                Totally original, you've got that for sure.

                5/10: Believability
                Honestly the whole romance angle felt like reading a K-drama, with the cliche falling-for-the-upcoming-boss to the engagement at only a month of dating... can I tell you a secret? People don't fall in love that quickly. First there is meeting, then there is like, then there is crush, then admiration, and eventually love. One month does not happen, despite what dramas tell you.

The rest of it was... uh... confusing? How can a dream have an imagination? I know that you were trying to write something original and with a bunch of twists, but unless they make sense, the more twists do not a better story make. I was so confused reading from a make-believe person's POV! 

                5/10: Narration
                Once again, the whole POV thing was weird. I would highly suggest telling this story simply from Jongdae's angle, with the romance and Minseok going crazy etc, to the waking scene. It would make a lot more sense without the additional scenes of Sasha talking to Minseok, those made it seem just mixed up and thrown in to confuse the reader.

                5/10: Setting
                Filling in more description of your surroundings and of your characters will help to flesh out your story a lot. As it is, while reading it, it seems almost like reading a script for a play. There is basic information, like where they are standing, but nothing of what they are doing, how they are behaving, and anything about their surroundings. Here is an excerpt...

EXAMPLE: "You've been doing a great job lately, Minseok," Jongdae said as he patted the other on his shoulder. Minseok found out that Jongdae was the future owner of the entire company. However, that didn't stop them from getting closer together.
 
"Have I really? I feel like I've been slacking," Minseok sighed as h