Extra-Curricular Activities
written by Angel110
reviewed by -Tigress-

Title: 9/10
Your title fits with your story and plot very well, my only issue with it is that it is a very generic title. I searched the title here on AFF, actually, and came up with more than ten other stories named that. Do be careful when you are naming your stories that it's not a name that has been used a lot. A more unique title will draw your curious eyes to see what the title is all about. 

Plot: 22/35

                2/5: Originality
                There was one thing that really affected this portion, and that was that it is very predictable. As I read I could predict what would happen in nearly every scene. Throwing in a new twist every so often would make your story more original; otherwise, it is much like any other teacher-student story out there.

                7/10: Believability
                Let me first point out what I absolutely loved. The conversations between the characters feel so natural, like listening to two people actually talk. Your characters have a natural rapport that is really rare in stories, even published ones, so I really have to applaud this!!!
                That being said, now I have to get to the dirty details. I am a long time out of school but I found it pretty unbelievable the many different things that the homeroom teacher taught. I didn't subtract for this because I truly do not remember homeroom myself, but are those (the book reading, the drama, the writing competition) truly things that a homeroom teacher would be in charge of? I would find it a lot more believable if you had him teaching theater or creative writing, the latter being a better choice to me, and sticking with that.
               Secondly, I have to admit that the thought of a seventeen year old boy being so coddled by his mother is really strange to me. At seventeen, I cannot imagine ANY boy who would do so, but maybe that's just me. It does come off as a little Norman Bates-ish to me, though.
               Using a fanfiction for a writing competition is not allowed, at least not one in which money/scholarship is involved. Technically that would be breaking copyright rules. Simply change the fact that Minseok says it is about a band and say they are original characters, and viola! Problem solved. On that note, though, I found it incredibly brilliant for you to use a story that you had written as being the one they wrote. Bravo!
               One final note. The 'deciding if he was gay' thing really kind of bothered me. He would know at that time, and the fact that he was unsure makes it sound to me like he is bi-ual. To say that he suddenly discovered his attraction to men from one kiss is completely unrealistic and could possibly come off as a bit offensive if someone who is gay read your story... you make it sound like a choice when it is simple biology.

                10/10: Narration
                Ah, as always, your writer's voice is incredible. I love the way you set up your stories, it makes for such a wonderful read.

                3/10: Setting
                Once again I have to get onto you here. We need more description of the surroundings of their everyday lives!!! I will quote from my previous review... Description is so important in a story because you need to be able to connect with your readers not only through the characters but through your setting. Adding in details of the school itself, what he has inside of his locker, what does the library look like, where does he sit in Heechul's classroom, etc, will help bring your story to life.

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