91/100 gaksitalGaksital - Mr Mime and Miss Chatterbox

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Mister Mime And Miss Chatterbox
written by gaksitalGaksital
reviewed by Yeoniebb42

 

Title: 6/10
I quite like the title! I find it fitting to the story, it’s definitely not hackneyed but unfortunately, it’s rather forgettable. What you have now is pretty good and I wouldn’t recommend you to change it since it definitely scores points on originality but I’d advise you to consider shorter and catchier titles in the future because I think that really appeals to readers more, doesn’t it?
By the way, I adore the foreword! If I were to score you on the foreword category then you would have indubitably received full marks for it was very well-written and grabbed my attention by the collar. I was doing happy fist pumps and ready for a victory dance after I read it and realised that I would have the honour of reviewing it!

Plot: 32/35

                3/5: Originality
                Genuinely speaking, I really enjoyed the plot. The whole thing with Sunggyu being mute and Heeyeon being a voice loud enough for the both of them was a very nice touch so I must applaud you there especially since it was strong enough to overshadow what could have been a very simple and unoriginal plot. A love triangle amongst friends, unrequited affections, the crumbling of a marriage over a miscarriage – we’ve seen it all before but thanks to that one special bond between Sunggyu and Heeyeon, everything worked!

                9/10: Believability
                One of the charms of this story is how realistic it is and the moment where I personally felt the full toll of this was when Sunggyu and Heeyeon lost communication during their marriage. Everything until when Sunggyu requested a divorce overwhelmed me in feels and my heart exploded, panged and broke with Sunggyu every time. Of course I’ve never been in a similar situation so I feel the need to deduct a mark since I didn’t personally relate to any events but the character-reader connection was truly something else.

                10/10: Narration
                There were elements that escalated a little too fast but given that it was initially intended to be a one-shot, I think I’ll just let you off there. Whilst your overall writing style is more on the simple side, it is a perfect example of the quote: there is beauty in simplicity. One of the things I enjoyed the most was the beautiful nature imagery you used throughout the story! Truly magical and unquestionably worthy o

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Amalya
#1
Chapter 22: After finally finishing writing It Begins With Blood (still posting the last couple chapters), I decided to revisit the previous review. It still has just as much impact now as it did then, if not more so. There are certainly many things I could go back and change to make it more accessible to readers and more pertinent to the tags specifically listed. As I got to the end, it definitely felt even harder to juggle the people I'd introduced and to make sure they all had some sort of resolution. To the point that I'm not sure I succeeded even half as well as I intended. But I do know that with the sound critique given, the access to the polls taken, and the suggestions made in regards to how I can make it better, this is certainly a project I would like to put under the microscope again at a later point in time. Perhaps when it's not so fresh (now) and it's had a chance to settle. Writing 'The End' is always hard with any extensive piece of work and this one was no different. But I do feel I can make it better and give it a stronger direction and purpose in the future. To that end, I wanted to thank Amber_Sica again and especially you Librarian for keeping the reviews in an easily accessible archive for later perusal. It's incredibly helpful and I will be coming back to it in the future. Cheers!