89/100 rainbowthings - Au Revoir

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Au Revoir
written by rainbowthings
reviewed by SouthWest

*Note: This review covers only the first two chapters of the story (Prelude and Page One).

Title: 9/10
Name a story 'goodbye' no matter what language it's in, gives it a sad tone. So, far, the title seems like it will fit the story well. It's the name of her Granny's house/inn which is a place well known to both Eunjae and Taehyung. That's a nice connection. I'm just not sure why an inn would be named 'goodbye.' That doesn't seem very welcoming... And why in French? I hope this will be explained in the future.

Plot: 32/35

5/5: Originality
I'm not sure yet if this story is original or not. The story outlined in the forwards doesn't seem very original, but the way you're writing the story is intriguing and original. I hope the story stays original in the future and doesn't become cliched.

8/10: Believability
It's a really big coincidence that they both showed up at the grandparent's house... Does he make a habit of just showing up often? Wouldn't Granny and Grandpa have done something if they didn't want him knowing that she was coming back? If he knows them so well, why didn't they tell him that she didn't remember him? What did they tell him? These are all questions you might answer in coming chapters, but because they aren't there yet, the believability of these chapters is in question. Also, if he doesn't drive, how did he get to the house?

10/10: Narration
I like how you tell the story and how you set up the scenes. The scenes are a little short and you flip between Eunjae and Taehyung very often, but if that's going to be normal for the rest of the story, that's okay.

9/10: Setting
I really liked how you set up the airport with Eunjae and her camera. And then introducing the inn with the garden. But there was no setting when Taehyung is talking with his brother. Yes, they're at their house, but in what room, what does the room look like, etc.

Characterization: 33/35

10/10: Development
There really isn't any development yet because it's only one chapter,

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Amalya #1 Jan 13, 2016 04:59:22

Chapter 22: After finally finishing writing It Begins With Blood (still posting the last couple chapters), I decided to revisit the previous review. It still has just as much impact now as it did then, if not more so. There are certainly many things I could go back and change to make it more accessible to readers and more pertinent to the tags specifically listed. As I got to the end, it definitely felt even harder to juggle the people I'd introduced and to make sure they all had some sort of resolution. To the point that I'm not sure I succeeded even half as well as I intended. But I do know that with the sound critique given, the access to the polls taken, and the suggestions made in regards to how I can make it better, this is certainly a project I would like to put under the microscope again at a later point in time. Perhaps when it's not so fresh (now) and it's had a chance to settle. Writing 'The End' is always hard with any extensive piece of work and this one was no different. But I do feel I can make it better and give it a stronger direction and purpose in the future. To that end, I wanted to thank Amber_Sica again and especially you Librarian for keeping the reviews in an easily accessible archive for later perusal. It's incredibly helpful and I will be coming back to it in the future. Cheers!