It Begins With Blood
written by Amalya
reviewed by Amber_Sica

Title: 10/10
I really love your title. Not only does it set the stage for a fantastic dark fantasy story, you have that added tagline in to offer that bit of curiousity. This title is not only incredibly unique, it also shows the reader what kind of story it is going to be. It is obviously not going to be a fluffy and romantic story from the title and as I read through the story, the title becomes even more fitting. 

Plot: 28/35

                5/5: Originality
                This story is fabulously original. Yes, there are vampires and werewolves and a human torn between them (sound a little familiar? Twilight?) but thankfully it is nothing at all like the afore mentioned e. This story of yours is full of new ideas brought to the old idea of vampires vs werewolves that is feels fresh and new.

                8/10: Believability, 8/10: Narration
                I added these two categories together because they are quite tied together. Of course, your writer's voice is beautiful as always. Also, most of the story is quite believable. I especially enjoyed your set-up of how Ryeowook came into contact with the vampires in the first place, it made plausible sense and it felt like it could truly happen. My biggest issues with the story comes in the mass amount of happenings. So many things have happened to the group that it feels a bit like you lost your way. The story easily could have (and probably should have) ended when the group made it across the border into relative safety. Sure, there are other things that could happen, but had you ended the story there and then begun a sequel, it would feel more natural. Finish your goal for this story and move on to the goal for the sequel (i.e. This story's goal was Ryeowook turning and the escape from the government. Number two would be dealing with the new world they find themselves in and KyuWook's relationship deepening). I took a poll, actually, to see how readers feel about long stories vs series. I think you may find the results interesting. Poll #1  Poll #2 
                According to my creative writing textbook: "All fiction works best when it concentrates on one person in one situation that takes place in a reasonably short space of time. A fictional story expresses a moment of change and charts the journey through this change and shows what happens at the far end. Don't allow yourself to be sidetracked." I think that there are some points in your story that could easily have been done away with. It seems like you got sidetracked and just went with the new idea instead of keeping with your main goal. Always try to keep your goal in mind. Even if you don't do outlines, have a main goal, a few main things that need to happen, and then stick with it. Don't listen to the whispers of ideas and add more in; just focus on the one goal. That way you will avoid any out of place, over the top happenings.

Please Subscribe to read the full chapter