Hope
written by qtpies
reviewed by SouthWest

Title: 7/10
Do you consider 'Hope' or 'The Waiter' to be the title of this one shot?  I like 'Hope' as the title, but the use of the word in the story is a little prolematic and thus the title doesn't really work in relation to the story.  Hope, when used as a noun, is a feeling.  It's an emotion.  The only time you see it in someone's eyes is when that person is feeling it.  In your story, Mireo is seeing hope in Daehyun's eyes, but is feeling it herself.  If you plan on revising this story, this is something I suggest changing.  It's an easy fix if you change it from Mireo seeing hope in his eyes to feeling it when she looks in his eyes.  If this hope is a theme in the story, it needs to be mentioned again at the end.  Maybe something about the bruises disappearing and hope for the future blooming.  The doctor's cream may be the reason for the bruises, but this waiter's charm was the reason she was finally able to feel hope again.  Something like that.

Plot: 31/35

                5/5: Originality
                I thought this oneshot was really original.  The whole abuse/angst thing isn't (I just reviewed another story that dealt with abuse), but you make it original in this story through character development.

                8/10: Believability
                So, at first I was like, why on Earth would Daehyun offer a random girl his own clothes?  But by the end of the story, that just felt really true to his character.  After seeing his mom abused, maybe he recognizes the same in her.  Maybe not protecting his mom and regretting it means that he tries to protect all women now anyway he can.

I'm not sure I believe that she was able to trust him that easily though.  If some stranger offered me his clothes to wear, I wouldn't trust him, and I don't have the same trust issues that Mireo has.  And she does have a choice, she doesn't have to take his clothes.  The way I saw it, she was a little off balance.  He's obviously making her feel something she hasn't felt in a long time, if at all.  And him being so nice to her throws her off even more.  Not knowing what else to do, she accepts his clothes.  Plus, she's got to be feeling really cold and miserable in the wet clothes.

One other thing is the bruises.  I got confused about whether the bruises are on her hands or her wrists.  Because at the bus stop, Daehyun is like, 'What's wrong with your hand?"  But then you mention the bruises on her wrist.  Hand and wrist are two different things.  Hand and finger can often be mixed, but not hand and wrist.  I kind of thought that when he asked about her hand, maybe she had a